I live in Pa. The mother of my child lives in Ohio with the child & got a court ordered DNA test to make me the legal father and pay support. I did the test and am waiting for the results. She verbally bashed me in a text message and on Facebook a few times on our child's profile and when I retaliated by calling her and disputing the accusations by phone and posting my own defense on Facebook she had me and my entire family removed from her contacts so I have no way of contacting the child. And told me she's pressing harassment charges on all of us for trying to contact the child. Now she just messaged me saying that she plans to move to North Carolina before the DNA test comes back so I can't stop her from leaving. What can I do? Is she allowed to leave before results come back?

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Originally Posted by mikemasters

Is she allowed to leave before results come back?

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Legally-yes.

The problem is the Ohio courts will still have jurisdiction until she establishes residency in NC. So once the test results are returned you can file for visitation and joint legal custody. She will have to return to Ohio to hear the case. Its possible, the court will order her to return to OH because she left without court permission while there was pending litigation. Even if they allow her to live in NC. You should still get visitation.

Thank you. Im actually considering filing for full legal and physical custody because this has been the pattern of her behavior since she told me she was pregnant in 1998. In 11 yrs I've only spent maybe 2-3 years with my daughter. Its been killing me.

Will Ohio courts make her return when results come back posotive? Do I have the right to file for full custody. She sent me a message stating that she was deliberately leaving before the results came back so I couldn't stop her.

She's taken off for 2months to 4 years in the past without a word knowing I had no parental rights to stop her then blamed me for not being around enuf for the child. And she's the one who filed for the DNA test, and now she's running away

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First, please don't use the Comments feature for followups. As you can see the comments is limited. Use the Answer options at the bottom of the page.

Yes you can file for full custody, but its unlikely you will get it. But its worth doing to go on record.

Why did you wait so long to establish paternity? Was it because until then you didn't have to pay support? The courts are going to look at that. Why didn't you file for visitation? Without a court order for visitation she had no obligation to let you see the child.

My mother has a list of every address & phone number the mother provided & documented every unanswered call & disconnected number & every holiday gift that returned to sender. She is a very irresponsable person in my eyes. The child deserves better.

Part of the issue, you don't live in the same states at this time, so any visit will still be out of state.

I doubt that the court would prevent her from moving to another state, since the two of you are not living in the same state at this time.

Next you act like an adult, stop posting things back on Facebook and the such, and fight it out in court.

Next unless she is a danger to the child, ( and a lot of moves is not a danger) so there is little chance of getting full custody with what you have said.
Next since you don't live every close, while you may get "joint" legal, with a school age child, they are going to live most of the time with one parent, and unless you prove her unfit, it will normally be the mom

I didn't wait to establish paternity. I asked the mother if she wanted to do it when the child was just over a year old and she said no because she didn't want support, only wanted me in her life. I asked again through the next few years and she never wanted to. Only after she asked me to sign the birth certificate a few months ago so the child wouldn't get left out of my life insurance benefits if I died, because I was in a car accident in Sept of last year, and she suddenly was concerned about making me the legal father. When I questioned her methods, and told her I would only do after she got a court ordered DNA test to Prove that I was the father, she became irrate and accused me of being a deadbeat dad and the drama has only been worse since then now that we are waiting for the DNA results to come back she wants to leave before I have the power to stop her. I am trying to collect evidence that she is a unfit mother due to reasons I won't get into on this site. So I plan to do whatever I have to in order to get custody of her. And she may not be a physical danger to the child yet but my daughter has told me of fights between the mom and grandfather with objects flying across the room and violent screaming, and though moving around isn't a crime, because of the moving and lack of stablity in the home, the child's education has suffered dramatically she has ADD and is on no treatment for it and is 2 years behind her grade level. Isn't the mother supposed to look out for the best interests on the child and put the child's needs before their own? If she was moving around to avoid giving my rights as the father and the child has suffered from that, and the fighting in the home is causing the child emotional stress and pushing her to want to live with me, I feel the mother may have psycholgical issues and may be an unfit parent without getting treatment for herself.

I was told by a few people that once paternity was found... I could pick up the child on a regular visit and tell the mom to file for custody if she wants her back. Is this true? Sounds a little weird to me. There is NO current custody order for me or the mother at this time. I don't want to do anything to jepordize my chances at getting custody in the future. Do I have to file for temp custody or just wait until a custody hearing is scheduled?

Does anyone have any further info on this? I want to protect my child. She says her mother is very angry most of the time and even called her mother "crazy" when she fights with the grandfather. She says she is angry with her mom for keeping her from me all these years, and feels more loved in my home than at her moms.

What do you mean "paternity was found"? Do you have a court order to that effect?

Your hunch is right. Although, depending on the circumstances you could try that and get away with it, it would still 'jepordize [your] chances at getting custody in the future." For one thing, it would demonstrate to the court that, since you cannot be relied upon to abide by the terms of what I assume was an informal agreement, you also might not be totally reliable when a formal order is in place.

The mother asked me to sign the birth certificate so the child wouldn't be left out of my life insurance benefits if I die and I told no until I was prooven to be the father. I had to piss the mother off just to get her to get the court ordered DNA test. And since then she has refused to let me see the child then bashed me on Facebook for not coming to see her enuf. That makes sense... lol I plan to colect evidence of her being emotionally and influencially unfit so I can get custody. Just want to make sure I do everything legally.

Have you gone to court yet? I merged your threads so the whole story is on one place.

To get the court to order a DNA test, some other proceeding had to be filed. Either a support or a custody proceeding. Now that the DNA test has come back positive that case should proceed. As part of that case you should be filing for visitation. Have you done that? Have you done any of the things we suggested?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

... I doubt that the court would prevent her from moving to another state, since the two of you are not living in the same state at this time. ...

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Pennsylvania and Ohio are a lot closer than Pennsylvania and North Carolina. OP can ask for an order in the nature of a preliminary injunction preventing the mother from taking the child to Carolina. Whether it would be granted is anyone's guess.

She couldn't file any support case on me until the DNA test came back... I am not even on the birth certificate because the mother took off after telling me she was pregnant and didn't tell me she had the baby until she was 1 1/2 yrs old. The mother put "father unknown on Birth Cert. And when I asked her about getting DNA and support at that time she said she didn't want all that, just wanted me to be a part of the babies life. She took of for 2 yrs, then again for 4 yrs and again for 2 yrs. Without telling me or my family, knowing I had no rights to stop her, and never kept a phone number for more than a month, then when she felt like returning, bashed me for not seeing the child enuf or helping her financially. The only reason we got the DNA done now is because after I had a car accident in Sept. 2010, the mother said she wanted me to sign the birth cert. in case I died so the child won't be left out of my military insurance policy. I told her I wouldn't sign until she got court ordered DNA test to prove I was the father. And it has been nothing but blame games and drama since then and now she won't even let me talk to my daughter. I think she has emotional and psychological issues and also has criminal past and may be unfit.

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Originally Posted by mikemasters

she couldnt file any support case on me until the DNA test came back...

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Again, this does not make sense. A court will not order a paternity test just out of the blue. A mother cannot walk into court and say I want him to take a test so please order him to. A father cannot walk into court and ask that a test be ordered just so he can know if he's the father. It doesn't work that way.

A mother files for support and the court says first we have to be sure this is the father so we will order a test. Or a father goes into court and asks for custody and visitation and again the court s first we establish paternity. So some court action had to be filed to get the court to order a test. If you don't know what that was you need to find out!

All I know is she went to her welfare dept and got the DNA paid for by them. My name was never on the Birth certificate as the father... it says "Father Unknown". And we only found out lastweek that I am her biological father, so I thought she wouldn't be able to get support from me until paternity was established, I have received no other paperwork in the mail except the DNA test papers.