Hey Guys... I really don't know whether asking freely on the web is trustable at all or helpful & applicable in real life... but I am asking because I cnt risk by sharing it with my friends really... what they'll do is just make fun of the matter... and considering that the girl I'm somewhat attracted to... is in the same class... I don't know what's going on with me but I can just write the story with the feelings I got... by the way I hate 1 factor about me that I'm too much attracted towards girls and get attracted towards avgly every 5th or 6th girl I come across... the only thing is that I'm attracted to her a little more... We have been in the same class for the last 4 years... but initially I nvr felt this way for her... actually we nvr were too much friendly with each other... from the last year we have been travelling in the same mode of transport back to our home... during our way back on home... others used to tease us of each other sometimes.. and as expected she always insulted me and I did in return... Still the feelings weren't too much but constantly listening to the taunts... and accompanied by my feelings something attracted me towards her... earlier this year she was sitting with 2 of my friends{boys) alongwith her friend... we used to tease her of being married to another friend of mine... obviously that luks like stupid enuf... soon when she used to make fun of me with the intention of somewhat insulting me a bit(I don't know she really meant that or not) I also started teasing her of that marriage thing... I again don't know if she used to get hurt a lot by those commments not only of mine but everyone else's too.. though it appeared that she did and I think that she developed more hatred for me... then I began to tease her openly {tho with not any intention of insulting but just being humorous) which I hink added to the problem.. then in the way back to home after the school... there were just all girls in the car's section I was sitting in... still we used to talk something like in THAT language.. crack jokes of those types.. She used to enjoy but accompanied with... how dirty you guys are... but she apparently enjoyed them as well.. so I think that added to the kind of distance she keeps from me as well.. what I always found about her attitude was that.. she mostly didn't talk to me correctly in front of everyone, however I noticed she being a bit open and polite(just a bit) while we were alone on our way bck to home... soon I came to know that she was in a relationship(about 4-6 months bck, she was discussing it with one girl and 2 boys. In the class itself.. I was sitting nearby so I was able to hear it) I exactly caught the thing when my friend who was she talking to stood up and said that she've even kissed with her boyfreind... I was still confused whether she was right for me or nt.. soon one day... I asked about her relationship on our way back to home when we wer alone in the car... she simply told me... I was showing to take it lightly and in fun and questioned her for name age and then started to make a bit of fun.. I started to believe it as I heard one long day back before(even before that classroom scene)... though I was in still doubt of her kissing or whatever because the person who said that gr8y manipulates things and try to be funny... so I couldn't believe him but I knew now that she is in a relationship... then I tried for about 3-4 months satisfy with myself that its just an attraction and I don't want to get into a loving thing or whatever ill first get my career priorities first.. as exams were on head, I was carried away... her case got buried in my mind a bit... then after 2 montsh of exam I again started feeling for her despite of her relationship... as usual she still used to insult me or tease watever and I started teasing her from her real boyfreind's name in even open places due to wich she got over angry... {i haven't teased her with that real case since she seriously shouted at me to not do that in front of everyone) I just got back to the old case{that created marriage of her w/ my freind).. yeh one thing.. when I asked her of her relationship.. that day I was in total fun mood.. and before leaving for home... my lower lip just moved or vibrated so I just kind of joked in the car that before leaving... my lower lip was vibrating thinking that we would be alone in the van(it was a pure joke from my side but I think that proved to be the biggest obstacle that added to the alrdy stretched conflict thing... since then I feel she is trying to not be in my prescence... every time I go stand nearby when someboy else (even boy ) is stnding, I don't know if she jokes or what or insults... she rudely says to the other boy or who ever is standing there.. "First make him run from here" exactly that happens... since my attraction grew longer in the past( I feel it to be much of physical one but in the recent past I feel something's that I don't know what exactly are) So I try to look at her whenver she isn't... soon she turns around almost in my direction and I turn my face intim turn or move it slightly but in time.. however while moving it away I feel something like she caught me for a second looking at or around her.. I don't know if that is exactly the case.. also I have noticed several boys to be irritating her by keeping there hand on his shoulder... teasing her through biological type of terms... simply in those ways.. due to which I feel internally like doing something about it as she also would be feeling awkward but I can't as they're like a gang.. if I go put my hands on one like 4 of them will come. And if I go the matter would go public and the lfie would be made hell for me and that girl in class 2... that is why I don't want to discuss it even with friends.. BUT while feeling the way for her like that I gt stopped by a feeling that she NVR aggresively states them not to touch her or tease or whatever (can be that those are really idiotic people thinking themselves to be the leaders of the class.. u cnt really do anythng against them... and she being a girl her life would be gr8ly affected if they start troubling her the double they re alrdy doing... but always one thing comes in my mind that even if I come to about 5 ft of her distance she like somewhat runs from me away or tell me to go away... bu nvr repells them... im always confused about that) now I want to admit that I'm physically adicted to her but I have no clue that these little feelings that I have are love all together and I won't to be sure about that if its love or not.. even if its love... the real problem arrives for me... does she too? Considering the fact.. that she is alrdy in a relationship.. she insults me(in a funny joking way nowadays and I return the favour sometimes as well :p).. Since I cnt ask her str8 as I don't want to risk her and mine lives in the class... and don't even want to be an evil in her sight.. and I neither want to be stuck like dumb in this issue forever... I don't know today I'm over excited about it... I just want to ask if its love or not and if it is what's the solution to the 2nd last and last problem.. and yes few more notes:
1. She doesn't have an Accnt on FB, even if she has its probably locked...
2. Im not so much handsome you c, a bit overweight I am.. though I'm of decent height so far according to the age... but am just abit overweight that I believe spoils the look
3. There are some very untrue talks about me spread in the class not now about 1 or 2 yrs ago... for teasing me like unhygenical type of things...
So I *** need an expert advice... I know I have written this too long but *** this is a very crucial matter for me..

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lk-303157.html

As I don't understand a word of this, I will have no reply until you seriously make it understandable!!

Illl surely do that as I need urgent help with it... though I tried to write complete english but I'm adicted to write short internet based english :)

Hey Guys... I really don't know whether asking freely on the web is trustable at all or helpful & applicable in real life... but I am asking because I can't risk by sharing it with my friends at all... what they'll do is just make fun of the matter... and considering that the girl I'm somewhat attracted to... is in the same class... I don't know what's going on with me but I can just write the story with the feelings I got... by the way I hate 1 factor about me that I get somewhat easily attracted to the girls... the only thing is that I'm attracted to her a little more...

We have been in the same class for the last 4 years... but initially I never felt this way for her... actually we were never too much friendly with each other... from the last year we have been travelling in the same Taxi back to our home... during our way back on home... others(people in the taxi) used to tease us of each other sometimes.. and as expected she always insulted me and I did in return as well... Still the feelings were not too much but constantly listening to the taunts... and accompanied by my feelings something attracted me towards her...

My classmates used to tease her of something very stupid and I did too... obviously that luks like stupid enough... soon when she used to make fun of me with the intention of somewhat insulting me a bit(I don't know she really meant that or not) I also started teasing her... I again don't know if she used to get hurt a lot by those commments not only of mine but everyone else's too.. though it appeared that she did and I think that she developed more hatred for me... then I began to tease her openly {though with not any intention of insulting but just being humorous) which I hink added to the problem.. then in the way back to home after the school... we used to non veg jokes a lot.. She used to enjoy but accompanied with... how dirty you guys are... but she apparently enjoyed them as well.. so I think that added to the kind of distance she keeps from me as well..

What I always found about her attitude was that.. she mostly did not talk to me correctly in front of everyone, however I noticed she being a bit open and polite(just a bit) while we were alone on our way bck to home... soon I came to know that she was in a relationship(about 4-6 months back, she was discussing it with one girl and 2 boys. In the class itself.. I was sitting nearby so I was able to hear it) I exactly caught the thing when my friend who was she talking to stood up and said that she've even kissed with her boyfreind... I was still confused whether she was right for me or not.. soon one day... I asked about her relationship on our way back to home when we wer alone in the taxi... she simply told me...

I was showing to take it lightly and in fun and questioned her for the name & age of her boyfriend and then started to make a bit of fun.. I started to believe it as I heard one long day back before(even before that classroom scene)... though I was in still doubt of her kissing or whatever because the person who said that, greatly manipulates things and try to be funny... so I could not believe him but I knew now that she is in a relationship...

Then I tried for about 3-4 months satisfy with myself that its just an attraction and I don't want to get into a loving relationship or whatever I'll first get my career priorities first.. as exams were on head, I was carried away... her case got buried in my mind a bit... then after 2 montsh of exam I again started feeling for her despite of her relationship... as usual she still used to insult me or tease whatever and I started teasing her from her real boyfreind's name in even open places due to which she got angry with me... {i haven't teased her with that real case since she seriously shouted at me to not do that in front of everyone) I just got back to the old teasing... yeh one thing.. when I asked her of her relationship.. that day I was in total fun mood.. and before leaving for home... my lower lip just moved or vibrated so I just kind of joked in the taxi that "before leaving... my lower lip was vibrating thinking tht we wud b alone in the van"(it was a pure joke from my side but I think that proved to be the biggest obstacle that added to the alrdy stretched conflict thing...

Since then I feel she is trying to not be in my prescence)... every time I go stand nearby, she either herself runs from me or tells me to go away, I don't know if she jokes or what or insults... exactly that happens... since my attraction grew longer in the past( I feel it to be much of physical one but in the recent past I feel something's that I don't know what exactly are) So I try to look at her whenever she isn't looking at me... every time she turns around... she almost cathces me glancing at her or so do I feel because I get a glimpse of her face luking at me while turning mine away.. also I have noticed several boys to be irritating her by keeping their hand on his shoulder... teasing her through biological type of terms... simply in those ways.. due to which I feel internally like doing something about it as she also would be feeling awkward but I can't as they're like a gang.. if I go put my hands on one like 4 of them will come. And if I even dare and go, the matter would go public and the life would be made hell for me and that girl in the class... that is why I don't want to discuss it even with friends..

BUT while feeling the way for her like that I get stopped by a feeling that she NEVER aggresively states them(boys who irritate her) not to touch her or tease or whatever (can be that those are really idiotic people thinking themselves to be the leaders of the class.. u can't really do anythng against them... and she being a girl, her life would be greatly affected if they start troubling her the double they are already doing... but always one thing comes in my mind that even if I come to about 5 ft of her distance she like somewhat runs from me away or tell me to go away... but nvr repells them... im always confused about that) now I want to admit that I'm physically adicted to her but I have no clue that these little feelings that I have are love all together and I want to be sure about that if its love or not.. even if its love... the real problem arrives for me... does she too?

Considering the fact.. that she is already in a relationship.. she insults me(in a funny joking way nowadays and I return the favour sometimes as well ).. Since I can't ask her straight away as I don't want to risk her and my lives in the class... and don't even want to be an evil in her sight.. and I neither want to be stuck like dumb in this issue forever... I don't know why today I'm over excited about it... I just want to ask if its love or not and if it is what's the solution to the 2nd last and last problem..

And yes few more notes:
1. She doesn't have an Account on FaceBook. even if she has its probably locked... If she had, I could have tried msging her lol but no luck!
2. I'm a bit overweight I am.. though I'm of decent height so far according to the age... but am just a bit overweight.
3. There are some rumours spread about me in the class, not now but they were spread long ago... for teasing me like unhygenical type of things... so that always can act as a factor... but I don't know I'm not any expert.
So I need an expert advice... I know I have written this too long but this is a very crucial matter for me.. so plzz help

I'm sorry, but that is still really hard to read. It's just one huge block of text with lots of "..." are you able to break it down into complete sentences and some paragraphs? We give better advice when we don't have to work so hard to figure out what we're giving advice on :)

Paragraphs would be very helpful. :)

The one fact I can pull out of all that is she has a boyfriend. That one fact makes her unavailable and off-limits.

You sounds like a young man who has made some poor choices in behavior, but you know that (she sounds like she has made those same bad decisions so don't put all the blame on yourself for misunderstandings) and I think you know it is best for you to leave her alone for awhile. She has made that perfectly clear.

She has to decide when she has had enough of the other males' behavior and tells them to leave her alone or talks to the proper authorities. You should not try to set yourself up to rescue her. Not because their 'popularity', but because she needs to be able to handle her own problems. It's part of growing up.

After awhile when she has calmed down or if you are alone, you might try apologizing for past behavior. Then drop it and leave her alone unless she apologizes for her behavior and you think you can be friends with her without wanting more.

Think about this, if you have blinders on that only allow you to see this one girl, you might be missing out on several others who don't care about past rumors and who may be waiting for you to notice them.

If you are concerned about your weight, do you eat properly and stay active? If you feel good about yourself, it will go a long way toward helping others see you in a more positive light.

How old are you??

Lol I am just 15 and I was in a type of hurry because we might not see each other ever again.. because its almost our class Xth ending and then will be re- admissions to class XIth so I just wanted to you know, let my feelings to her, and I am ready to accept the denial, just what I worry about is that she would hate me for it. Right now I prepared my mind that whenever in the next 1 month ( that is ol I have got), I will simply tell her all things and will also add that even if she denies, I still want to normally co-exist. But will I be right upon doing that? And I have seriously no update on her relationship so I'm partly screwed :p, and as exams are overhead I myself don't want to indulge in such things but actually I'm being driven into them for the last 2 days. I don't want to get her mind out of focus for exams as well. So *** advice. And I hink I can certainly appologise for the taunts.. not even w/o asking her for it. Im really good making up stories. I wll just let out the apology in the next month itself or before.

I will certainly appologise in next month or before and ask for being friends.. that way I can possible ask for her no. or something eventually. However when I woke up today I just made my mind for letting her know all the feelings I have as soon as we get some time alone.. either in school or on our way back to home BUT ALONE only. I believe I am ready to accept a decline but the thing I worry about is that She would hate me even more, the only thing I want is that even if she can't accept my proposal, we can co-exist normally. I simply don't want to create some distance based on the fact of my proposal. So *** help. As well as were in Class Xth and only got about 1 month before our exams start up, and I am in doubt if we will meet ever again.

Since there are readmissions in Class XIth, that is why I want to hurry things up but I think that the apology way works too. If I was to tell her my feelings.. I would have also added all the things like somewhat of apology, good feelings, bad feelings, and also that what I ask of her if she denies. So *** help. This time I have even written very slowly and in paragraphs, though only 2 :p

She is in a relationship - off limits, back off.
If you want her to like you, be nice to her

I respect your answer and her relationship.. proabably that is why I haven't been up to her yet.. but even if I wnt to back off from her thoughts.. I will try very hard but I think her thoughts would still come to my mind. I want to feel a bit lighter than what I am feeling right now.

How about just apologizing for being a boob, and letting all the other feelings go unsaid.

While I understand where you are at in your young life, confessing all your feelings at this time would not be appropriate. There is no need to make this a bigger issue in your mind before you know how she receives your apology,

Go slow sir, and wait and see what happens. Don't let your feelings and over thinking things, make you rush to do things that make even more problems later, for you and her.

Always think before you act. Sometimes you have to think twice, and consider facts you already know, and not just how YOU may feel, because HER feelings, and thoughts, are unknown to you. You can't just assume what someone is thinking, or feeling.

Threads merged and edited.


Hey there everyone, the problem with me is now that I did share the concern of my liking of that girl to my friend. He told me that as far as he knows, she has broken up but he also added that most people in class feel that I am bit lacking in personal hygiene( even that girl) so he told me that I first need to get a bit slim, and improve myself and strengthen friendship with that girl.

Now here the real thing comes, earlier I was being killed by the fact that she was in a relationship bu now she is not but as well as what I knew would act as a factor was she feeling those bad things about me as well. Actually some white thing collects over my eye most of the times... and my friends tease me of not bathing like things.. and one year back, I didn't use to cut my nose hair and throughout that last year, I was teased, I didn't feel any of these thing's impact until now, although I am regularly cutting out my facial and nose hair for last 1 year.

But now I am going to talk of her present behavior. Now I find that while we are in class we don't have much interactions, but what I have noticed and feel is that she talks to me quite politely now in the taxi{on our way back from home} plus she laughs with me and don't show any signs of annoyance. But as my friend said that she will decline being with me and I feel that too. But from the replies to my last answer, I have decided that I am going to apologies to her only in this year and try to be better with her and show a more friendly attitude. If we are luckily in the same school after July in XIth Standard. Then we will be surely together for 2 more years and by then ill try my best to get fit and appear more hygienic.

I'm thinking that I make our current situation a bit more soft and then hit it the hard way in next 2 years if lucky. The only thing I don't want to ask her now is because I somewhat feel that if I will ask now, she will get more irritated and will probably hate me more. My thing is that if it is impossible to win her love, I don't want to threaten the situation where she at least talks to me and I don't know what but today, most of the time, I was tensed about this situation.. but on our way back to home, She was talking to me & laughing with me. I don't know why I felt this much cheerful, even I was happy from inside and laughing. When I returned to home, for at least 45 minutes I had smile on my face and my heart was cheered up and body too but... after 1 hrs I am now feeling the same loneliness I did 2 days back when I started feeling this thing bigger than ever. *** Help.. she does talk to me and laughs with me but I am not sure that is somewhat even friendship.

If it is friendship then I don't mind if my apology gets delayed, I like when she talks to me and crack jokes on me or even when she laughs with me. So how do I make sure that this is friendship indeed and not something just like classmates or what. I don't care if it's a friendship on lower level so far... it should be it because improving the already made friendship is I believe somewhat easier but if I come to know that I'm not his friend than how do I ask her for it?


Add. Info :Were both the same age{in Class Xth}, Age 15.
Please help guys I found you guys useful the first time please keep up my expectations this time too and also I am not able to concentrate on things.. sometimes of happy moments and sometimes of loneliness. :( please help and advice as to how should I take this issue. And moreover I have never felt like this for anyone else before in my life. Not even this loneliness, not one like this and being happy for the only time when she was around and talking to me.. As well as my Class Xth exams are really important and coming in just 1 month time and a few days to add to it so I need some advices as to how I can keep this matter very good in my mind and also don't get distracted when I'm doing important things like studies. Please help :)

Let me try and help you through your growing pains.

Get on your hygiene and grooming concerns together right now. Not just to impress one person, but to get you in the habit of putting your best foot forward for ALL people. You are 15, just getting the puberty thing going, and learning not just your body changing, but your mind also. That's the hardest adjustment as getting into the routine of bathing everyday, and trimming your hairs is an easy habit to get into. Now dealing with new emerging feelings is quite another matter. Especially the females that you interact with, because they are going through the same thing as you are. Many are far advanced than you are in the area of dealing with feelings that are new to them.

Sure you have an attraction to a particular female, and like most teens you think those strong feelings of attraction are love, and you are really over powered in your thinking with thoughts of her. Truth be told, you would feel the same with many females you come in contact with, and interact with, on a social level. That's so normal for all us humans. Also be aware that as your view of yourself, and others changes, so do your feelings about your world. As this is the learning time for teens, not just with education, and books, but in social skills like how to act in public.

With that said, back to he girl. The object and focal point of your new feelings you have never felt before. They are normal, but the important thing to remember is not to let your new feelings distract you from being focus on other things around you that you must pay attention too. Consider this your first test in young humanity, and you will learn because you may have strong feelings and high hopes for a female, they may be friendly, and feed that high hope, and they may even like you and that feeds the high hope, BUT none of those things mean they feel about YOU, as you feel about THEM. And that's what I mean about not being distracted, or carried away by your own intense feelings.

She has her own to deal with, and may not include you. Human feelings and emotions are never consistent, or go by simple rules, so forget the plans to win her heart. That's a fallacy written in folklore and romance novels. Trust me its not that simple.

This may sound strange and hard to understand, but focusing on your social skills, like being a good guy who has a good personality and interacts with others around him with confidence and good nature will attract the attentions you want quicker and better than any plot, plan, or fantasy that focuses on just one. Being part of a bigger picture, and having friends who care for you as a person will do as much as bathing and keping your nose hair trimmed.

That what people react to, your people skills, and how you carry yourself, how you present yourself, and represent yourself to others, whether in your comfortable group, or not. So your key is to not focus on JUST her, but on all you come in contact with guys, and girls, whether the attraction for them is intense or not.

Now for the big secret, so pay attention, your life will be defined by how you handle yourself, and deal with your own feelings, not by whether you get the girl you are crushing on, or infatuated with. She may have her own intense feeling for someone else so do you just go crying into your closet because your feelings are hurt? Hell NO, you deal with the bad of life, as you do the good, with self confidence and dignity, and self respect. Thats the secret buddy, As long as you have the self confidence, dignity and self respect, you can deal with all that life throws at you. Not only with rejection, hurt and disappointment, but in eager joy, love, and commitments.

That's where you are right now, with your new feelings and emerging thoughts, learning how to best cope with your growing pains. Sorry I couldn't give you a road map of how to get the girl, there are many trips and traps that seldom work. Everyone has a method or procedure for what they think will work for you. Trust me, self confidence, dignity, and self respect may not get her to do as you want, but you will be a good partner to someone that wants what you want, but you will kiss many frogs before you meet them. She is only the first one in a line of many to come, so do not get carried away by thoughts and feelings of just her and getting just her, that's moronic, and very narrow when more important things need your attention NOW, like your exams, as there will be plenty of time for fun and pleasure, AFTER you have taken care of what's important, and a higher priority than just your feelings for a female who is one of many. Pay attention, and focus on those other things as you bath every day, and learn to shave regularly.

Well, by receiving all the replies I have found yet, I have reached on a decision that I should not hurry because I feel that I need to first be friends with her if not being together at a higher level. At least I can ask for her friendship.

Actually, I was thinking that I would lend out an apology first(thinking to make it as much normal as I can), and ask for being friends... if we aren't but how do I make sure that if we are really friends already or not even not too close but a litle

You don't ask for friendship (At least I have never asked), you let it develop on its own through friendly actions and events. Trying to force someone to be a friend, or asking for friendship so you can get more, is deceptive and dishonest, and not very friendly at all. Stop focusing on what you want from her young fellow, so you can see a bigger picture.

You are not paying close attention, and you will find that think with your heart (feelings), and not with your head (logical brain), will lead you down a real rocky road, because you have not one time thought of what she may be feeling, or going through, so you have not interacted on the level of even knowing what she is about. Only what you see and feel. There are more people in the world besides her you know. So forget the plots and plans, and just be a friend, by being friendly, and considerate. Like the way you want to be treated.

It's a process not an event, so just be natural. Don't waste your time with planning how to act, learn to act by just doing.

Ill certainly now let it go like this... and does this also means that I act my natural way with her.. I mean no applogies for past or anything... but just let it continue... the way it is... well I certainly know were not enemies type of things..

At least I feel so but I really don't know if she speaks on my back. Well to be true, I know I may look like stupid overreacting to this. But my mind said that if I just try to be friend with her{considering that I don't know if she considers me one)..

And I tell you honestly when I made my mind up for friendship, I seriously didn't care about anyting in future, whether on or off. I just thot to be a good friend you know... and I am truthful about that last stament...

The thing is that I can certainly obtain her no. from various of my close friends who are inturn close to her. But I haven't approved that method myself even. I decided that if SHE gives it, only then I will feel that I didn't cheat, even in friendship

Quote:

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I decided that if SHE gives it, only then I will feel that I didn't cheat, even in friendship

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And if she doesn't?? Actually this last sentence makes no sense what so ever, as there can be no cheating with out agreement. Keep it simple, apologize for being a young insensitive, immature boob. Leave it at that.

I think I can appologise but for that I need to be alone with her.. I don't want it to be an open scene... I can at least gather enough courage fr sying sorry :)
Anyhow I am not going to ask for the no. directly, even I have a bit xperience in life.

But what does boob mean?

M not anything like that :P