Okay, I'll explain my situation/story. (I apologize it will probably be kind of long)

My girlfriend and I started our things almost 2 years ago exactly. In the beginning, everything was amazing and I had all of the great traits a guy should have. I was very confident, self assured, cocky and funny, I had a great life with a lot of good friends, and many hobbies. I was naturally hard to get.
She was/is quite the catch herself, she is about 2 years younger than I am. But she still has everything that I want in a girl. She is a very caring, fun, outgoing, intelligent, and beautiful girl. She is ambitious and enjoys learning new things and having a lot of fun. Even though I was a lot of fun for her to chase, she was equally as much of a challenge for me.

After we started our fling, I left for boot camp and another military school for about 5 months. When I got back, we instantly began our fling again. Before me she was really into another guy who lead her on like crazy and he was a lot like me, so it was easy for me to take her mind off him and she got over him. They never dated. Now about 1 month after I got back from training, after massive amounts of flirting and dating together I asked her to be my girlfriend and she was more than happy to say yes. This was midnight on August 1st 2009.
In the beginning of our relationship everything was great and we both fell in love with each other and couldn't stand being away from each other. After a while is when things started to go wrong. We spent most of our time with each other and her family. I would go to her house like every day, so I know we spent WAY too much time together and didn't have enough space. For the first few months it didn't affect us because we thought we could handle how much we saw each other. Eventually we started fighting about really small things and then it would always escalate. Further down the road in our relationship we were always fighting daily and making up daily.

Because of how much time we spent together and how much fighting happened I started to become submissive and she started to become the more dominant one. This just made things worse for us. About 4 months before we broke up, she started hanging out with that guy I mentioned earlier again. Usually I am not the jealous type of guy but after everything that had been going on with us I became incredibly jealous and started questioning her all the time. She said she felt like I didn't trust her and I would always say It's him I don't trust blah blah.

Well about a month ago she had had enough of the fighting and enough of me being the way I was. She had lost pretty much all of her attraction that she used to have for me because I started caring about her more than I cared about my own life.

Ever since we broke up, she has been very unsure of what she wants and says she is just confused and I know it's because this other guy is a lot of fun and is confident and cocky and everything that I used to be.

This break up has been very hard for me because I want nothing more than to get her back and show and prove to her that I am making positive changes and that I have realized the mistakes that I've made in our relationship and I just am still in love with her and I'm not sure how to go about getting her attracted to me again.

We still talk on the phone at night, but I try to keep the contact to a minimum between us. When we hang out I can't help but feel sad even though I know I should act happy and confident. I'm sorry about how damn long this whole thing is, but what should I do to make myself into my normal confident and cocky and happy self that I know I can be. Do I have a chance of getting her back even though I've messed up a lot and pushed her away?

Sounds like my current situation. I want to say there is hope but I don't have a crystal ball. I did the NC rule and she came back around after being in a rebound relationship. Well I rushed back into it we ended up smothering each other. When we eventually had our first real fight it killed the relationship since we didn't communicate or give us enough time away from each other to figure things out. As of now she drops a few hints she still wants me in her life, but I'm not happy being emotional back up option. I desperately want to be back with her. So now I'm trying to figure out how to get to the point where I can tell her I want to be option 1 or not an option at all. I think that's where you need to go and try to do NC for yourself. However, it's easier said then done.

Leave her alone while you get your confidence back. I assume you can do that without her can't you?That goes for poster #2 also. And don't think because you wake up feeling better the swagger is back. True confidence comes from accomplishment. That takes time to be done right.

Wow, there is self confidence and then there is just bigger then life braggert!! Becareful which of these you turn out to be in life!!

There is another thing to keep in mind if you decide that you really like this "Being chased" syndrome. There are some that only enjoy the chase and only enjoy the first feelings of love (lust). Once that has worn off, and the chase is done they realize all there is left is just the individual.

There comes a time and place when we all have to learn that a relationship isn't all about our over blown confidence or the chase, its what is left over that counts, and we need to just be that individual from the beginning.

Next time just show what a real lady will get behind all that bragging, show what kind of MAN that will love her and be true to her is!! You see all a woman is really looking for is that special man to be by her side not standing on some self made pedestal!! Take care

Okay, I did NOT mean to sound like a self centered prick who thinks he's on top of the world and is too good for anybody. Not what I meant AT ALL. So I apologize for that. I didn't realize it sounded like that until you said something...

How's it going there Cam? I hope you are keeping up the NC. I've failed miserably at it initially as taliniman would agree. However, I've been trying and have been doing it now successfully. I won't say it's been easy but every time I want to contact my ex, which is quite often, I think to myself she only sees me as a safety net. It's comforting for her to know that she has me in her back pocket. She will never close the door completely with me for that reason. I want to use NC to gain back control of my life and to heal. I know when I heal I'll have a clearer picture of what I want to do with my ex. In all likely hood, as much of a denial I may be at this moment, the most likely situation is I will have moved on and be better off as a result of NC. Keep me updated on your progress.

I'm there too. Broke up with me suddenly after an argument, but made it sound like it was something else entirely. I miss her, but am teeter tottering about what is best for me. Now I want her back, but don't know if it's the best idea. So doing NC. It's been a little over a week since I've talked to her. Last time I saw her, she gave me my Christmas present. Then I tried to kiss her and she said I was making her uncomforatble. After that I wrote her an email, said I still loved her and missed her and that's why I acted like I did Whoops!Just don't understand how someone can act like they care so much and then turn it off.