How do I convince my girlfriend it's a good idea to have a 3 sum with her best friend, me and her best friend are down we just have to bring it up with her. I am 23 and they are both 22.

HARSHNESS WARNING:

You can't convince her to do anything.

The fact that you and her friend are even discussing this behind her back shows lack of respect.

Let me ask you, how would YOU feel if your girlfriend and YOUR best friend were talking about having a threesome behind your back?

I bet not so good.

Look, if you want to have sex with her friend, then just be honest and tell your girlfriend. But don't use this threesome crap as leverage to sleep with her friend.

My goodness!

BAD idea.

VERY bad.

You are essentially plotting cheating on your girlfriend, because you're "down" with her best friend (who isn't any better, by the way) and you HAVE NOT EVEN DISCUSSED THIS WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

Let's see... how would you feel if your girlfriend were talking to YOUR best friend, and the two of them were "down" for having a threesome with you, but wanted to know how to convince YOU to do it.

I think you shouldn't even do this, and refuse to give you advice on it.

So if she wanted it with you and another male friend, you would have no trouble with that?

And you have talked in private to her friend about having sex together??

I think the point has been made that if you want to 1) keep your girlfriend and 2) have a threesome (or potentially any sex with her) you should start talking to her. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship and will do more to help or hurt any relationship.

Also a little note about 3somes, getting between 2 best friends is never a good idea (ok I actually didn't mean that as a pun, but oh well). The major issue that comes up is jealousy--between them, between you and GF, between you and the GF's BFF. Trust me, it gets confusing. Also, if you need to "convince" her... its already not going to end well, either she is "down" or she isn't... Sorry, wish I had better news... (please never hurts... lol)

Yeah... gotta spread the rep (with several different previous posters) so have to say this in a post of my own.

Take this from HER perspective... she wants to have a threesum with YOUR best friend... and she wants YOU TWO to participate on each other as she watches... as a start.


Bet that doesn't sound like such a great idea when you think of it from a different perspective... does it? WHy should SHE want to get it on with her friend any more than you would yours?


I've had a few threesomes in my life... however they were always instigated by the female... and the choice was theirs (FFM incidently)... I only had to say yes or no. I wasn't throwing together 2 people that never considered or wanted it... and there was no "Convincing" that needed to take place. I see a whole lot wrong with this situation... and nothing really right.

Ask her. Don't try to coerce her, it won't work. There is not easy way to say that I want to f**k both you and your best friend at the same time.

I know that a threesome with two girls is a man's ultimate fantasy. I know that it is painfully obvious that you're thinking with your **** and not your brain. You're young and naïve.

The things that your fore-brain knows that your hind brain is ignoring in this case is:
1) This is irrevocably change your relationship with your girl friend.
2). This is also destroy the relationship between your girlfriend and her best friend.
3). You will probably end up breaking up with your girlfriend and you probably won't get it on with your girlfriend's best friend.
4). It won't be as good as you think. The threesomes you've seen in the porn movies aren't real. They're paid to look like they want it. It won't live up to your expectations. You will be disappointed. Then you'll wonder if it was worth it. Probably not.

You should have talked about this with your girlfriend first before you started making plans. You should choose a woman you're not emotionally attached to so that you don't get AS many relational issues.

So in answer to your question, just ask her. You know the worst that will happen.

A personal note, stop thinking with your ****, I know you're young but that isn't an excuse. Man up and stay loyal to your GF, and if you don't want to be with her any more then break up with her.

Me and my wife I 21 she 23 bisexual we had a few 3sum she brought the idea up at first it was a shock but then I got use to it OK it was not with another man it was with a female but it still made me a but uneasy my advise would be the same as the rest of the room talk to her first and u need to have a strong relationship talk talk is the key word

You ask, politely, without trying to force the idea. And WITHOUT her friend. And its not a good idea to bring it up while the two of you are having sex together. Sit down with her, and explain that you were wondering if she would be open to a 3 some with another girl. If she seems open to the idea, ask her about her best friend.

I will have to warn you, she most likely will not take it lightly that you and her friend spoke about it before coming to her.

Some women are open to this. So simply ask her. If she is not, DO NOT push it. And make sure you keep those boundarys CLOSED with her best friend. If she says no, that means best friend is off limits too.


Please tell me, that this is simply a fantasy you wish to live with your lover. And not a way to be able to sleep with her best friend. If you want her best friend no matter what you have to do to get her, this is not going to end well. For anyone

Well, I'd stop talking about her behind her back for one thing...

Does she know that these discussions are going on?

That would end the thought process for me.

In order for ANY relationship to survive something like a threesome, you need 3 key things:

1. complete truth between ALL involved parties. That means you have to trust each other enough to KNOW that it won't change, or ruin, ANY of the relationships (romantic or friendly).

2. open, honest, and complete communication. All involved parties need to sit down and discuss when, where, and what will be allowed. Any potential problems will have to be addressed BEFOREHAND, and any unforeseen problems will need to be dealt with as SOON as they arise.

3. complete willingness. That means no one should need convinced, coerced, or otherwise talked into it. Having questions and concerns is fine (and only natural and to be expected). One party being against it and having the other parties talk them into it, is not OK. It will only lead the unwilling party to feel used, pressured, and resentful, ruining ALL the relationships.



Some guidelines I think should be followed:

1. make sure all involved parties have recent std test results, and use protection.

2. ideally, it should be the two people in the romantic relationship approaching the third party with the offer to join them.

3. use a neutral location, like a hotel. It'll make all parties feel more comfortable, and prevent anyone from feeling like an outsider (because of being in someone else's bed) and prevent potentially negative emotions from being associated with a personal bed or room.

4. decide beforehand if it's a one-time thing, or if it will be reoccurring, and STICK TO IT!

And I will add if it is to be three PARTICIPATING people or two with one watching.