I was diagnosed with manic depression when I was 16 (I'm 21 now) a short while after my mother died. I tried Zoloft, but after my grieving process I realized I didn't need them anymore. I have always been very popular and extremely social but for the past 8 months or so, I've become extremely insecure about myself. I hate how my eyes are always dark from being anemic, and I think I have the body of a little boy. I'm always nervous about changing around my husband, or letting him hold or touch me. I compare myself to so many women which makes me become disgusted in myself. I've gotten to the point where I cancel on my friends last minute all because I was feeling down about myself. I don't know why I feel this way, I have always been so happy and knew how to accept every insecurity, but now my insecurities are pretty much eating me alive. I just don't want to hate myself anymore.

I think you would benefit greatly by seeing a psychiatrist. It seems to me that you just need to have your self-esteem re-inflated. You lost your mother way before you were ready to. I happen to know that your mother would NOT want you to feel this way. In regards to your husband, he's with YOU for a reason. He loves you and cherishes you. Even your insecurities, so let him just appreciate you. You are ALLOWED to be loved and cared for by another human being. You are WORTHY of love and acceptance. You ARE beautiful and unique and that is what makes you, you.

I wish I could just reach through my screen, give you a huge, long pep talk and a great big hug.

You are worth love, you are valuable and you are absolutely, without a doubt gorgeous.

Once you start seeing someone who can help you untwist these silly lies about yourself, you will clear your mind and see yourself for who you are. I would also suggest daily affirmations that can make you say it out loud and eventually believe it and then fully know it!

When I was raped, I had a hard time forgiving myself. My mantra was, "You will overcome. You are resilient. You are beautiful. I love you." I said it every single day. I wrote it every where. Now, after two years, I believe it. So will you. Just allow yourself. <3