Ask Me Help Desk - Should I worry?

[F]I am 18 years old with a 2 month old. The father to my baby who I was with for a year and a half, left me when I was 6 months pregnant and had no contact with him till about 3 weeks before my son was born. Now that my son is almost 2 months old he is wanting to take me to court so he can take him to his house or anywhere with out me present. I have told him(before I found out that he was taking me to court) that I would go with out away from my parents and his so he could spend time with our son and I would only go along so I could feed him. He told me that he could not do that because Sunday's was the only day that he did not have to work and he played paint-ball on that day. He does come over just about every night to see him but, by the time that he gets off work and gets to my house it is like around 7:30-8:00 and our son is either getting ready for bed or in bed already. Now, He tell's me that he is taking to court so that he can take our son to his house with out me there so his family can see him. My baby's grandmother(his dad's mom) use to come over like when I had just got out of the Hospital but only like 4 times. Now she or none of the other family members even call. I have been in the same store with some of them and them not even come and see him. He is also taking me to court to get the baby's last name changed( he is no where on the birth-certificates), To see how much money he needs to give me, and lastly so that I am not allowed to move away. Is there anything that I need to be worried about? What kind of visitation will he get?.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Worried386

[F]I am 18 years old with a 2 month old. The father to my baby who I was with for a year and a half, left me when i was 6 months pregnant and had no contact with him till about 3 weeks before my son was born. Now that my son is almost 2 months old he is wanting to take me to court so he can take him to his house or anywhere with out me present. I have told him(before I found out that he was taking me to court) that I would go with out away from my parents and his so he could spend time with our son and I would only go along so I could feed him. He told me that he could not do that because Sunday's was the only day that he did not have to work and he played paint-ball on that day. He does come over just about every night to see him but, by the time that he gets off of work and gets to my house it is like around 7:30-8:00 and our son is either getting ready for bed or in bed already. Now, He tell's me that he is taking to court so that he can take our son to his house with out me there so his family can see him. My baby's grandmother(his dad's mom) use to come over like when I had just got out of the Hospital but only like 4 times. Now she or none of the other family members even call. I have been in the same store with some of them and them not even come and see him. He is also taking me to court to get the baby's last name changed( he is no where on the birth-certificates), To see how much money he needs to give me, and lastly so that I am not allowed to move away. Is there anything that I need to be worried about? What kind of visitation will he get?.

Were you married to him, if not you shouldn't worry too much he can go to court for visitation but you both have to agree on some kind of rules to be put in place, even if it's just for the sake of you child.

He can't change the last name either if he's not on birth cert, but he can ask for a DNA test to have his name put on (gives him a few more rights) but you can stall that process
If necessary.

Being married has nothing to do about getting or not getting visitation, or being listed on the birth certificate is not an issue about visitation,

If he is the father, he can request a DNA test to prove it, and if the father, he can request visitation time with the baby, for a while since the child is so small, it may require it to be supervised visitation, but he will get visitation if he want it. He can't change the last name most likely, but do expect the court to spell out visitation. NOTE, if you don't trust that person to be with the child, don't have sex with them.

You will have to go to court and actually ask for custody, and have the court award you custody and ask the court for child support, he can ask the court to resttict you from moving a certain distance away with out courts permission.

He may well get one or two weekend a month visitation where he comes picks the child up and take the child to his place. He is the father, he has visitation rights and unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, he will get some

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

Being married has nothing to do about getting or not getting visitation, or being listed on the birth certificate is not an issue about visitation,

If he is the father, he can request a DNA test to prove it, and if the father, he can request visitation time with the baby, for a while since the child is so small, it may require it to be supervised visitation, but he will get visitation if he want it. He can't change the last name most likely, but do expect the court to spell out visitation. NOTE, if you don't trust that person to be with the child, don't have sex with them.

You will have to go to court and actually ask for custody, and have the court award you custody and ask the court for child support, he can ask the court to resttict you from moving a certain distance away with out courts permission.

he may well get one or two weekend a month visitation where he comes picks the child up and take the child to his place. He is the father, he has visitation rights and unless you can prove he is a danger to the child, he will get some

***It's not that I don't think that he will have time to take care of him. I think that he will have his mom take care of him. I mean he can not even make it to my house to see him at a decent hour, so I men when is he going to have time to come get him and then take him to his hosue. You know?. He also made the comment that he was still going to go paintballing and he would have someone else watch him. I was like well I think that if you are going to go through all the trouble to take me to court then you should have to be the one to watch him and you should not be able to just let someone else watch him during his visitation. See even you said that through court that he may even have to be supervised with his visistion, and I told him that I would go with him while he saw him for a couple of times then I would let him take the baby. But his MOMMA didn't like that and he even admitied to me that his mom had an impact his discission on taking me to court.

Well there's little you can do to deny him his rights as a father. Ultimately everything is up to the judge. Unless it can be demonstrated that visitation would not be in the child's best interests, such as if the father's been proven to be an abuser, the judge is going to grant him some sort of visitation schedule. If you were to move, you'd probably have to be responsible for arranging and paying for any travel that'd be associated with visitation.