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-   -   I'm very unhappy (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=542258)

  • Jan 9, 2011, 01:49 PM
    Iamwomen
    I'm very unhappy
    I'm 22yrs old and I'm married with one son that is not my husbands. @ first when we got married he was very good to me he I was so and love with him and l couldn't see mysel with no 1 else but him but then he changed on me and he started drinking and lashing out at me he started no communicating with me and no matter how I begged him for his attention his attention he still would treat me As if I wasn't there he started smoking being violent towards me I started catching him and lies. I looked thought his phone witch is something I shouldn't of done I saw where he had be talking to several different women his very sneaky and lies endlessly.. He really fooled me as I he was this good guy he said he didn't smoke drink he was in to church he wanted to be married and he loved me I don't feel loved in this relationship I'm hurting inside I feel lost. I feel like I need him and I have no where else to go I don't have a job I have the worst luck its seems lime every thing in my life goes wrong my family had always treated Me like I was an outsider my mother has abused me as a child she gave me to my grandparents after and incident where she had beat me up side my head with a belt and the belt buckle put a deep gash in my head she acts like she never did anything to me to this day lime she never hurt me or scared me vie been though the worst of things and I'm only 22 I just need a break though In life I'm tierd of being down.
  • Jan 9, 2011, 01:52 PM
    JudyKayTee

    What type of advice are you looking for? If he is abusive you need to get out whichever way you can before he hurts you or your child.

    If you are having problems with your family over past abuse you need to speak to a counsellor or pastor or someone who can help you. Unfortunately if you are raised in violence you can lean toward violent men because it's behavior you are accustomed to.

    I know it's not easy to leave and it sounds like you are in a very bad place right now but do you have any options at all to get away? Your grandparents, perhaps?
  • Jan 10, 2011, 08:21 AM
    Devorameira

    You do really need to have some counseling to get a grip on what's happened in the past and give you some strength to cope with what's going on now.

    Your life can be what you want. You just need to know that it's not other people that make you happy or sad... it's you.

    You may not think so at the moment, but you're not stuck... you do have choices. You need to set boundaries with people in your life and insist that they stick to them. Remember, in an adult life, people treat you the way you allow them to treat you.

    You really should start looking for a job and life of your own!
  • Jan 10, 2011, 09:26 AM
    Homegirl 50

    I think the first thing you need to do is find a shelter and remove yourself from the violent situation.
    Then you need to find a counselor. You have some very serious issues that need to be dealt with.
    I wish you well.
  • Jan 12, 2011, 07:56 AM
    talaniman

    The others are so right, your husband needs help, and you can't give it to him, so protect yourself, and help yourself, by removing yourself from this situation, be it a shelter, or family, or a friend, so you can be safe, and rebuild a better you, and life for your child.

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