OK so me and my girlfriend have been together for about 6 weeks and so early days! Before we met she was with a guy who she dumped, but a few months later she was meeting up with me him 'because she was lonely' having just moved to uni and slept with him a few times (even though he has a girlfriend). This apparently kept happening until a few weeks before we met.

When we started dating he kept sending her texts and e-mails, she was honest about this and eventually agreed that I could send him an e-mail to say back off. I wasn't aggressive (im not like that), I just said that I'm her boyfriend and would appreciate it if he didn't send her texts at 2am in the morning especially as he has a girlfriend, so he backed off.

Because I am a christian and she is a hindu her parents can't know about me, and so over xmas we hardly spoke and its been really hard.

She then one day said to me that her friend (male) might come up and stay but will share her bed, because where else can he go? I was very upset and said no, a) because I feel its inapproprioate because of my belief and b) because I'm her boyfriend and its not right for her to be sharing beds with other blokes even if tey are "friends". She has always shrugged this off and changed the subject, leaving me to think she will probably do it anyway?? Im still getting to know her so don't know what she's like?

I sent her an e-mail today explaining exactly how I feel abou it all, and the fact that its hard for me (as I don't live near her we only get to see each other one night a week) she told me that she will read it tomoz night as she has exam tomoz. I asked her if she is on Facebook and she said no, said that it shows her as online all the time even if she is not? So she said she has not read the e-mail. She gave me her password a while ago so I could look at some of her photos, because they weren't showing up on my profile (which made me slightly suspicious, has she put me on limited profile? ) So I logged on (which I know is breaching her privacy) but too see that she had read it and saw she had been e-mailing some blokes and had deleted most of the conversation, apart from the last message received.

I said let me know when you have read it by text, she texts me saying she has just read it although, she now appears as offline?? I asked just this second she says yes.

Apart from this, I asked if I could come out with her and her friends on her birthday and she said no because its 'just a girls night', but I'm actually worried that she is saying that because a 'male friend' is going to be coming up to stay she doesn't want me to know about?

Am I being stupid and paranoid or is something going on? Some things just don't seem to add up, and having been hurt so much in the past I really really don't want it to happen again!

What do I do? I don't want to confront her until I know for sure?

No, you don't sound stupid or paranoid to me. Yr 6 week old g/f sounds like issues to me :o/ The writing is always on the wall; you decide what you do with all the red flags glearing you in the face.

Things may change down the line, however how much of this do you stomach until she is ready to focus on you?

Wow man, there are toooooo many red flags with this chick.

It's simple, your looking for a monogamous relationship, she isn't, even if she says differently. Her actions are doing the real speaking.

How did you meet this chick?

It sounds like your not compatible, and she might not be trustworthy, if there are already these types of trust issues.

If I were in your shoes, I would check out and find a new girl who was willing to put the same effort back into the relationship.

Why you expect a stranger of only 6 weeks to to act like a prim and proper girl friend, by your standards is no less well beyond me. She is a stranger who you know NOTHING about, yet you give her your heart without knowing if she deserves it, or even knows what to do with it. You are asking for trouble in my opinion.

Get out of this one really fast, and take your time and make some better choices in how, and who you start a romance with.

Quote:

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Before we met she was with a guy who she dumped, but a few months later she was meeting up with me him 'because she was lonely' having just moved to uni and slept with him a few times (even though he has a girlfriend). This apparently kept happening until a few weeks before we met.

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This fact alone would have made me cautious, and wary. You better read these rules and obey them, saves a lot of unnecessary pain.

Talaniman Rule- Never ever mess with any one who has just dumped their partner

Talaniman Rule- Stay away from any one that has an ex involved in their lives.

Talaniman Rules- Run, don't walk, away from any romance in the place that you are employed.

Talaniman Rules-Never assume that your feelings are shared by any one else.

Talaniman Rule - Never ever get to close to a person that has a committed partner in their lives.

Talaniman Rule- never be in a hurry to give your heart to a stranger. Wait until they have proven they deserve it, and know what to do with it.

Talaniman Rule- Doesn't matter how intense the feelings, or how much fun you have, never give your heart to someone you don't know well, and that’s only after the lust has worn off for you both.

Talaniman Rule- If one person isn't available, there are millions that are. Don't get stuck on one who is BUSY with other things.

Talaniman Rule - Don't miss other opportunities and options because your stuck on someone who is not as stuck on you, that’s just plain crazy.

Talaniman Rule- Don't play games with your heart, and don't let somebody else play games with it either.

Talaniman Rule-Love yourself enough to never allow any one to treat you badly. If they do, LEAVE.

Talaniman Rule- When you see a brick wall, don't go head first into it, and expect to get on the other side.

Talaniman Rule-Love yourself enough to never allow any one to treat you badly. If they do, LEAVE.

Talaniman Rule- When you see a brick wall, don't go head first into it, and expect to get on the other side.

Talaniman Rule-Never put all your eggs in a stranger’s basket. Save some for your own basket.

Talaniman Rule-if they don't like you, forget 'em.

Talaniman Rule- Give yourself 6 months of dating and getting to know someone, before you decide together to be DATING EXCLUSIVELY, and having fun getting to know each other.


You have already broken them all, and you better regroup. The best thing to do is remove yourself from this situation.

I think it's safe to say that she's not as serious about this relationship as you are.

If she can't give you what you're looking for, then you're better of going your separate ways. You can't force the issue to make it happen.

You laid it on pretty thick, pretty fast and pushed her away as a result.

Learn from this one and try your best not to repeat it on the next girl.

I'd like to add this to Talaniman's list:

* Never make someone your Priority, while you are just their option!

Good Luck and God Bless.