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-   -   Will I be alone for being different? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=545405)

  • Jan 18, 2011, 02:46 PM
    Dudee
    Will I be alone for being different?
    Hi guys. I want some advice from someone who is older and stuff.
    I'm 19. I just got into college. Classes haven't started yet.
    I had one and only girl I kissed and that was my girlfriend till we broke up. That was 3-4 years ago. Since them the only thing that happened was me falling in love for the wrong person.

    Thing is, I think I might be alone or virgin for all eternity for the way people act nowadays. I mean its okay they can act as they want but I'm not like that and I think I'm falling behind. Things is I already have no skills with girls, I can't talk to them without getting all nervous and stuff if I want something with them.

    And all the times I got success they invited me to drink or to a nightclub. Thing is I drink but I don't like it too much and I hate nightclubs, she probably just want a quick flick with me and then dump me and Im not the type of guy who make out with girls like a maniac I'm not into it.

    I'm a real geek. I love videogames, computers, technology, anime's and stuff since I was a little kid. I got so good at computers that I got a job that I'm still one 2 years ago. Even before I entered college. So I work. I'm close to getting a car. I'm not thin neither fat and I don't believe Im ugly.

    But I think I will never find a girl if I don't behave like a male gigolo like the guys in nightclubs do it. What can I do?

    Should I change? Can I change? :/
  • Jan 18, 2011, 02:56 PM
    JudyKayTee

    I think you are lumping all "girls" into the same category. Put "boy" in the place of "girl" and you'll see how biased that is.

    You need to find someone with your same interests and standards. Are there clubs at school, other social events?
  • Jan 18, 2011, 02:57 PM
    Wondergirl

    Don't change!!

    In college, you will have the opportunity to meet all sorts of people including people (even girls!) who like the same things you do. Be sure to join clubs and groups that interest you.
  • Jan 18, 2011, 03:52 PM
    dlorenzo
    My advice to you would be to stay in school,and,enjoy whatever it is you enjoy doing. You're still young and have a lifetime ahead of you.Sounds like you're a bit shy as well... not a problem,I'm certain you'll make a few friends,if you haven't already. Go out have a good time and try not to get persuaded into doing things your not comfortable doing. You'll meet girls(especially in college)just by being who you are(you've already proven that). Don't rush into things or,try being someone you're not. Good luck. Once you graduate, you'll have your degree, land a great career, have all the money you've ever dreamed of, and then you'll see how all the women will come running.
  • Jan 18, 2011, 04:07 PM
    Dudee
    :/ My college is somewhat different to the american model so we don't have clubs or any of this stuff. I'm sure I'll greatly expand my social boundaries but most of them are like I said. My crew is always a bunch of hand-picked guys, its difficult to find someone with this interest since it is "not cool" as they say..
  • Jan 18, 2011, 04:46 PM
    Dudee
    Another thing. Its normal having hooked up with just 1 girl at my age :(?
  • Feb 20, 2011, 12:23 PM
    southern_raised
    Yes, you will for the most part. I was the same way and had the same fears because love to read and watch anime, play WOW, am a health nut and hate television if its not some sort of cartoon. There just are not a lot obe people who are like that and most young folks are too superfeciall to do what they like.

    Don't be like that. And be patient. Your life may not look like everybody else's. You may not have a set group or fit in just right. You will prabably be like me and gain a new friend every five years, but you will be happier for it. Most people with a large crowd have shallow friendships and ultimately worthless conversation. They just don't have the time to becoem emotionally involved with ten+ folks and there is not enough time in the day to deal with all those folks.

    So be happy. Odds are even if you joined an anime club or used the xbox live deal that you still won't make friends easy. (if you could you wouldn't be here now asking for advice). Look to the people in your life now for companiaionship. Even if that person is your mom or sister or uncle. Sometimes what we need most is not a little bit of everything, but a whole lot of a just a few.

    And remember that the grass always looks greener on the other side. That is all.

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