Looking for different views on Taken In Hand relationships.
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Looking for different views on Taken In Hand relationships.
Huh? Taken in hand relationships?
Joe according to answers.com
Taken in Hand (sometimes referred to as TiH) in terms of sexual human relationships refers to a monogamous, heterosexual relationship which is male-led, and in which the female defers in matters of everyday life, as well as sexually, to her partner.
Taken in hand: Information from Answers.com
It sounds like a great thing IF you want to control/be controlled by someone.but its sure as hell not for me.
I want a PARTNER not a slave [or a slaveholder]
What do you want in life naughty little princess? To be a slave?
Thanks Savage, I thought it was about masturbation.
Thank you TheSavage, I had no clue what it meant. To be controlled or controlling. That does not sound like an equal relationship. Does not sound like a good thing. My view on that is it will not work.
Joe
Me too, Joe. But if some one wants to be a slave, then they have to have a master I guess. I'd rather be loved than whipped, but to each his own.
I guess I go along with the others. I believe that good relationships need balance. Not one leading the other by the hand(or nose). To deffer always to the man wouldn't do well for any woman's self esteem. No would the man show the woman any type of respect if his word was law all the time. Her opinions wouldn't be taken seriously. Nor her right to be asertive. It's just my opinion as a woman. Id wanted to be treated with respect and my thoughts my own.
In this relationship the woman is submissive, which is Biblical. However, and I mean a big however, there are guidelines for the man and how he should treat the woman. It is not a "do as I say and not how I do" thing. Entering a relationship like "Taken In Hand" would require a great deal of dialogue and finding out what exactly his expectations are and his concepts of his full responsibilities to the woman.
I personally am wary of the idea of the woman always being in deference to the man, because it can lead to an abuse of power on the man's part and the woman's becoming a complete doormat. While I do agree on the man being the head of the household, I cannot see a vital, living relationship survive without the give and take ON both sides.
In this day and age where households survive on 2 incomes and raising the children, family life becomes a shared responsibility. Head of household is now both husband and wife. Yes there need to be give and take to create a balance to make it work. If I accepted my husbands word as law we'd be divorced by now. What we do is play to each other's strengths. And support each other in our weak areas. There are things he's better at than I am and vice versa. We do our best and present an equal and united front for the kids. That way they know mom and dad are the boss. If not and he was head of the house. They would look to me as a glorified baby sitter.:rolleyes:
My take is this: I have been in a "Taken in Hand" relationship for well over 4 years. Yes, this is my first try at such a thing but I can say this... I have had WONDERFUL relationships in the "vanilla" world but nothing & I honestly mean NOTHING can touch what I have now. Yes I do as I am told but its not like most people think as in terms of domestic violence, I would NEVER let a man treat me in that fashion. This is more of an erotic surrender to HIS EVERY wanton desire. Do I get anything out of it? I can't even begin to tell you how the bliss rolls over my body, waves of sheer delight! In our everyday "vanilla" lives outside the bedroom I am treated wonderfully! We are both highly respected professionals in our career fields & we both bring in the money, but all it takes is one glance from HIM & I am putty! So don't knock it until you've tried it! You have no clue as to what you are truly missing!! :cool:
As long as both partners agree, as to how to live in a relationship, its all good. Even though its an old post, your input was insightful Dizz. To each his own.
Pffft I would never want a woman to defer to me.. I can be an idiot at times. I'd want an intelligent woman who can be my equal, not above or below me.
Dating a lemming just isn't my idea of a great relationship, whether there were well defined guidelines. It's different if say I know more about a particular subject like finances (I would have course try explaining and thus making her understand) or vice versa... but never just "hey we are having sex tonight", or "get dressed we are going out" god if I demanded or 'ordered' something like that, id want a woman who would promptly walk up to me and laugh in my face lmao. (and those lines CAN be said in a nice way I'm assuming they are demanding)
I realized this is an old post, but I feel that I need to share here because there is so much misconception about this subject. And in case someone who doesn't quite understand happens along and reads this post. People make this into a control issue. It is not! It is simply that the husband has the last word. As the woman in this relationship I choose to give the authority to my husband to have the deciding vote. We discuss everything, even more than before we decided on this lifestyle. I have given of my own free will the authority to make decisions for me and our family. As in any relationship my husband honors me, by taking account of my needs, and desires. Women are not lead around as if they can't think for themselves in these relationships. I am a college graduate and work outside of our home. I don't believe that men and woman are equal in all areas of life and in a relationship. I have never seen a man give birth. God created us to be different and that those differences should complement each other to form a stable environment to raise a family in. This lifestyle offers us harmony in our home.
Not everyone who chooses to be taken in hand gets spanked; there are differences in each relationship. I am held accountable for my actions and words by my husband. And he holds himself to an even higher standard than he holds me to. My husband has had to reprimand me on occasion; he has a rule about getting into a personal debate with him in public. This is something we are to do at home, or when we are alone. And the first time he simply told me he didn't appreciate my choice to do so. The second time he ask me to write down why he didn't like it and why I felt compelled to continue to embarrasses myself in this way. I obviously agree with him that it is a terrible thing for a couple to get into a personal debate when they are in the company of others. This was an internal struggle for me, and as a result to my struggle it was decided that when I broke this rule that when we go home I would stand in the corner, for it is far better that I embarrass myself only in front of my husband then in front of a whole room of people. The penalty for an infraction is left solely up to my husband, and if he desires he ask me my opinion. And it is always my choice to receive the correction.
Oh. Much better, thanks.Quote:
Originally Posted by choosing myway
You guys aren't really getting what a TIH relationship is all about. Go see th website and you will find that usually it is the woman wanting a TIH relationship and that people who are in such are relationship are amazingly, fantastically, adoringly in love and happy. You will also find that many times the women are in high-powered positions outside of the home. They are smart, savy and strong. Not a lifestyle that fits everyone, but don't knock something you don't understand.
A TIH wife who loves every minute of it.
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