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-   -   My boyfriend wants to join the military (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=542941)

  • Jan 11, 2011, 10:48 AM
    imsurroundedbyfish
    My boyfriend wants to join the military
    My boyfriend wants to join the army. There are a few things I want to know, and I’ve asked him these questions but he’s not that sure and I was hoping for some clarifications…


    1. When he comes back for leave how long will he be back for before he has to get deployed again? He says one to two months and he’ll get deployed in England before being sent abroad, is that correct?
    2. If we start thinking about getting married would he have time off to get married or would we have to work around him being on his usual leave?
    3. if there was something important I had to tell you, like really really important, urgent emergancey or something then would I be able to get in contact with him? He says he thinks that when he’s not on patrol he’ll have internet access and 30 minutes a week for phone calls but I don’t know…
    4. Would he get paternity leave even if its just to be there when the baby is born?

    Even if anyone can answer just one of these questions it’d be of great help and comfort. Thank you.
  • Jan 11, 2011, 11:15 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by imsurroundedbyfish View Post
    My boyfriend wants to join the army. There are a few things I want to know, and I’ve asked him these questions but he’s not that sure and I was hoping for some clarifications…


    1. When he comes back for leave how long will he be back for before he has to get deployed again? He says one to two months and he’ll get deployed in England before being sent abroad, is that correct?
    2. If we start thinking about getting married would he have time off to get married or would we have to work around him being on his usual leave?
    3. if there was something important I had to tell you, like really really important, urgent emergancey or something then would I be able to get in contact with him? He says he thinks that when he’s not on patrol he’ll have internet access and 30 mins a week for phone calls but I don’t know…
    4. Would he get paternity leave even if its just to be there when the baby is born?

    Even if anyone can answer just one of these questions it’d be of great help and comfort. Thank you.
    Are you in the US? I don't understand the reference to being deployed in England and then "abroad." If you're in the US England is "abroad." Maybe you're in the UK?

    If you are in the US it's my understanding that units are deployed, not individuals, so it will depend on whether he's in training school, what unit he is in, what branch of the Service.

    No, emergency leaves are not granted so someone can get married. You would have to marry during his regularly-scheduled leave.

    Phone calls and email contact depend on where he is. In a true emergency the Red Cross (or a similar organization if you are not in the US) has a system for making emergency contact. (I know this because I'm a Red Cross volunteer with this group.)

    No, he will not get paternity leave as this is not considered a pregnancy. Of course, he could get regular leave if it is within the scheduled time frame.

    (I have two nephews in the US Army, both in Afghanistan, both Officers, so I'm somewhat familiar with some of this.)
  • Jan 11, 2011, 11:56 AM
    Fr_Chuck
    I will answer this assuming it has to do with the US military, not England

    1. He will go to basic training first and then be assigned an AIT ( training station) before being assigned a unit.

    How long he has between assignments vary, I have seen people go straight from basic to AIT and others may have a few weeks.
    I doubt he will have two months between assignments.

    Also at this point his assignment is always a maybe, and subject to change, So his England may be Iraq in 8 months if needs change.
    And no normally out of AIT he will go to his unit, not some other place for a while and then to the unit.

    Since he has first enlisted he will not have leave time yet, so you will need to work the wedding around time he has off between training and time he is deployed.

    What his duties are will decide how easy he is to talk to, my son when he was in the middle of Iraq had internet to contact me plus had use of a cell phone a few times a month but no 30 minutes, a few minutes..

    But there are letters, you write it on paper, and mail it, still the best way to get info to them

    There are emergancy contacts if you had to get hold of him for really serious nature.

    But then he may be on patrol for weeks at at time in combat areas, where there is no contact hardly.

    No there is no paternity leave, he will see the baby when he gets his next leave to come home. If that is 6 months or 12 months.
  • Jan 11, 2011, 09:04 PM
    J_9

    I hope I can help you understand how it works. My sons recently got back from Iraq, so I have some sort of understanding how this goes.

    He will go to basic training and be gone approximately 12-13 weeks. He will then come home for a short period before going to AIT, which is a training program for a specific job he will do. He will find out what his job (MOI) will be probably in basic training, but it may change in AIT.

    The length of time he is home between basic and AIT varies.

    Where he gets transferred will depend on the "job" he is assigned. He could go to England, Germany, Iraq, etc. There is no way to know when and where he will be going until he gets his orders. The orders will also tell him how long he will be gone.

    About getting married... you will have to work around his schedule. It's not like a regular job where you can ask for time off.

    Most likely he will have internet access. I was able to keep in touch with my sons via internet and telephone (they had cell phones) the entire time they were in Iraq.

    Will he get paternity leave? Not if he is deployed. They will not send him half way around the world for the birth of a baby. My oldest son dropped his wife off at the hospital in labor. He could not stay because he was shipping out for Iraq that day.
  • Jan 12, 2011, 10:29 AM
    imsurroundedbyfish

    Well I was actually talking about the English army so if anyone knows anything about that then yea...

    But one would assume the system is the same, facilities like internet will be the same e.g. J_9 said that his/her sons had internet in Iraq so if English army are in Iraq it should surely be the same?

    And I would imagine things like leave for marriage and paternity are the same as well...
  • Jan 12, 2011, 10:30 AM
    imsurroundedbyfish
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Are you in the US? I don't understand the reference to being deployed in England and then "abroad." If you're in the US England is "abroad." Maybe you're in the UK?
    Yes I am in the UK
  • Jan 12, 2011, 11:48 AM
    JudyKayTee
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by imsurroundedbyfish View Post
    Well I was actually talking about the English army so if anyone knows anything about that then yea...

    But one would assume the system is the same, facilities like internet will be the same eg J_9 said that his/her sons had internet in Iraq so if Enlish army are in Iraq it should surely be the same?

    And I would imagine things like leave for marriage and paternity are the same as well...
    I would assume it's the same but I wouldn't count on it.

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