Here's the deal... been dating my girlfriend SERIOUSLY for almost 2 yrs... left my ex-wife to hopefully be with her the rest of my life... we had a bad scene with her father... he and I had words and it was ugly... this happened a few months back... my relationship with my girlfriend was obviously strained... in more frequent arguments following the scene with her father, I continued to harp on that situation... I really allowed it to adversely affect me... and I took it out on my girlfriend... NOT COOL... but I have begun the apology process with her parents finally... and with my girlfriend... she asked for time and space 2 months ago... we've spoke only sparingly during this time... minimal contact verbal or electronic.. NONE in person... she still doesn't know how much time she needs... I am dying to get back with her... will do ANYTHING to make it possible... the question is - how much longer is it fair to make me wait and just dangle in the wind? I have NO CLUE the next time I hear from her... I never know... not until I break down in desperation and email or something... she tells me how much she loves me... neither of us doubt our love for the other... but I am beginning to feel resentment over the length of time this is dragging on... how much longer do I wait? This is beyond unhealthy for me... lost almost 20 lbs... cannot sleep at all... what should I do?

You have to allow her all the time and space she needs to get over this set back in your relationship. If you do try to hard to end it, it will not be good and ruin your chances of ever getting back what you have temporarily lost.

Don't pressure her, don't rush her. Just find something else progressive to occupy your mind. Can you take a short vacation? Can you join a gym?

But its already been TWO MONTHS.when we talk, its so loving and warm... but then right back to a seemingly endless holding pattern.how much longer?? at times I feel resentment starting to creep in... "how can she let me suffer this long"

She's not letting you suffer, you're doing that to yourself.

Don't wait for her.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by slapshot_oi

She's not letting you suffer, you're doing that to yourself.

Don't wait for her.

---

I totally agree with your comment, slappy. Yes, OP is doing enough suffering for both of them, but I wouldn't go as far as saying not to wait for her, but then again, maybe she was so offended by the set to with her father that she just couldn't get passed it. Daughters seem to be very protective of their dads if they are close, and this may over-shadow the relationship entirely. I mean, she saw a different side of her b/f, one she hadn't recognized before. I am just assuming, but its my take on this situation.

Patience is a virtue

Tick

Hmmm, well I noticed were you stated in your post that you left your wife for this woman. Karma is just a B**ch isn't it!!

Iam sure someone told your ex-wife not to sit around waisting her time waiting for you to change your mind to come back. Maybe its time for you just to move on with your life.
This lady still has you sitting in limbo just waiting for what exacty. You cannot change the past, all you can do is apologize. So what more does she want, does she want you to get counseling? If she cannot answer this question, other then needs more time, then you need to take the hint. Good luck

She is all fuzzy, and warm but has you in limbo. Frustrating. What gets me is in 2 freaking months of warm fuzzy talking, but no action. You have neither got a better plan together, or made up your own mind, about how long YOU intend to wait.

I know, you left your wife for this female, and are desperate for this to work, but you apologized, and now its time to get things resolved, or get out of this situation. That has nothing to do with her, and its all about you making a decision for yourself.

Just me, there would be no more warm fuzzy conversations, she would have to tell me what's up, and what we do about it, or I would be out, and frankly, that's probably her point.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by tickle

. . . but I wouldnt go as far as saying not to wait for her, but then again, maybe she was so offended by the set to with her father that she just couldnt get passed it.

---

It truly is a matter of opinion.

Waiting, in my experience, means idle time; putting your life on hold just to wait for a phone call. This is always deadly.

To clarify my advice, it's just to get out of the funk that the OP is in, because what he's doing now--20lbs. Is a lot of weight to lose--is clearly not working. Whatever he decides to do after she contacts him and wants to talk is up to him.

I just got out of a situation like this man. Although, her space turned out to be 6 days opposed to a month. What helped me, was I sat her down and told her how I really felt. I threw all my cards on the table. I told her I didn't believen this whole break thing, and that I wanted to be with her. Things seem to still be healing, but we are currently together.

2 Months is too long man. I hate to say it, but if she has kept you dangling for that long and still has such little contact with you then it is probably over. =/

Sorry Jimmy that this is happening. :(

I hate to be the one with bad news... when people say they need some space, it's a nice way of saying I'm done with this and moving on.

She is just being nice on the phone to let you down easy.

I wish you the best. :) I know you will find a new good woman, when you are ready. It is what it is.

Yup, Karma's a *****.

Lesson learned.

Take some time to figure what you want. Look inside. Take a step back.

Be single. Take your time. Don't rush or rebound.