Is this mother unfit, and how do we prove it?
My Boyfriend is married to a woman for 5 years, they have three young boys. She could not afford to buy the 6 year old son school clothes so we bought him some clothes for school. We picked up the boys in July after a trip to the fair with their mother and the 6 year old boy was wearing his school clothes, he told us mom doesn't have money for laundry soap and I have no other clean clothes so I had to wear my school clothes. He has also told us many times that her boyfriends are mean to him and sometimes hit him. In August she sent us a text message and said her boyfriend beat her up and she was on her way to the hospital. We had the three boys at the time so we weren't worried about their welfare at that point. She then came to pick up the children with the boyfriend that she accused of beating her up. The 6 year old boy missed 20 days of kindergarten with no good explanation. She has no job, no high school diploma or GED, but the youngest of their boys and her new baby get social security, even though the youngest of their boys has missed almost all of his doctors appointments. They are all suppose to be on medication that she rarely ever sends over. The oldest son told me yesterday he felt stressed out at his mom's because he has to take care of his younger brothers and do chores for his mother, and that he wanted to live with us. We talked to her about it and she said it will never happen. He has also been having some trouble in school with being bullied and he told his councilperson at school that he was ready to have a nervous break down and that taking care of his brothers was going to drive him to "drink beer", neither me or the father drink and we don't talk about anything of the sort in front of the children. The mother also had the boys calling their father by his first name and calling her boyfriend "daddy." She does not have a drivers license and relies on her "friends" to take the children to the hospital and doctors appointments. She has court appointed temporary full custody at this time, in our papers it states she is to bring the boys to us because she lives two and a half hours away. For the past year we have had to drive up their and pick up the boys because she has no means to bring them down. She is also a diagnosed manic depressive and resists drug therapy and counselling even though those were the conditions of the court for her to keep full custody. We are working on a dissolution at this time with shared parenting we don't think we have enough proof to get full custody of the boys, and we are afraid that she will back out of the shared parenting if we cannot prove her unfit. Can someone please let us know, do we stand a chance at proving her unfit?
Comment on ScottGem's post
They told us we would have to take her to court, they told us they can not tell us whether we had a case or not
Does this child need counselling?
My Boyfriends oldest son is 6 years old, he has been having some stress problems. He told his council person at school that he was so stressed out and about to have a nervous break down. He has three younger brothers and he told him that he has to take care of them at his mothers house and that they were going to drive him to "drink beer", He also told her that his mother does not want him and that he just doesn't know how much more he can take. He has told us how he has to give his brothers baths and do chores for his mother (dishes and laundry). We aren't sure if he is telling the truth or if he is just telling stories. His mother of course denies all of the accusations, but we can't believe anything she tells us. We aren't sure if maybe he needs to see a psychologist or if it is nothing to worry about. When he first comes to our house on weekends he seems depressed then after a few hours he goes back to his normal and seems very happy, he then goes back to being depressed when we go to take him back to his mothers house. His younger brothers are to the point where they sometimes call him dad. His mother says he never wants to leave the house anymore. Does he need council or maybe just moved to a more stable environment? We are not sure what attions to take at this point.