My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now and since we have been dating his psycho ex has been stalking me! I can't get rid of her, she is always txting and calling my boyfriend and trying to show up places he is. She is obsessed with his family, and trying anything to have some type of hold on him. He has no interest in her what so ever and does not respond to her.. she has even gone out of her way to message my best friend to find out information about our realtioship. She calls and messages our friends until they respond and if she gets the chance to be around any of them, she tries to throw it in my face, this has been going on for a whole year now and it needs to stop. We talk about marriage often and I know that even if were married she will not stop.

Your boyfriend needs to do a lot more than just ignoring her. Sorry that's your solution, he has to handle his ex business a lot more aggressively. Like get the law involved and talk to his family and friends.

Ever hear of a restraining order? Get one.

I agree with Tal.

Your boyfriend needs to stop being so passive and become more aggressive.

This is something that HE needs to handle. This shouldn't have to be your responsibitiy.

Your friends should also stop responding to her text/calls. They aren't helping by responding.

Restraining order would be a good start.

I know!! EXCATLY!! I SAY THE SAME THINGS!! He is sooooo passive... but when he does tell her leave him alone and stop it just adds fule to the fire!. And I would LOVE a restraining order but I don't think we have much proof! Giving this girl the smallest amount of attention even to tell her to stop waisting her time, makes it worst. If this continues or something does not change, it makes it verrrry hard for me to see marriage with him in the future, eventhought this isn't all his fault. This girl doesn't stop... What kind of quality of life is it to continue living with all the drama, Im personally getting fed up.

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Originally Posted by torn123

I know!!!! EXCATLY!!!!!!! I SAY THE SAME THINGS!!!!!!!! He is sooooo passive...but when he does tell her leave him alone and stop it just adds fule to the fire!!! ..And I would LOVE a restraining order but I dont think we have much proof! Giving this girl the smallest amount of attention even to tell her to stop waisting her time, makes it worst. If this continues or something does not change, it makes it verrrry hard for me to see marriage with him in the future, eventhought this isnt all his fault. This girl doesnt stop....What kind of quality of life is it to continue living with all the drama, Im personally getting fed up.

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She may be relentless. She may be drama. She may be a annoying. Just keep in mind that what or how she is bahaving isn't your boyfriends fault.

YES. He needs to put a complete stop to it once and for all, however, people are going to do what they want to do. That being said, continue on with your future with this man if he makes you happy.

Don't let this woman ruin things for you.

Well here is just a thought----if he wants to be soooo passive about this situation with the ex-girlfriend by not involving law enforcement so you can feel safe about being a relationship with him, then perhaps you need to show him how you can also be passive in this relationship when it comes to his NEEDS!!

All of you are so right! Thank you for the advice it really makes me feel better to have outside opinions!! And any other advice your willing to offer I am willing to hear!! Lol that includes ways to push her buttons and soooo on...

If someone is stalking you to the extreme that you have advised then from my past experience as a law enforcement dispatcher DO NOT push this woman's buttons so to speak. We never know what causes a person to snap into unrealistic thoughts.

I know you are just sick and tired of her interfering with your relationship, but seriously if she is still pursuing this man after a year then something is not right with her. Your safety should aways come before getting someone back. Please be safe.

Take care

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Originally Posted by torn123

All of yall are soo right!! Thank you for the advice it really makes me feel better to have outside opinions!!!!! And any other advice your willing to offer I am willing to hear!!! Lol that includes ways to push her buttons and soooo on.....

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Do not provoke or underestimate a NUT! Let the right people who are trained, do the job for you.

People who stalk are usually on the edge. Not a good idea to push buttons that may cause an explosion.

Sit your boyfriend down and get some meaningful communication going about this.
Tell him how bothered you are and that you think he needs to do something about it.

If your concerns are disregarded it may be time for a reevaluation of how strong this relationship is.

I would think he should have done this already without being urged to action... unless he is keeping her as a backup knowing she will be around regardless of what he is doing now.
I see no other logical reason for his lack of regard to your feelings and letting her be disruptive when she is suppose to be out of his life.

I'm sorry, but I don't see where they boyfriend is at fault here. You've said that he has no interest in her whatsoever, doesn't respond to her, doesn't seem to get rattled when she contacts friends and family.

You seem to get very upset. Are you saying that in the year she has been 'stalking' you, that you have not retaliated, or argued with her, or engaged in a little mud slinging of your own? That you seem to know when she has contact with friends and family, seems to me you are keeping pretty close tabs on her.

IF you feel threatened by her behaviour, i.e. stalking you, following you, harassing you by text, email, etc. and throwing threats around, then you should not wait for your boyfriend to take care of your business. You should go to the police and report her behaviour toward you.

IF your boyfriend is also facing the same circumstances, and is also being harassed by phone, email, and being followed or bothered by her in any way that is a result of no encouragement on his part, then he too should take care of his own business, go to the police and report the behaviour.

For this ex girlfriend to have such a fire in her belly after a year of constantly trying to get to your boyfriend, something must be fanning the flames.

If that is because she is a loony tune, and there is nothing you can see to stop her unwanted intrusions into your life, the only thing you can do, is go and see the police.

I had a similar experience had to get 2 restraining orders the first one did not work and I also hired a lawyer. I hope he finally got the message its been 3 months since the last one ended... you should get a restraining order NOW. You don't need much proof to get an order... going to court puts a much more serious light on the situation and will hopefully make her stop.

Of course I have got in to it with her but only on two occasions... First when she constantly sending me Facebook messages saying that my boyfriend is sleeping with her, when he was actually sitting next to me and on the second when she call my bofriends phone 72 times in one hour... Hello? There are only 60 min in a hour!. Any way I think that the psycho part is about her not being able to have kids and I can and the second part is my boyfrined comes from a lot of money and he would pay her bills and buy her everything... Soo I guess she plans on sticking around so that if one day we do not work out she thinkd she will be able to get back with him... I don't know. But as far as me provoking her, no... I don't have anyting to do with her... I try to avoid her at all cost, even though I would love to whip her ***, she is not worth going to jail over.. She belongs in a padded cell. And as far as saying do I keep tabs on her? No I have her blocked on Facebook... But people that know the situation do tell me things about her and I can't help that. Also yeah I do get upset because she is not doing thses things because she knows me and Im a ***** or anything.. I have never met her... She is doing it because Im his new girlfriend. If it was anyone else she would be doing the same stuff to to that person. And everyone around where Im from knows she is crazy, so they feel bad for her or just don't want to be mean.. soo they try to be nice and brush her off... soo it doesn't help the situation.

I guess a restraining order seems more and more possible and sensible.

Let everyone know including the authorities.

Then cut out all the FB drama. That means all.

Friends should comply.

Start there. Document her attempts.