My ex husband has remarried. We have a 10yr. Old child. His new wife hates me and has done some really unbelivably cruel things to me which are far too many to mention. We divorced in 2006 and he remarried in 2007. At this point we have joint custody but now he is trying to make it where I see my child less then 1/2 time so that I will have to pay him child support. He has a laywer. I do not. I am planning on getting one even though I really cannot afford it but I love my child more then anything. I am the biological mother but the man that has rasied our child is NOT the biological father. Unfortunately, he doesn't know this and I was praying I would never have to tell him. But... he and his new wife have threatened, mistreated, hurt and belittled me for the last 3 yrs. And I am done taking it. I have no issues against me such as drugs, alcohol, etc... My question is this, if he continues to try and get more then 1/2 custody does the fact that he isn't the biological father matter and does that give me any more rights above him. We are in the state of Kentucky and he has rasied her since she was born. As I said, she is 10 now. Her real father does not have any interest in being in her life. I hope I don't have to do this because I don't want to hurt my child. She loves us both butit may be my only choice is my ex refuses to quit threateneing me. I would apprecaite ANY advice or info on where I could call for more info or help. Thank you sooooo much!

Where you married to him when the child was born ?

Is he on the birth certificate?

What type of relationship does he have with the child. What would taking the child's father away form them do to the child.

HI
Thank you for your answer. ( PLease excuse all the misspellings! It is late and there is not spell check. Sorry! :)1. yes I was married to him when she was born. 2. He is on the birth certificate. 3. He has a great relationship with our daughter and loves her very much. The exception is that his new wife does not have a good relationship w/ her. I do not think there is any abuse going on but my daughter says she treats her bad, especially when her dad isn't around. I do not want to take my daughter away from him at all. I am trying to avoid this info even coming out. All I want is equal time with her. She used to live with me 1 week and him 1 week. Sat. to Sat. Then when he remarried my daughter started acting up in school and my ex asked me if we could try having her live with them, just so she'd go to bed and get up in the same place and maybe that would help her behavior. Also there are 2 people at his house and maybe that would help too. He swore he wasn't trying to take her away from me. I am not married. I reluctantly agreed and he had me sign a letter from his laywer that we'd re-evaluate her behavior during Xmas break. That was 2 years ago. He had a laywer and I stupidly did not. ( Before he remarried he and I got along great) I trusted him totally. Well, now he is saying that we will re-evaluate the living conditions when he has time and bascially he just keep putting me off. I have no family to help me out so I just couldn't afford a laywer. Looks as if I am going to have to some how find one.

The main reason I'm asking this question is because I want to stop him from forcing me to pay child support. It is $480.00 a month and then on top he wants me to pay for past medical bills so all this comes to about $7oo.oo a month. I am a teacher and I just cannot pay that much. Also, he only has our daughter a little bit more then I do. He has her M W and every other weekend and I have T Th and every other week end. Its just that I take her home at bed time on T and TH. It isn't a big difference. I know its his wifepushing this so that they can get money out of me. I am willing to pay monthly for back medical bills wchich comes to about $1500.00 total. I can pay about $200.00 a month. The reason I want to know about his rights is because basically I want to use it to try and make him stop this crazy money grubbing. I know that sounds cruel and mean but I do not know what else to do. As awful as it sounds I guess I am trying to use it as a threat. I cannot pay all that money to him. I hoped by telling him this he might back off and let the child support go. As I said, I'll pay for the past med. Bills and we can come to an agreement on that. I love my daughtermore then anything and Ido not want her to find out. If he backs off I will tell him I won't say anything to our daughter. To tell you the truth, even if he does continue with this quest I probably won't tell my daughter anyway. It'd break her heart and I would not want to do that. If you have ANY suggestions for me I'd be grateful. Thanks for you time.

406.011 Obligations of father -- Presumption of paternity.
The father of a child which is or may be born out of wedlock is liable to the same extent as the father of a child born in wedlock, whether the child is born alive, for the reasonable expense of the mother's pregnancy and confinement and for the education, necessary support and funeral expenses of the child. A child born during lawful wedlock, or within ten (10) months thereafter, is presumed to be the child of the husband and wife. However, a child born out of wedlock includes a child born to a married woman by a man other than her husband where evidence shows that the marital relationship between the husband and wife ceased ten (10) months prior to the birth of the child.


Ky Supreme Court
HINSHAW (NOW LENARZ) V. HINSHAW
FAMILY LAW: EQUITABLE AVOIDANCE AND PATERNITY
2006-SC-000729
Synopsis
Mom appealed CA’s opinion affirming TC’s order awarding joint custody of child to parents and primary residence to Dad, claiming that TC erred when it failed to resolve Dad’s custody rights based on DNA evidence indicating he was not biological father, and by applying equitable estoppel in its custody determination.

FACTS:
Mom gave birth to child during marriage of parties. At birth, Dad was in the delivery room, cut umbilical cord, and was named on birth certificate. Dad was led to believe that he was biological father to child, and was deeply involved in Child’s life as his father. Three and a half years later, Mom filed for divorce, and then amended her petition, alleging for the first time that Dad was not Child’s biological father and seeking court-ordered DNA testing to prove her claim. DNA evidence established that Dad was not Child’s biological father. TC appointed a custodial evaluator, who determined that the severance of Dad’s and Child’s relationship would result in severe emotional and psychological harm to Child. TC found that Mom was equitably estopped from challenging Dad’s custody rights based on DNA testing, that DNA test was irrelevant to issue of custody, and awarded joint custody to the parties with primary residence to be with Dad. CA affirmed TC on appeal.

ARGUMENTS AND ANALYSIS:
Mom argued that DNA tests rebutted the presumption of paternity in KRS 406.011 and thus triggered the application of KRS 406.111, requiring a resolution of paternity. Mom further argued that equitable estoppel cannot be applied in custody cases and that even if applied, Dad failed to establish the necessary elements of equitable estoppel.

“A party asserting equitable estoppel must show the following elements: (1) Conduct, including acts, language and silence, amounting to a representation or concealment of material facts; (2) the estopped party is aware of these facts; (3) these facts are unknown to the other party; (4) the estopped party must act with the intention or expectation his conduct will be acted upon; and (5) the other party in fact relied on this conduct to his detriment.” SC found that all these requirements were met in this case, as Mom’s acts, language and silence were all aimed at misleading Dad into believing he was Child’s father and at developing the father-son relationship. Though Mom argued that Dad failed to show reliance and conduct to his detriment, pointing to the fact that Dad had testified that he would not have done anything differently in his relationship with Child, SC disagreed. SC noted that Dad’s willingness to continue his relationship with Child had he known the truth is not the same as saying he would have taken no action at all. Mom’s failure to inform Dad of Child’s paternity denied Dad the opportunity to seek legal advice as to the relationship with Child and his rights and obligations with regard to Mom and Biological Father. SC noted that it followed other jurisdictions in its determination that equitable estoppel could be applied in custody cases, and that KY CA had applied the common law principle of equitable estoppel in S.R.D. v. T.L.B. 174 S.W.3d 502 (Ky. App. 2005).
SC held that Mom, having encouraged Father/Son relationship between Dad and Child, could not now deny it, and that under the unique circumstances of the case, “equitable estoppel precludes [Mom] from challenging [Dad’s] status as [Child’s] father, a status she created and accepted.”

Thus the Kentucky Supreme Court has ruled that people who deceive their spouses into thinking that a child is theirs cannot later contest their right to custody -- even if DNA tests show they are not the parent.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jdjc65

The main reason I'm asking this question is because I want to stop him from forcing me to pay child support... The reason I want to know about his rights is becasue basically I want to use it to try and make him stop this crazy money grubbing. I know that sounds cruel and mean but I do not know what else to do. As awful as it sounds I guess I am trying to use it as a threat...I do not want her to find out. If he backs off I will tell him I won't say anything to our daughter. To tell you the truth, even if he does continue with this quest I probably won't tell my daughter anyway. it'd break her heart and I would not want to do that.

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?? :confused::confused:
I am speechless.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by jdjc65

I love my daughtermore then anything and Ido not want her to find out. If he backs off I will tell him I won't say anything to our daughter. To tell you the truth, even if he does continue with this quest I probably won't tell my daughter anyway. it'd break her heart and I would not want to do that. If you have ANY suggestions for me I'd be grateful. Thanks for you time.

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Your daughter WILL find out eventually. But using this as a threat against the father is empty. Based on the info GV supplied, it will not matter in any custody proceeding. Your ex is the legal father and, after 10 years, no KY court is likely to change that.