Sorry if this is really long, but please bear with me. I really need some advice...

All right, so I've been dating this guy for little over a year and we've had many ups and downs. (jealousy being a major factor) I love him with all my heart and he says he does too, but the biggest issue is he hides my existence from his family. He doesn't let me associate with anyone that might know his brother because he's afraid they'll tell his brother about us and look down on him. But recently, he's been bringing home another girl for "dance practices" that usually last 4 hours to a day. I really feel insulted and hurt that he has the nerve to bring her home to his family but not me. He and this girl used to be friends but lost contact from some fight I don't know about. Now they're "great" friends again and he defends her whenever I say something somewhat rude. I don't think it's right that he thinks it's all right to bring her home, be with her for hours each day, and find it unnacceptable for me to be with my guy friends (I do not get along with girls very well). Now he is saying we should take "time apart" to think and take a break to understand each other more. I think that is bull****. So I'm asking you, reader, what do you think I should so? How should I feel about this? What is your opinion on this? Please help me, I really need another persons input.

I would not like this either. If he's asking for a break, prepare yourself for a break-up. I don't know why he has kept you away from his family, but I don't think he's showing you a lot of respect. Is he a dancer? Is he preparing for a show or something? Or does he just enjoy dancing with her? I also don't like that he dictates who you can be friends with. I'd take a long look at this relationship and decide if it's what you really want.

He is a back up dancer for his brother, it was his job to find a temp. replacement female dancer. If it had been anyone else, it would not have been such a big deal. (sorry, I don't know how to "quote" someone on here, so I commented)

The many ups and downs have not paved the way for a good understanding through honest communications it seems, and I think this is a rather rocky relationship any way. Do you live together? What about this has to be hidden from his family? That doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, and its maybe a bit one sided since you seem to be a secret lover, to a control freak. Explain why you tolerate this behavior please.

Has he given you an explanation as to why his brother might look down on him just by knowing about the two of you? He is putting his own worries ahead of your well-being.

I would think long and hard about staying with someone who can't be open and honest in his relationships. I'd give him the break he asks for... but I would be making it permanent and telling him why.

Stop ignoring the red flags in this relationship that are flying all around you. Cut your losses and count your blessings that he has handed you an out.

Find someone who is proud of you and who would want you to get to know his family. You shouldn't be somebody's secret.

No we do not live together, I put up with all of this because of all the sacrifices he has made for me. The pros of our relationship usually outwieghs the cons.

He has not. I do not know why I have to not exist to his brother, but I do know that his brother will not like the way I look... I believe it is because I do now live up to his brother's or mom's standards.

Again, he is putting concern for what others may think ahead of you, someone he professes to love. It shouldn't matter what his brother or mother may think if he cares about you. Why don't you ask him why?

How long will you remain in hiding? Another year? Two years? Where you do honestly see this relationship going given the circumstances? Are the "sacrifices" he has made worth it?

If you think they are, then why question what has been going on, you could just continue as you have been.

If you have had enough of being hidden away and not allowed to socialize with people he knows, then it is time to step up and tell him so. If he continues to put others before you, it is up to you whether you want to continue with it.

Personally, I have to wonder if there is more to the picture. He won't let his family know about you. He doesn't want you to socialize with people who may know his family. He may be hiding more than just you. Can you go round to his home to see him whenever you want? Do you have his home number and cell number to call him at any time? Can you show up to see his shows without having to get his OK?

You're very right... thank you for answering. It's helped me to realize things.