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-   -   Why is he so frustrated with me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=54690)

  • Jan 14, 2007, 05:59 PM
    heartache08
    Why is he so frustrated with me?
    My boyfriend and I broke up a week ago and I feel that he hates me now. Anything I say or do he gets so frustrated with me and I don't understand. For example, I called his mom because we were somewhat close (she treated me almost like her own daughter) and said "guess what.... dont tell Justin (my ex) but im going to....". I was just being her friend like I always have. I've called her many times before. So she called my ex and asked whast the hell is going on with me and him. She knows that we broke up, but I thought that her and I could still be friends. I love his mom.. . So he called me asking what the heck I said to his mom and that she thinks that I'm acting as if nothing has changed between me and him.. I just want to be friends with her... I don't know.. its all confusing... help anyone? Please.
  • Jan 14, 2007, 06:40 PM
    LadyMysticPegasus
    Heart Baby. Look. You can't be friends with your X's mom. I know you may have had a close relationship when you were with him but, you're not now. He's her son he comes first and he wins in her book , always.
    Also , you calling her it puts her in and awkward position. Even if you were friends before, That was different. Now you and her son have ended you're relationship and sadly but truthfully hers and yours as well.
    I think you're need to stay friends with her steams from the fact that you're not really over him. It's okay, It happens to all of us. If you're past the pillow crying stage. Try doing some confidence boosting activities. Get all dolled up and have a girls night out! Good Luck Girl!
  • Jan 14, 2007, 07:48 PM
    phillysteakandcheese
    From the guy's perspective... You're still interfering with his life.

    Your relationship is over, and while it's nice you want to try to maintain a relationship with his Mom, all you're really doing is putting your nose where it doesn't belong. It's like you're not letting go and moving on, trying to keep a thread into his life so you can remain attached somehow.

    I'd find it creepy too...
  • Jan 14, 2007, 08:25 PM
    chuff
    This is kind of like stalking but instead of you watching him, your having his mother do it for you. His mother can't make him see you. And unless your harming him in some way she should not be interfering with this relationship.
  • Jan 14, 2007, 08:55 PM
    Skell
    Its sad but you just can't maintain a relationship with an ex's parents.

    My ex's mum was like a second mother to me and it hurts a lot but we haven't spoken in over 6 months now after seeing one another almost daily.

    My ex has managed to maintain some sort of relationship with my grandparents because she loved them so much but it is on the strict proviso that my grandparents don't discuss me to her and they don't tell me anything about her.

    You just have to realise that when a relationship breaks down you often lose a lot more than just your partner. It isn't fun but a reality unfortunately.
  • Jan 14, 2007, 09:06 PM
    talaniman
    Your world has changed, not only with the ex, but with the his family and friends also. You must change too. By making new friends and leaving the past in the past. Sad but true. It's a new day in your life and takes a lot of adjustments.
  • Jan 15, 2007, 12:55 PM
    s_cianci
    He's probably hurt and resentful over you breaking up with him. And now that you're broken up with him he may not appreciate your attempts to continue to be friendly with his mother. He probably now sees you as the enemy who wounded his heart and his pride. He probably now feels that you're trying to steal his mother's loyalty away from him. He probably also feels that your friendship with his mother was a "fringe benefit" of your having a relationship with him and, since you've chosen to end things with him, are no longer entitled to that friendship with his mother. I know that this may sound silly to a lot of people but this is the typical mindset of a man who feels jilted. Actually, considering the circumstances, I think it'd be a very kind, unselfish thing to lay off where his mother is concerned.

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