Dear All,

Recently I broke up with my girlfriend of two years, part of which was long distance.
I doing know why I keep thinking about her and her moving on and being intimate with someone else while I don't even know where to start.
She is still in college and I graduated a while back, and I keep thinking that with my current work pattern and lifestyle it is very hard to meet anyone whereas on her end she is finishing her last year, going out, having a good time and will probably meet and hookup with someone and I am here repeating the same monotonous lifestyle.
I don't know why I keep thinking that oh she was beautiful and smart and all of that and that now as a woman with those qualities she will have a bunch of people seeking her attention.

I don't know why I do this, think of her going out or even sharing the same bed or someone else's bed and just that thought is terrifying me because I don't even see a pattern of opportunity on my end.

I don't know why these issues keep surfacing.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...go-514952.html

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I keep thinking that with my current work pattern and lifestyle it is very hard to meet anyone whereas on her end she is finishing her last year, going out, having a good time and will probably meet and hookup with someone and i am here repeating the same monotonous lifestyle.

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Rather than worry about what she could be doing, do more to focus on WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE. Monotonous though it may be, its up to you how you manage your time. Look guy I have worked all my life, and yes its hard to meet people but its very doable to MAKE time for what you enjoy, and makes you happy. Going back to the past is never the answer to what you can do today. Just think of it this way, every time you think of her, actually change your thoughts to what YOU could be doing, and make a plan to do it, and then make time to do it, and then do it.

You are as responsible for your own happiness, and if you want more from just your monotonous life than what you now have, GO GET IT. Then maybe your ex, and what she is doing won't haunt you and being familiar with your other posts its very obvious that this is not a long time ago break up with the ex. It just happened few months ago. It takes tie to heal, and it also depends how busy you get on your own behalf.

So the question really becomes, not what is she doing, but what have you done for yourself? Have you been building a life that you enjoy, with family, friends, or activities???? Sure she comes back into your thoughts when things slow down, activity wise, but that's but a signal to always have something that needs being attended to, even the most mundane task, (brushing your teeth, cleaning under the bed), no matter what it is.

Break the monotony, by changing the routine.

I understand Tal, It just I loved her a lot and right now am in that time of my life where I was looking at stettling down, and this was not something we had planned to get in the way. I will try and focus like you said on this

Sorry Tal I posted my response as a comment to your post

Don't apologize, we all are adjusting to the new "skin" on this site and its driving a lot of us a bit crazy. How do you like it just to ask??

Its okay, to be frank I preferred the old look.

You can change your skin settings, just go to where you logged in, and click on setting, and when the email box pops up, in the lower left corner, just click change back to the old style.

Much better the old school way.

Btw so her best friend called me yesterday to talk about her own issues and then she told me a little about my ex. She was like I don't know what she is doing and I know she is trying not to think about it but she will realize all the good things and I hope it won't be to late. I was like yeah thanks that means a lot coming from you, it really does, I don't know what the hell she is thinking either

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Originally Posted by Ithappenstoall

much better the old school way.

Btw so her best friend called me yesterday to talk about her own issues and then she told me a little about my ex...... i dont know what the hell she is thinking either

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You know its not good to get updates and you also know that what she's thinking is none of your business anymore.

So stop torturing yourself!! :p

Right, I know you re right I should ont try and get tabs on her now. I am already not going on fb, calling her, or anything. It had hurt too much when I had seen that she had hidden/removed some of our pics and comments as part of her trying to move on and not be sad or something. I am trying to puch forward without that in my head.

Did you break up with her? My own boyfriend of two years left me a month ago... The first year was long distance but he broke up with me and know is overseas partying it up and enjoying life. I have not heard from him since he left it's been three weeks... I tried the No contact and I am seriously struggling to move on but I have to obviously he doesn't care about me anymore. So if you broke up with her and haven't told her you regret your decision... she probably believes you no longer care and have moved on with your life. Tell her how you feel

Yes, but she initited it. I tried tal;king and resolving her issues but she seem convinced it would work due to many reasons, all I know is I can't tell her how I feel anymore and focus on myself now and move on... who knows what will happen, maybe shell regret maybe she won't..

Or maybe the next one will be better than the last one.

Maybe...

Well I guess just leave it and if its meant to be fate will bring her back if not... the person who is meant to be will be bought to you one day.. just believe in fate

Right, I guess it is good to have / keep thinking in fate

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; (others)the courage to change the things I can; (YOU) and the wisdom to know the difference." Reinhold Niebuhr

Wise word to live by. An excellent prayer to remind us the conflict is with ourselves, and our feelings, not with anything else, and certainly not the actions of others. Only WE can control our reactions to what life throws at us, and our actions we take because of reality.

Peace be with you.