Hi. I'm 44, my wife is 38. We've been married for 8 years. When we were first dating, she would ask me to masturbate and to climax on her buttocks. This went on for awhile, and then went away. Now, after having two children and going through a long period where "sex" meant her pleasuring me orally followed by mutual masturbation, we've seen a significant increase in our lovemaking. No matter how we start (me on top, she on top),it always ends with me entering her from behind and her screaming for me to pull out and "*** on my ***" (trying to keep it g-rated, but want to paint an accurate portrait).



My question is, my wife is generally very conservative- doesn't like to watch porn, doesn't enjoy vibrators, dirty talk etc. Yet, she loves when I climax upon her buttocks.I'd asked her about it early in our relationship and she insisted that I was the only person she'd done it with. Honestly, I didn't believe it then, and I don't believe it now. (though if she were to tell me I was the fifth and not the first it would be fine- I'd appreciate the honesty)
What can this possibly stem from? Am I wrong to believe that she's holding back from me, that she's got a "dirty" side that she keeps from me, other than the buttock thing?


Please help!


Thank you.

She may not have a freaky side. Only she knows unless she has actually told you otherwise.

And even if she does... she's going to have to willingly and openly confide in you, because that's a VERY personal matter with some women. And some won't even do it to their own spouses.

I would ask if it really matters? This could just be what turns her on or gets her off. To be honest, as kinks go, this is relatively minor. It could be coprophagia or BSDM or one of a million other kinks. If it isn't causing you grief, besides your worry about what she could be hiding, just go with the flow.

Something to ponder. Given your name I am going to assume your north american. We are raised to view sex as taboo. Plain old sex. We are taught by several sources to keep it in your pants. That having sex is dangerous and dirty. The world is getting better, but we aren't there yet. The result of this is the sense of embarrassment and shame for the people who have kinks they want to try. The prim and proper housewife who wants to be tied up and banged like a salvation army drum is afraid to approach her husband about her fantasy because she's afraid that he'll think she is a freak. He'll leave and disgrace her.

It is very much a dirty little secret these days, what you like to do or not do behind doors. She could be hiding something from you but she could not. She could be to embarrassed to tell you. I am sure you have things you would like to do in bed that you haven't done.

I would have a few frank discussions on things you would like to do. This is the usual serious conversation that we suggest here but more of a fun one to get to know each other better sexually. The other choice is just let it ride and accept it for what it is. Your wife likes it when you spunk on her but.

I am not trying to keep this G-Rated. :-)

It sounds as if this is something that she likes. I would just roll with it...

Are YOU uncomfortable with it?

I wouldn't really think that she has a dirty side to her because of this, and if she does, well then lucky for you. Enjoy it.

And until and unless she tells you... nobody can guess what it might be. And the flip side... you can't assume she does actually have one. Some people don't , really.

First who is to judge what if freaky between a wife and her husband, She may want to wear a Barney outfit and have you dress like Mr Rodgers, if that is OK with both of you and you are man and wife who cares.

Next don't push for past relationships, she may or may not have them, why even bring it up here, that has no bearing on sexual desires.

Why does some people like Coke over Pepsi. They just like the taste of one over another.

Some couples like to watch porn together, others think watching porn is sinful, some like to role play, others don't ever want to.

What is suppose to happen, you talk about what each of you like, you tell her what you like, how you perfer to do this or that. And then she talkes about things she likes,

Things you both agree on, you do, if you can't agree on it, you don't.

Good points Chuck!

Also from a woman's point of view, when I'm at work or out and about, I'm very professional, prim and proper. People tell me that I look very innocent, but let me tell you, behind closed doors that innocence turns to pure sin!

That being said, stop worring and start enjoying.

She's your wife. If you are concerned enough to post this question, ask her. Guessing is just that... guessing.