Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend loves me and this I no she just doesn't seem sexually attracted to me anymore

my girlfriend love me and this I no she just doesn't seem sexually attracted to me anymore. OK the details I'm 20 she's 19 I love this girl with all my heart and when we have sex I get this feeling of closness I've never gotten from my x's before we've been together for 7 months now and living together for 5 and we used to have sex 1-2 daily and she loved it now I have to half *** beg to even get down to it or of course the classic I'm tiard or I have a headache. I found out that I wasn't making her climax and with time (and oral) fixed that problem or so she told me because she still has this I wish it was over did you *** yet look n her eye and when she tells me she came she only shows one sign but either way she says I'm getting her off now but still has NEVER ngaged me or pushed for sex even when we were doing daily I've talked to her about it and she just tells me I'm fine. She's NOT on birth control so I can rule that out I'm just so confused and want her to want me and not want to keep her hands off me lik I do her I love her too much to leave or cheat tried talking romance treating her nice(which I do all the time and even more so since I lost my job lol)foot rubs bubble baths movies and cuddling all without motioning tward sex at all for 2 and 1/2 weeks and NOTHING!! HELP!!

Okay--FIRST thing: NO CHAT SPEAK!

Type out the words. If you are an adult, you KNOW how an adult types, and it's not using "no" instead of "know" and "n" instead of "and".

Further chat speak WILL be deleted.

Okay, NOT on birth control and NOT wanting kids is a libido killer JUST as much as some birth control kills libido. And yes, she may not be having an orgasm--but only SHE can tell you that, and you have to trust she's communicating with you honestly.

I have a MUCH lower sex drive than my husband. Some of that is physical (medical problems) and some of that is that I work and go to school full time. I'm freaking EXHAUSTED at the end of the day, and the LAST thing on my mind is sex. This frustrated my husband to no end.

He'd try to start something, and then it started to seem like EVERY kiss, EVERY cuddle, EVERY time we had a naughty flirtation, it had to lead to sex or he got upset. Which left me having no drive for sex at ALL, because resentment built up.

You say you haven't done that. Well, my husband thought HE wasn't doing it either. Cuddling, movies, sweet things---but then would be quietly upset and frustrated if no sex happened. He didn't SAY it, but body language did.

Have you ASKED her about it? Calmly, quietly, with no anger or frustration, only CONCERN, asked her why her drive is low right now?

Thanks for the insite. But so you run the site or were you a fan of chat speak and your post get deleated as well? First this is my first post give me a break and two I've never been able to spell very well. I'll try talking to her again

No mr mayhem, you do NOT get a break. The site SPECIFICALLY tells you to READ THE RULES BEFORE POSTING. If you cannot DO that, you cannot post here. Plain and simple. This is not high school. This is adult life, and you don't 'get a break' when you scrwe up and break the rules.

NO TEXT SPEAK ALLOWED

So try to get your head out of your rear and on straight between your sholders before posting here again. :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

no mr mayhem, you do NOT get a break. the site SPECIFICALLY tells you to READ THE RULES BEFORE POSTING. if you cannot DO that, you cannot post here. plain and simple. this is not highschool. this is adult life, and you dont 'get a break' when you scrwe up and break the rules.

NO TEXT SPEAK ALLOWED

so try to get your head out of your rear and on straight between your sholders before posting here again. :)

I'll back you up on this jennie. Two posts and they try to tell us what the rules are... and right off the bat get cocky and rude.

I doubt he is as old as he claims... sounds more like a 14 year olds attitude to me than a 20 year olds. Then toss in the adolescent maturity level of chat speak... only kids think chatspeak is cool.

An Adult would have simply appologized... and begged our pardon... a kid thinks it's a competition about who can shout who down and have to get rude..

And incidentally... Mr.confusion... Synnen happens to be one of the people who DO run this place... talk about you stepping in something...

To the OP: I could have just deleted your post. I decided that your question was important enough for me to remind you, in the thread, that the rules are SPECIFIC about chat speak.

And frankly, it's not that I'm not a fan of chat speak (though I'm not), it's that chat speak is generally used by the underage portion of our society. I'm okay with misspellings--but the words I pointed out for you are first--not that hard to spell, and second--are commonly used in chat speak.

Either way, let's please focus on his question regarding his girlfriend's libido.

You have been a couple for seven months.

You have been living together for five months.

How long have the problems been occurring?

If she isn't on birth control, what method of contraception have you been using? Could she be pregnant? It can sometimes take a couple of months for pregnancy tests to be accurate and not all women have the same symptoms.

You lost your job? When? Is she supporting both of you? Are financial concerns adding to her stress level? Is she feeling like she is being expected to fulfill all of your needs both in bed and out?

I think you need to sit down together and be very open and honest about the entire relationship not just sex. If you don't understand something she is saying (or not saying) ask her for clarification. Let her know that she can talk with you about anything that is bothering her and you will listen with an open mind and that you hope she will do the same. If tensions start rising, take a break to calm things down.

Do things for her because it feels good to you to do them. Don't do them in hopes she will have sex with you. If you truly care about her, show her that she is more than a body to have sex with. Do things together that say, 'I enjoy being with you' instead of 'Can we have sex now?' Show her that she is a whole person to you and you want to get to know the complete person. Make certain that you are connecting with her mentally and emotionally as well as physically.