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-   -   My Mother and I just can't seem to get along... What do I do to stop this problem? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=543714)

  • Jan 13, 2011, 02:08 PM
    Akeya95
    My Mother and I just can't seem to get along... What do I do to stop this problem?
    Im 15 about to turn 16 and my mother treats me like I'm retarded. She screams and yells at me and tells me Im stupid. She hits me and I try not to fight back but its hard when you have someone constantly in your face telling you that you're dumb and gone be a stupid girl. It hurts a lot and I don't think she relizes it. I don't know what to do. When I try to talk to her about it she just turns it all on me and tells me that Im being the victim and Im not. I cry so much because of her and she acts as if Im going to mess up and end up with a baby and Im not doing things like that. Im not even sexaully active, the only thing I have done was kiss my boyfriend.
    But can someone help me I really need someone to talk to or some advise so please.
  • Jan 17, 2011, 04:05 PM
    peterbranton
    Ok I can see you really need help, first thing you're a good girl and well done for being as you are even though your mother doent believe you don't fall into the trap of just doing bad things to rebel against your mother.

    You need to understand that it is your mother that has a problem not you! you are going to have to treat her yourself, its OK I will help you. I will give you some immediate advise but if you can answer some questions for me I can help you and your mother more.

    The violence has to stop immediately don't be afraid think clearly phone the police its OK it seems drastic but it will bring it to a head in the sense of she has to stop the violence imeiatly so therefore no longer being an option do you understand ? The police will not proicute her unless you wish it even if you call them a 1000 times they will do nothing execpt stop her at that time OK so don't worry.

    Can you tell me more about your history and your familys history as in mum dad etc, can you please also tell me of any human behaviour that stands out either before or after when she is like this? And is there any reason why she should be thinking like this?

    Don't worry your not in the wrong and your not alone people can and will help you.
  • Jan 17, 2011, 11:06 PM
    Jake2008
    Akeya, you are a minor, and it is a serious matter when you are being abused. No adult under any circumstances can take their anger out on a child physically.

    There are many things you can do. One is to speak to a school counsellor and tell her exactly what you have said here. Provide as much detail as you can so she has a clear picture of what you are dealing with.

    If you have a father in the picture, and he is not living in the home but you have contact with him, arrange to meet him and discuss this with him.

    You could speak to your boyfriends mother, an aunt, a trusted neighbour, a grandparent, a friend of the family, a clergy person, a kids help phone, the CPS, your family Doctor, a teacher that you know. You could talk to any number of people who would help you.

    As long as you do not take action, and this fighting continues without anyone knowing what is going on, nothing will improve.

    You asked how to stop the problem, and the only answer is, you need to take that first step to get help.
  • Nov 8, 2012, 10:54 PM
    laureybear
    Heythere.

    I'm honestly in the same situation as you. I'm sixteen and my mother and I don't get along and there's nothing you can do. I understand the screaming, the yelling the "you're wrong part" when you try and explain. I've been in deep depression and close suicide because of it. My advice is stay strong, try not to push her buttons and stay out of her way. Maybe when she's out at work, unload the dishwasher for her at least you can say you're making an effort. I reckon go counselor about it like at school, just open up & tell them how you're feeling. My mother once said, "I hope you keeped your underwear on, when I came home from a girlfriends sleep over" It's honestly hell. I've been though it & still going through it. :/ Just stay strong, speak to friends about it, if you're crying go to a close friend, they'll always be there for you. Just stay out of her way, and try help out. The first few months from now, are going to be hell :/ but there will be light at the end of the tunnel, promise. I'm here for stranger, I've been through the same thing& still going through it. <3 If you ever need someone to speak too, I'm right here, just email me - [email protected]

    You can get through this <3

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