Ask Me Help Desk - I am 15 and pregnant, the baby's dad is 21. & then there is my mom.

Ok as I said I am 15 and pregnant. My babies father is 21. My mom allowed us dating for 6 months and I was pregnant for 3 of the months. For some odd reason she don't allow it anymore. We fight constantly, along with my half sister Maria. We fight about her drinking and how she treats me. I do not have a father like my other siblings. Maria (age 12) tells me she hates me everyday, tells me she hopes my baby dies, and she has kicked me in the stomach. Me and my mom fight about that too because my mother does not tell her to stop or anything. I watch my 2 sisters everyday. While I am trying to do my schooling on the computer. My mom stressed me out so much I started bleeding from my viginal reigon. The doctor told me to stop having stress because I could have a misscarriage. But, yet she still fights with me. I am going to try to get emancipated, but my mom said she will fight it because she will have no one to watch the girls and clean the house. She is also involved with an abusive ex-husband who has beat me and my mom. They are only suppose to be in contact about the girls but yet he still comes over and he still tells me how worthless I am. I NEED help. My boyfriend is moving three hours away and told me to get emancipated because he does not want our baby around the abusive ex or the alchole. Because my mom buys a 30 case and it lasts her maybe 2 days and she is the only one that drinks it. I need advice on what I should do to get emancipated. A;lso, any other advice you have for me. PLEASE!

I have really mixed feeling about how to answer this question, so bear with me.

On the one hand you're young, pregnant, in an abusive home, with an alcoholic mother, and I agree that you shouldn't have to remain in that situation.

On the other hand, your boyfriend broke the law and had sex with someone underage. He should be convicted of statutory rape, and your mother could very well press charges against him. That would mean that he would be a registered sex offender. He's an adult, you're a child. This never should have happened.

I don't think there's a court in this world that will allow you to be emancipated so you can go live with your boyfriend.

Is there another family member you could live with? An Aunt, an Uncle, an older sister or brother? Anyone?

Have you ever reported your mother for abusing you? Have you called CPS to inform them what's going on in your home?

You do need help, but you really don't need to go from an abusive home to living with a sex offender.

Before you get upset and give me an unhelpful rating, which I know you'll want to do, let me inform you that my post is opinion, not factually incorrect. According to site rules that would mean that a negative rating (an unhelpful) is not allowed. Okay?

Read what I wrote, accept that it is the truth, even if it's not what you want to hear, and then we can talk about where to go from here.

Are you in the U.S. To be emancipated, you have to be able to support yourself 100% and live in your own place.

Talk to a school counselor or teacher about this situation.

You do realize the father of the baby is in big trouble, don't you?

My mom let me and corey have sex, and he lived with us. And Im not trying to get emancipated to live with my boyfriend, I need out of this home because I do not want my kid around any of this. And yes children services has been in my fam for ever.

But they don't ever help they always close the case. And I am not getting put into a foster home. So I don't know. I am calling courts tomorrow to see if I can stay somewhere else for awhile until a court hearing about me being emancipated.

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Yes I am in the U.S. But my mom won't let me get a job because she said I need to watch her kids and clean the house. I have been offered 2 jobs. But I had to decline them both because of my mother. & I Am homeschooled so I can't talk to a teacher.

Another thing is my mom allowed us to have sex and be together I looked it up, they said if parent allows/allowed nothing can happen

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Your mother can't allow you to do something illegal. A 21 year old having sex with a 15 year old is illegal. She can give you permission to date him, but she can't give you permission to have sex. It would be the same as saying that you stole a car but it's okay because your mom said you could.

Let us know how it goes finding another place to stay.

Also, if you use the answer box at the bottom of the page it will be easier to post. The comment box has a limit, the answer box doesn't. The comment box is really only supposed to be used to leave a comment, like "thank you", or another small comment. All follow up posts should be done in the answer box. :)

Quote:

another thing is my mom allowed us to have sex and be together I looked it up, they said if parent allows/allowed nothing can happen

Please post the link where you found this information.

I moved this from the Pregnancy Forum since your questions are more about legal issues than health ones.

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Originally Posted by CourtRenee

My mom let me and corey have sex, and he lived with us. ...another thing is my mom allowed us to have sex and be together i looked it up, they said if parent allows/allowed nothing can happen

Your mom cannot, legally, let you have sex. I don't know what you looked up, but you misunderstood. In most states (ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area.) the age of consent is 16. And him being more than 4 years older will remove any closeness in age exception. Does social services know you are pregnant? Do they know by a 21 yr old? If so Corey is likely to be arrested.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CourtRenee

And Im not trying to get emancipated to live with my boyfriend, I need out of this home because i do not want my kid around any of this. And yes children services has been in my fam for ever.

But they dont ever help they always close the case. and i am not getting put into a foster home. so i dont know. I am calling courts tomorrow to see if i can stay somewhere else for awhile until a court hearing about me being emancipated.

Any chance of you getting emancipated hinges on your being able to support yourself. Without that you stand no chance. But I do agree you need to get out of your situation. So you need to badger social services about putting you in foster care. Of course, if you do badge social services, it increases the probability of Corey getting arrested.

Quote:

Originally Posted by CourtRenee

Yes I am in the U.S. But my mom wont let me get a job because she said i need to watch her kids and clean the house. I have been offered 2 jobs. But I had to decline them both because of my mother. & I Am homeschooled so i can't talk to a teacher.

If you want emancipation, then you need to get out of your situation so you can get a job and show you can support yourself. You also need to distance yourself from Corey. Any adult who has sex with a 15 yr old is sick.

P.S. Please don't use the Comments feature for followups, please use the Answer options at the bottom of the page.

You do realize that there is another option to making sure your child does not grow up in that mess, correct?

Adoption is a lovely option, and would give your child a chance outside of the crazy situation you live in.

You also need to get out of there for your own good. Talk to CPS--they need to know what's going on with you. If not CPS, get a hold of Planned Parenthood, Catholic Social Services, Lutheran Social Services, your priest/pastor/rabbi--TELL AN ADULT what happens in your house.

I'm also concerned about your education here, too--how do you get homeschooled if you're really babysitting and being a maid, then when your mother comes home she's drunk?