I Frequently fearing being left or abandoned by loved one or friends I'm
Often imagining or believing that others are leaving, even when they are not I'm Having intense relationships with lots of conflict, also
Having frequent arguments with friends and loved ones
I'm Experiencing ups and downs in my relationship
Often feeling disappointment in or even hatred toward loved one
One moment I'm feeling okay about myself and then next feeling that I am a bad person feeling like I don't know who I really am as a person, or what I believe in I used to do drugs but I stopped three year ago I feel like hurting myself sometimes I only ever do if I get to the point I'm going to explod Feeling no emotions or feeling as if there is nothing inside me. Also I'm Feeling emotionally dead inside one min I happy the next I'm sad or the next thing I have to get out of my life

No don't think its bipolar disorder, what you are describing is much more complex verging on derangement as far as I can see. You need help of the highest order my dear. These feelings you have tell me you should not be around other people; you need some sort of counselling/intevention. I strongly suggest you have a good sit down with your doctor, explain what you have here and convince him that you need professional help.

Tick