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Believe me when I say my intentions toward her are good, no sex in mind, just kissing, holding hands and hugging. I do not honestly care if you have a problem with it, if you want to point out your issues with it then go ahead. But I would like to know if it is legal in the UK. Cause so far things between us are going great. Preferably I would like positive feedback.
While it is not illegal to date, I would question your own motives and reasoning.
While there is only 5 years in age the differences in maturity, development and outlook are VAST.
Well, I'm sorry to say, you aren't going to get any as what you are doing is morally WRONG in so many ways.Quote:
preferably I would like positive feedback.
If this was my daughter you would NOT be allowed anywhere near her!
I just have a question and that is, why don't you date a girl your own age? I think the maturity levels would be a lot different between 11 & 16 but then again, I've been wrong before.
Comment on Curlyben's post
And that's a fair opinion, but I don't see the problem with dating someone if they love you back. And I'm different to other guys, I don't really think of sex when I think of girls
Comment on adam_89's post
Well, thank you for not judging me first of all, and I have tried finding girls my age, but this girl's different. Not because of the age but, usually I'm fairly depressed, but when I'm with her it all just goes away and I can be happy
What do her parents think about you dating their daughter?
Why do you believe that an eleven year old can love you the same way that you love her? An eleven year old does not have the same outlook on life that a sixteen year old does. An eleven year old has no concept of love in any context other than friend or family. An eleven year old has no concept of 'long term relationship' or fidelity.
I question why an eleven year old would want to be involved in a romantic relationship with anyone.
You shouldn't be involved with her because she makes your depression go away. That sounds like you are making her responsible for your happiness and that is not fair to anyone at any age. If you have a problem with depression, then you need help. Are you getting any help?
I think the two of you might make great friends, but I think that is as far as the relationship should go. I don't think you quite comprehend the dangers of making out (kissing, hugging, and holding) with a child. At this time, you might not be interested in intercourse, but it doesn't take much to cross the line between kissing and cuddling and sex.
Does most of that even matter, do people control who they fall in love with? And by the way, thinking that I'd cross that line between kissing and sex, I do realise how young she is, and so does she. I just want advice and facts, not assumptions
Well that sounds like you've found a nice friend. Go with friendship, it's better for this period of your lives.Quote:
Originally Posted by husky004
I don't know if I can do that though, she was the same as me before, depressed. We both wanted to die (yes, I know we need help). It'll be tough on me if I brake it off, but she might react worse and do something stupid. She's to important to me
Yes you both need help, where are your parents in all this? An 11 year old is not ready for sex and you should know that. She's following your lead so don't lead her down the wrong path. Be a man and do the right thing.
I told you that sex will NOT be involved. Her dad's dead and her mum suffers from depression and doesn't care. And mine don't know cause I don't want them interfering with my relationships. They have a tendency to want to be to involved
I don't understand a 16 yr old being attracted to a child :confused:(11 is still a child)
Sex should be so far out of the question as not to be an issue, but it still might be in this way.
I am not familiar with the laws in the U K but there are laws here in the US in various states ,
That because of your age difference , coupled with her extreme young age,
You could be violating several laws and be charged with a variety of crimes from moelestation to rape.:o
I would carefully look into your local statutes and laws to see if that may be the case there too.
11? :eek: Dude... think about what you're doing... but at 16 you still think you know most everything like all children your age.
Just like you thought at 16 you are no longer a child... you are.
You could do something constructive and become therapy buddies.
Go to counseling together and be a mini support team outside of counseling.
A 16 year old "dating" an 11 year old, while not illegal, would NOT be looked at favourably by the powers that be.
This is very close to child grooming, which IS an offence.
Maybe they want to be involved because they care about you.Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
Apathy is the opposite of love. Not hate. If they show interest in youi it is an indication of love... like it or not I'm just sayin'
Okay, yes we're still techinacly children, but we can make our own decisions. But despite that, thank you for at least a fact on the dating laws. Plus seeings I'm not 18 I don't think this would count as illegal cause we'd be in the same age group
We realise that people can and will look down on it. Some will consider it sick. And we're prepared to take that. But it's her happyness that I care about, you people can have a go at me all you want, I just want to know what the laws are
And I respect that, but I'm going to get enough trouble about 'morals' on here. I don't need or want them to be in on it as well
11 and 16 are in NO way considered in the same age group, there is a huge difference in maturity and development levels.Quote:
Originally Posted by husky004
No one is having a go, just pointing out the clear and honest truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by husky004
You do realise the potential trouble you could be in if you take this in any way down a romantic route??
Friendship, fine, but any hint of romance would land YOU in a shed load of trouble.
The age of criminal responsibility is 10 in the UK!!
What I was pointing out is that in some states , because you are 5 years older than her, it puts you in the position of being able to be charged with various sex crimes, but you would be charged as a minor.Quote:
Originally Posted by ;
The idea here is the older person would have almost total control mentaly, and total physically.
I wish you well
Your parent's should be involved. That's what good parents do.Quote:
Comment on NeedKarma's post
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I told you that sex will NOT be involved. Her dad's dead and her mum suffers from depression and doesn't care. And mine don't know cause I don't want them interfering with my relationships. They have a tendency to want to be to involved
Look at what her mother not being involved in her life is doing to her. She is looking for love and acceptance from an older male. She is the type of young girl that pedophiles look for because they don't understand the love they are looking for isn't romantic but parental. What you are seeing as emotional maturity is the exact opposite. It's just that neither of you have enough experience to recognize it.
Talk to your parents. Be open with them about the depression and your concerns about your friend and her issues. Ask for help before something negative happens.
You have a good point, but it doesn't change the way I will feel about her or visa versa. And I realise this is a stupid thing to do. But for once I'm going to follow my heart and not my brain.
As Ben said, we're not having a go at you.
We are trying to help by letting you know things that ONLY age and experience can bring.
You have put yourselves in a tenuious position and our goal is that no one ends up in trouble, or hurt, or damaged in any way.
Sometimes it takes having a go at some people to get a point across. But this is not the case here.
If we were just having a go at you, I think you'd have signed off a long time ago.
It can get ruthless,. I'm very good at it if it comes to that , which I can't see taking place on this site.
You weren't being picked on.
You want facts, then consider that hugging, kissing, and cuddling with a minor of 11 by a sixteen year old is a criminal offense, and also consider that what YOU call "love" is taking advantage of a minor who has NO appropriate supervision, since this is a big secret from YOUR parents.
She has no guidance in this matter, and for you to use that as a way to get what you want from her, when you should KNOW better, IS irresponsible, and manipulative.
For all your talk, its very obvious that the only difference between her, and other girls your age is, you can use her, and not them. And its very easy isn't it, "like taking candy from a baby!!!"!!
Real love, young guy, is about caring enough to do the right thing, not the easy thing, not get what you want, and use some one in the name of love. She needs to be loved and guided, not cuddled and kissed.
But of course how would you know what's right, and wrong since you sneak around behind YOUR parents back, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY WOULD NEVER STAND FOR THIS BEHAVIOR.
Maybe we cannot help who we love, but we can damn well help what we do about it, and frankly you are the worst kind of manipulator and predator. Preying on the weak, and helpless. And that's what makes you a criminal, in acts, and deeds, so save the justifying yourself, and think with whatever it is you call a brain, because the life you save may be your own, and doing the right thing instead of YOUR thing, may help you both, and YOUR parents as they are libel for your actions, also.
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