Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   Is my ex using me? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=545764)

  • Jan 19, 2011, 12:25 PM
    anna2444
    Is my ex using me?
    After being together for nearly a year my ex broke up with me because he didn't "have time" for a relationship and because it was all "too much"... After that we met up 2 weeks after the break up and he told me that he didn't love me anymore and that we should be friends..

    About a month ago he told me that he misses me and thinks about me a lot but a relationship between us just won't work since he doesn't have enough time (which is true I guess) Since then we keep meeting up secretly and talk... most of the time the "talking" ends in making out and/or sex... I don't know what to think, he does call me and tells me that he enjoys talking to me and seeing me but I just don't get what he wants.Is he using me for sex? Or does he genuinely miss me but just can't be in a relationship because of the time issue?
    He even told me once that when it comes down to the feelings he has for me he would still be in a relationship with me but it just was all too much for him and he doesn't have the time..
    I know it's wrong to carry on meeting up with him since I'm never going to get over him this way and I should be furious at him after the way he treated me during our relationship(never called,never had time,kept things from me,never introduced me to his parents even though I really wanted to meet them etc.) but I still love him and can't let go,it's always so fun when we meet up...
    Help!what should I do? Is he using me?

  • Jan 19, 2011, 02:34 PM
    I wish

    If he genuinely missed you and wanted you back, you wouldn't feel like he's using you for sex. If you want something, then speak up and go get it.

    Quit playing mind games and guessing what he might be thinking or feeling.

    That being said, it seems pretty clear that he's not looking for anything serious with you.
  • Jan 19, 2011, 04:37 PM
    talaniman

    He is using your body, and you are letting him so it must be friends with benefits, and its so much fun isn't it?

    Stop having sex, and he will leave you alone, and go use someone else and you can get over him.
  • Jan 30, 2011, 12:41 AM
    sadshortty
    The fact that you have 2 ask that question kind of means you already know the answer. So I take my hat off to u 4 recognizing it, you should leave this guy alone, neva settle 4 less, you deserve a man that will make the time for you. And want to be with u, especially giving you the honor of meeting his parents. Good luck finding him
  • Jan 30, 2011, 12:53 AM
    martinizing2

    First I would ask why you are meeting secretly. Who is it a secret from?

    If he truly loved you he would find time for something other than sex. And if he is that busy how does he find time for that?

    You are right in that keeping up the meeting for sex is only going to make it harder to break it off which is what you should have done when he told you he didn't have time for you.

    Now stop having time for him and cut off all communication with him. No calls , no text, no Facebook, if you see him don't even wave.

    This is the only way to start the healing and move on.

    It will save your dignity and self respect also. It is not a pretty thing to be someone's sex toy to be used at will .

    And to him you are no more than this or he would find time for a relationship.

    Kick him to the curb and bolt.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:47 AM.