Well I'm only 11
And my mum and dad have been married for 16 years now and dad is working abroad and my dad hits my mum and all that and cheats on but now my dads abroad working everythings changed .
My mum has eplipsy and I have been worried ever since she has it .
Mum works every Friday night and we have a babysitter and she goes out every Saturday night, of course I get worried in case anythings happens like what if she has an eplipsic fit and no ones there ! She might even swallow her tongue!
But today I have been reading her message's and some bloke called Alex texted her saying he has a lot of fun snuggling and cuddling into her and I texted back are you gay are something and that I have a husband and this thing can't go on bye ,
I just told my mum and she's very angry at me and she says she's going to leave .
I am now crying as I'm writing this .
Why did I do that ?
Its all my fault !
Will she leave?
All I know is that I need help .
Please what should I do !

You are taking on a lot of responsibility at 11 young lady.
It is quite adult to be concerned about your mums epileptic seizures when she is out with other adults, (who would hopefully know what to do to help her if need be.)

It is not a good thing that your dad hits your mother. And it makes it even worse when you are aware of that kind behavior from your parents.

Hitting anybody is wrong. But it is what many people do that are not mature or smart enough to deal with problems in a civilized manner.

I am very concerned about you. Does he also hit you? If he does we will find a way to put a stop to it. No child (sorry hon, you are still a child) should ever have to be abused.

It is very sad that your parents are involved with other people while they are married.
That too is behavior that causes a lot of trouble for the people involved. And most of the time the kids get hurt too by the parents not being mature as they should be.

First... it was wrong for you to be reading your mums messages. Everyone is entitled to privacy , at least to some extent, and you should have resisted the temptation to peek into her stuff.

But no one is above making mistakes at times and doing things we KNOW we shouldn't.

What you said to her friend is what your mum should be saying.
But it was not your place to say it, (even though I think it was a witty and intelligent response)... but I understand why you did and how you feel.

I am sure that it did make your mum somewhat angry. But I think she may be even more embarrassed because of her bad behavior.
I am sure that she will not leave you.

I am a parent and I have got angry at my kids and at times said stupid things to them like your mother did.
But parents still love their kids even when they are angry at them.
I'll bet your mum loves you a lot and is proud to have a girl as mature and intelligent and you are.

Try not to be to upset over this. It is not your problem and is in NO WAY your fault at all.

The adults have caused the problem and unfortunately you got caught up in it.

Things will settle down and get better for you I'm sure.

What you should do is maybe find one of your good friends and do something like go to a mall and be a young lady instead of a referee in your parents problems.

And if you don't get feeling better and are still worried you can always come here and find some really great people who will talk to you, and help you in any way necessary.

I would like it if you would check in now and then so I will know how you are doing.
I am a grandpa and it is my job to worry about kids . I hope to hear from you again. And soon too.

I wish you well hon

One of the many things children feel witnessing physical abuse between their parents, is a need to protect them. You are put in the position, because of your age, not to be able too much, except worry, and try to protect the victim, in this case, your mother.

When your father went overseas, life improved, and naturally you want to protect and preserve that new sense of security and happiness in your home, without the worry and burden of your mother getting beat up.

But you are still in a position where you cannot do anything, or control anything, to maintain that security and happiness. That your mother sounds like she's looking for happiness with another man, while understandable to some degree, naturally you are worried that what she is doing is dangerous. Adding epilepsy (while she is likely controlling it with prescription drugs), and alcohol, is a dangerous mix.

You cannot control any adult, whether it be a parent, or teacher, or anybody else.

What you can do, is speak to a school counsellor, and allow yourself the luxury of learning effective ways of coping with your home life. Talking face to face with a trusted adult, will help you realize what you can, and cannot do, and put the focus on you, and not your parents.

While your heart is in the right place to want to protect your mother, it should be the other way around. You are taking on an adult role, that you are not mature enough to handle. That is what I mean by you cannot change their behaviour, you can only react to it. It isn't your place at your age, to be a parent, to a parent.

There are better ways to deal with the situation you are in, and a counsellor is a good place to start learning. While it would be better if your parents were maybe making better choices, their choices are their own, and they will make them with or without your approval.

Thank you so much for replying ,

Mum says I'm to mature for my age as well
But in my mums childhood was troubled for her and her parents were alcholics ,
Which makes me conscious about mum going out .
She never really had a mum when she grew up and my granny died .
And Granda had a stroke and can't talk granda smokes and drinks a lot !
And its a lot of pressure on my Mum especially because I also Have a teenage sister and a troubled Brother.
And ever since dads left mum has been so merisable .
After I told her what I done I ran down stairs and wrote This ,
After a while I felt so guilty for swearing ( calling him gay ) I washed my mouth out of Soap .
After a while I apolgised to my Mother and she told me that her and dad are seprated and dad also has a girlfriend ,
And my dad knows about mum having this ' Boyfriend ' She says its nothing serious just that she needs adult company and she's so lonely ever since dad left .
I pray to god every night as I am a catholic and I pray that mum does not have an Eplipsic fit and that mum would be happy ,
Maybe this ' Boyfriend' makes mum happy .
And I talked to mum a lot and I told her I never want to meet this 'boyfriend' and she told me she understands .
Thank you so much you helped me a lot

Amy,

I don't know what to say that will make any of this any better for you. But I did want to let you know that I think that your parents are extremely lucky to have a daughter like YOU!!

I only wish I could give one big hug. You are one neat person, and you will be able to achieve anthing in life with the caring attitude you have!!

Please keep us posted, we will be here to talk. Keep saying your prayers (I totally believe they are heard, and it won't hurt anyone to say them)!!

All my respect to you!

Thank you so much !

I try to do my best at school ,

And when I grow up I would like to be a lawyer .

I had a smile on my face when I read that .

I'm a mummy's girl and I look up to my mum ,

I am quite mad at my dad and no he doesn't touch me I hope not anyway !

I would like to be known as caring but I also speak my mind and I would be really mad at my dad if he touched me or my mother!

My mum told my My teenage sister about her 'boyfriend' and She called her a tramp but she calmed down and give mum a big hug .

I know when u read my story u would think that my mum is horrible or Hideous and that she shouldn't be a mum .
But my mum is the best I admire her for what she does she cares for us and she cares for my grandad
I like to think as her as a super hero but we all make mistakes .

And if my mums happy ,
I'm Happy

Does your mum take medication for her epilepsy? If she does (and I'm guessing she does) and if she's happy, she will be much more likely to take it when she's supposed to and not forget. So maybe her man friend is a good thing for her in several ways.

I too admire you and am glad to have met you, even if it's only on the Internet. Please visit us here on this site and let us know how things are going for you. We will be your aunties and uncles.

Ty Wondergirl ,

Yes mum takes Medicine ,

She takes it every morning and every Night .

She goes to The Doctors for her Jags every 3 Months and for her Check ups .

I always remind her about her pills but she beats me to it and already does it before I remind her.

I would like to think of you's as my Aunty's and Uncle's thank you

I am so grateful for all of the help
Thank you x

I couldn't agree more with answerme_tender. You are a great kid. And what a big heart you have.

Good luck to you Amy.

WG you could have thrown in a grandpa too.

You had already had mentioned it, but, yes, I should have reminded her. There are probably a few grandmas here too. (I was trying to think young.)

Amy,it is smart and caring people like you who give me hope for the future of this world.

Now that you heard from Jake, Wondergirl, and Answer Me T,

I'll bet you know why I told you there were some great people here.

And they really love what they do here helping people like you

So don't hesitate to jump back in for a chat when you feel like it.

Quoting Wondergirl

Quote:

---

There are probably a few grandmas here too. (I was trying to think young.)

---

I am just trying to think,. at all. I try to think young but am happy with any results

That make sense. Or get real close.

Yeah they are truly amazing people on this and thank you so much all of you's for your help.
My mum was reading all the post's and she had tears in her eyes,
Now me and my mum are a lot closer.
She told me that keeping secrets from your family is bad and it brought mum down and made her merisable.
I would love to think of you's as my Aunty and Uncle's and of course grandads and Granny's

Hi ,
In my other question I told u about my mum and dad spliting up and that my dads working abroad. And that my mum has a 'boyfriend' Anyway my dads back and he is not happy.
He said he was on break for a week he 'suprised' us yesterday and today he relaised 10k was missing out the bank. He accused mum of stealing it when obvousily she did not!
They got in a huge fight and my mums staying at a Hotel now and my dads staying down at my Aunty's I don't know what to do!
We have a babysitter but the fact that the way did came to visit us and they can't even stay in the same country never mind house. I'm only 11 and I'm a huge Mummy's girl.
And I'll do anything to protect her.
What if dad hits mum ?
What if mum does a runner ?
What should I do!

Actually, there is nothing you can do. You are the last thought in your parents' heads right now, unfortunately. All they are thinking of is themselves.

Why do you say "obviously she did not" remove the money from the account? How else did it get out?

Amy

Unfortuantely you are having to come to the grips at your young age that parents are just people.

As people they will make mistakes, they can and will be self-centered in their actions. But, they are BOTH your parents and they love you and your siblings. Just because they are going through a screwed up time and don't seem to be even considering you kids in that scenerio doesn't mean they wouldn't still lay their lifes down for you.

Because they are individuals, there are times that even individuals who once loved each other can lose their connection to each other. When we forget to treat our family members as honest, and kindly as we would treat say a friend, that is when hurt feelings are sometime to hurt to fix.

I understand that you consider yourself a Mommie's girl, and that love between a Mother and Daughter is a special bond. But please keep this in mind, that your Father also loves you, and even though you feel that he isn't as close to you as Mom is, don't sell him short. He cares, he may just show it differently!!

My daughter and I have very close relationship, and I cherish that. My son is what we would call a Mama's boy (we don't say that do his face, he would have a fit)!! But my daughter considers herself a daddy's girl, they have a special bond. She didn't develop that with him till she got a little older then you are now. So please keep an open mind when you think of your Father.

You cannot do anything when it comes to Mom and Dad's adult problems. You will have to be strong for yourself and your siblings. I would just suggest this, whatever happen to that money is for THEM to work out, please don't take sides remember that LOVE is given freely, and equally. Don't let either one of them pull you into making a choice between them.

Once again, I send a big hug to you!! We will be here if you need to talk. Keep saying your prayers. Just know we care and are thinking of you!!