This is a story of what I'm facing daily. Please read this. If you're a true friend. I need all the support I can get. First of all, she is now living in Autumn House on West Market. Her name is Christine Houck. She has always been a bit out of it, so you may remember her as that. Anyway, we recently got the doctor's to diagnois her correctly.She has Pick's diease. Pick's Disease is a progressively degenerative neurological disease similar to Alzheimer's Disease for which there is no known prevention, or cure. Pick's Disease affects the frontal and temporal lobes first, with earliest symptoms showing up as changes in personality and a decline in function at home as well as work. Pick's Disease is frequently first diagnosed as stress or depression and then as Alzheimer's disease. The treatment of Pick's disease is the same as for various stages of other dementias such as Alzheimer's. This accounts for so little information being available related specifically to the treatment of Pick's Disease. It took a lot of time and energy to find out what was wrong. My grandmother has been a big help to my father and I so for that I am grateful. Ppl may try to say that they know how I feel, I can tell you you surely do not. My parent's were never really parent's. They didn't understand how to raise a child. My mom has been ill all my life. When I got my first period, I thought I was dying. She didn't explain to me what was going on, she just said it's a girl thing. She never knew how to talk to me when I needed a person to talk to because I was bullied at school. I've delt with this horror more then I can bare and I think it's time for people to see what I've gone through and what can happen to your loved ones. My grandfather just died a few months back, as if my mother being ill wasn't enough. His death came as a sudden shock. I thought he would live forever. Back to my mom, she has Pick's and talking to her is like talking to a 5yr old child. She doesn't understand anything. I love my mom, I love my dad. But both, woln't live to see my kids. My dad has been smoking since age 16 or so, he has lung problems. My mom woln't live long with Pick's. So, knowing I'll lose my parent's really upsets me. I know they haven't been the greatest parent's, but I love them anyway. So just remember that and tell your parent's you love them, you never know when it will be there last day. I will be putting more information about my mother's diesase on my blog. Please read it, just to learn. Also, as I've said, if you knew my mother, you are welcome to try to visit her at Autumn House. She needs all the love she can get. If you have read this far, thank you. I hope this helps you to not take life for granted and understand what I've been going though.

What can I do to feel better? Why am I so depressed? It's making me a crapy person. I tried to kill myself a lot, I don't want to live sometime's ever though I have a great fiancé. What the heck is wrong with me...

Like I said in my other post... You have just not found your calling you have your fiancé that is the first step... have you ever thought about trying to work on healing yourself and then trying to go to school in a field that would allow you to help teenagers that have had bad or sad up brignings>? If you were able to kill youe self... waht if in your future you were needed to be there for a lonely child who could not relate to everyone else because his situation was like yours... what if youw ere supposed to be the person who founds an orginaztion and provides support for family members of PICK's... you never know what your calling is... but to end it before you do would be taking yet another thing away from you... I will always listen if you need to talk !

Thanks a lot, you seem pretty awesome. I don't know how to heal. I mean I don't like myself sometimes, but I don't know how to fix it. I've tried but nothing ever works. I don't know

It never works because that part of your mind is stornger than your will currently... you will always battle it... but in your head you must know you will be the victor... its just going to take some time...
I used to never like myself... that took me down a path that I lost eveything and went to jail.
I had to learn to lve myself and realize how storng ones mind really is once you give it what it needs to thrive

Yea I don't know, I'm just so depressed at the moment

Damn, girl, you sure have been dealt a hand at the card table of life. All I can say is if you survive it and get to be a reasonably normal adult, you will be one awesome person. My hat's off to you. I wish I could tell you how to get through it, but I really haven't got a clue. I figure you've got more wisdom than most of us already and every day you live you're getting wiser. Don't give up and really off yourself. Don't put those who care about you through that wringer. It would be cruel. You can do this. I don't know how, but you do.

Yea I just feel like giving up sometimes. Because I'm 21, and I feel like a kid. I don't understand a lot of things, and I feel so stupid, I wish I had parent's to teach me what I need to know, but its too late and noe I got to do it all the hard way... but what's the point.

Hello Meg,

I never heard of Picks disease, until you have mentioned it here. By bringing this up to the forefront you are doing a great service to understand what happened to your mom, and this gives the chanch for people to look up this disease themselves and learn about it. I read up on it. It is a rarity and hard to diagnose, but it is very rare. I understand that you did not have that good of parents, and believe me I do believe that we have all experienced some kind of abuse. Whether it be emotional, physical or sexual.

I personally believe the reason why people feel down, get depressed and let life get them down is because their outlook on life at the moment is stuck in one spot. For instance your parents and how you were raised is still on your mind and weighs heavily on you. You have not moved past the experienced and that is why you have not healed yet.

So in my own personal experiances. In order to be able to heal from whatever anybodys experience is. You need to learn how to live each day as if it is a new day. Try not letting your past drag you down. Try not dwelling on a future that is not here yet.. What is most important is this very new day, and what you are going to do today. When you start changing your outlook on life, when you start letting go of the past. That is when the healing will begin and that is when you will be able to grow and heal.

I hope this makes sense to you. There was emotional and physical abuse in my wife's family. There was emotional and sort of physical in mine. I was raised with a step parent who changed when I got older. Especially after seeking out my real father. Everybody has a story in their life and we all could share a lot. I know I have many but I will not share the details because you probably find them boring. Lol

Anyway, all I know is that you have a great fiancé. You are very intelligent, do not ever think or feel that your stupid because you are not. See everybody has a life experience. Everybody has different things to learn. Some learn it the hard way, and some not. My feeling is you know a lot more about life then your letting on. Just to let you know. IT IS NEVER EVER TOO LATE. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO LATE.

Just wanted you to know that.

Take Care of yourself,

Joe

My mother has been diagnosed with Pick's disease.

IF THIS HAPPEN TO A FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIEND AND OR THINK THEY HAVE A PROBLEM....I WANT U TO KNOW THIS, READ !!!!!

Background: Pick disease (named after Arnold Pick) is a progressive dementia defined by clinical and pathologic criteria. Unlike Alzheimer disease and other dementias that present with cognitive deficits localized to the posterior (parietal) cortex, Pick disease typically affects the frontal and/or temporal lobes. First described in 1892, with the defining pathologic characteristics first reported by Alois Alzheimer in 1911, Pick disease now is considered by some to be part of a "complex" of neurodegenerative disorders with similar or related histopathologic and clinical features (Kertesz, 1994; Kertesz, 2003).

Frontotemporal dementia (of which Pick disease is an example) is a broader term including Pick disease. Frontal lobe dementia is a term signifying neuropsychological features localizing to the frontal lobes. Clinically, Pick disease may be identical or very similar to "frontal lobe degeneration" (Miller, 1997).

Some cases diagnosed premorbidly as Pick disease are shown pathologically to be progressive subcortical gliosis (Neumann, 1967). Other cases may be diagnosed pathologically as dementia lacking distinctive histopathology (Knopman, 1990). A clinical/genetic nosology includes frontotemporal dementia linked to chromosome 17 (Foster, 1997). Primary progressive aphasia (Weintraub, 1990) is a "focal atrophy" syndrome that may be associated with Pick, Alzheimer, or other pathology; clinically the deficit appears restricted to the frontal and/or temporal lobes.



Pick disease is defined pathologically by severe atrophy, neuronal loss, and gliosis. Swollen (ballooned) neurons (Pick cells) and argentophilic neuronal inclusions known as Pick bodies (Jellinger, 1995; Jackson, 1996) disproportionally affect the frontal and temporal cortical regions.



After death, only approximately 5-7% of people meeting clinical criteria for the diagnosis of Pick disease meet strict neuropathologic criteria for the diagnosis (Litvan, 1997). In some clinical settings, most patients with autopsy-confirmed Pick disease have been diagnosed during life as having Alzheimer disease or another neurodegenerative illness (Litvan, 1997).


The disorder is progressive and invariably leads to increasing disability. The disease runs a shorter course than Alzheimer disease, on average about 6 years (Hodges, 2003; Rascovsky, 2005).
In some individuals whose main symptoms are a disturbance of speech and language (primary progressive aphasia), the clinical course can be slow. The patient's ability to function at home may be spared for 10 or more years postonset.
History:

The onset of behavioral and cognitive dysfunction in individuals with Pick disease is insidious.
The primary impairment in cognition normally does not involve an abnormal level of consciousness or distractibility. Such a finding is more consistent with an attentional dementia (Nadeau, 1991) or a confusional state and/or dementia.
Clinical course during the first 2 years is as follows:
Psychiatric abnormalities that seem to respect the pattern of the classic frontal lobe syndromes are present (Gregory, 1996).
Patients with orbitofrontal dysfunction become aggressive and socially inappropriate. They may steal or demonstrate obsessive or repetitive stereotyped behaviors.
Patients with dorsomedial or dorsolateral frontal dysfunction may demonstrate a lack of concern, apathy, or decreased spontaneity.
Patients may be depressed early in the disease.
These mood changes can predate amnesia.
Speech and language abnormalities often begin early and progress rapidly.
Patients usually have relatively little limb apraxia and/or visuospatial dysfunction, thus distinguishing them from patients with diffuse bihemispheric impairment.
Even memory impairment is relatively less severe than speech/language and behavioral changes.
Incontinence can occur early. In contrast, continence generally is preserved in mild-to-moderate Alzheimer disease.
Parkinsonism, with its concomitant history of rigidity and gait impairment, can occur. Severe parkinsonism suggests an alternate diagnosis such as corticobasal ganglionic degeneration, diffuse Lewy body disease, or progressive supranuclear palsy.
Abnormal spontaneous behaviors observed during examination may include the following:
"Witzelsucht" or inappropriate jocularity
Echolalia (repeating the examiner's words), echopraxia (imitating the examiner's gestures [Lhermitte, 1983; Shimomura, 1998]), and other disinhibited approach or utilization behaviors
General neurologic examination may include some of the following abnormalities:
Primitive reflexes such as grasp, suck, and snout (not palmomental reflex, which is often present in healthy individuals; Sjogren, 1997)
Akinesia, plastic rigidity, or paratonia on motor examination (Beversdorf, 1998)
Resting tremor (uncommon; its presence suggests Parkinson disease or a Parkinson-plus syndrome)
Mental status/neuropsychological examination may reveal the following:
Verbal output that is often nonfluent
Most patients have difficulty in naming common objects or pictures (anomia).
Spontaneous speech can be sparse yet "fluent" in character, with preserved grammar (logopenia)


Relatively preserved visuospatial and visual orientation skills
Causes:

The specific cause of Pick disease is unknown.
In families with an inherited frontal lobe dementia (some of which pathologically or clinically were indistinguishable from Pick disease), linkage to markers on band 17q21-22 coding tau protein has been reported (Lynch, 1994; Foster, 1997) as have presenilin-1 mutations 14q21 (Rogaeva, 2001; Raux, 2000).
These familial disorders are heterogeneous in different family members.

PLEASE READ MY STORY...I POSTED ABOUT MY MOTHER AND PICK'S!!!!

I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of this. It's very admirable that you've stood behind your parents despite the fact that clearly they're "not perfect", as you've phrased it. Your strength and loyalty should be good signs to your fiancé that you'll be a faithful wife and mother just like you've been a faithful daughter and granddaughter. One of the toughest things we all have to face (unless we die young) is the prospect of losing our parents. My father is being treated for lung cancer so I can sort of relate to where you're coming from. All things considered he's been doing pretty well so far but I have to deal with the realization that his days are now numbered and it is difficult. So hang in there and good luck.

My mom doesn't even remember me she did I went to visit her awhile ago. She know's me after like thinking about it and stuff. I don't want to deal with this all over again. When my pap died a year ago, he thought I was my brother. He totally forgot me and it was a very sudden death type of thing. He was always fit and limber. My dad doesn't even go into see my mom, he blames her for all his problems. She wasn't the greatest wife and was out of it her whole life. He has a mental capassity as a child, its hard to know what to do. I really get mad about it all. I feel like I have no parent's and I think its unfair. That I've had to have this crpay life.

Dear Rayne: I am a mom who has just been diagnosed with Pick's disease and I have a
Daughter like you. Up until a few years ago, I took care of my husband who had suffered
A horrific brain injury while doing his duties as a police detective. He had almost no brain
Left. No one understood and my daughter was traumatized beyond what I can describe.
Her father was left blind, paralyzed and with almost no functional brain left. I took care of
Him for 14 yrs. Before he died. I thought my own waning mental abilities were due to all
The stress of those nightmarish years. Now I find out that I have fairly advanced Pick's
Disease and the first symptoms have begun, constant crying, the ability to function at a
Fraction of what I used to be able to do. They say that frontal lobe stimulaters will only
Help me for a matter of months.

I haven't told my daughter yet. She suffers awfully already like you described. I feel as
If my husband and I have betrayed our children to leave them with such an awful mess.
I took care of my husband alone so they wouldn't be burdened but I am becoming a
Burden myself. My own mother is in the last stages of this disease and I will likely make
It to the nursing home before she dies. I suffer over her, also.

Do you know of anything that can help me tell my daughter. I just want to tell everyone that I love them before I can't say it anymore. It's like knowing you are going to die but I will still be a burden to my family. I can't imagine losing myself so completely while I'm
Still alive but I have seen it in my husband and mother and they loved me so much but
Couldn't help what they had become.

I feel as if I am leaving them orphaned and I worry about their hardship when I can't
Take care of myself. I feel you are like my daughter and it makes me cry. I feel betrayed
Also, as I only had children, thinking I was giving them the best father and two very
Healty and loving parents. I guess I was too arrogant to see my own vulnerability.

Your question has touched me deeply. Kathy

Honestly, I don't know what to say to you. Im sorry I haven't got back to you sooner. But at any rate, the best thing you can do is to tell your kids how much you love them. If they are old enough to understand that and understand that illness isn't a betryal, it's a fact of life, people get sick. This is just the way the cards play out sometimes. Might not be fair, but it's the way it goes. Just spend what time you can with them and when you start getting too bad I suggest getting put either into a care service or a special home.


PERSONALLY:

My mother was nvr a good mom, she has been "ill" (and its clear from her actions) all her adulthood. You're a good mom, and it seems you really love your kids. To tell you the truth you don't sound like you have picks. You're probably in the beginning stages. My mom, however, doesn't remember anything. She didn't even know (like you do) that she had picks and what that meant for her and her family. So this is a MAJOR difference. Knowing the facts, being in the right mind to is soooo good for you and your family. It's going to help. But like my situation, with my mom already too far gone, she will nvr understand the hardships I've bared. The pain I've felt. Im sure she wouldn't like knowing her husband wants to "get out" of the marriage because he can't stand living like this. What kind of feelings would that make her have if she could understand? I only wonder.. . anyway my mom would not have understood picks even when she was better. Which then it was still a pain to deal with her. As I've said, she was nvr a mother, nvr a friend. She was nvr there for me. Except to yell at me when I did something wrong. I still long for a mother, even though ill nvr have that. So be glad you have a relationship with your kids. It's truly priceless. Im not sure what else to say, this is a really touchy subject for me. It's starting to bother me more and more lately.

I wish you well. I'm glad that you read this post. Take care.

Thank you for your reply. Is your name Megg?

Your being so unhappy and depressed is worse than what your mom has. Is there any
Thing you can do to fix your depression? If you have a good fiancé and can't be happy
Then you are in a lot of pain. Please, try and get better. If your mom had been able to'
Be a good mom, she wouldn't care about herself but only about your being a happy adult.
My daughter is also an adult with a loving husband but she leaves him whenever she has
A major loss. Despite being loved, she also has a tough time being happy.

My being diagnosed with Pick's was due to my having a brain scan for other problems, so
It is an unusually early diagnosis. I still hope it is a misdiagnosis but I do feel an awful
Fog coming on that makes it difficult for me to function and a zombie-like state that makes
It difficult for me to be emotionally expressive, and I have lashed out at my kids in a
Way I never have before and I didn't even see it coming.

Your mom might've had organic brain problems that caused her to be the awfully dysfunctional mother that she was. I know this can't make up for all the deprivation you have suffered.

What thoughts make you most feel like wanting to die? I pray that you can become
Happy. What kind of help is available where you live? Happy people can handle life's
Losses so much better than those of us prone to depression. It matters so much to me
For you to be happy because you are young and your parents' problems don't matter
Anything compared to yours.

Kathy

My name is Megan, but people call me Megg. This story is long so..

Well from the time I posted this origanally, to now, I think I've gotten better with the depression. Bc back when I wrote it, was when it was all overwhelming and when my fiancé an I were not getting along as well as I wanted. I sometime's tend to either go out of the way to show people how depressed I am or I go out of my way to pi*ss people off.. not a good thing, but mehh. I'd say from that time to now, things have deff gotten better. I'm in a great relaionship again. (With the exception I'm trying to still get him to talk to me about my family-whom he hates an nvr wants to talk bout) but sometimes I need to talk about it. Other then that, last night in fact he told me he'd happy with me, that I make him happy. Which deff made me feel good. I used to be a mean, troubled person when we first dated. I've came a long way since.

I was so depressed, then, and I can be now if I let myself. Bc my parents were nvr parents. They didn't go out to play with me when I was a teen. They didn't talk to me calmly when I did a bad thing. They didn't talk to me when I had a problem. My dad was abusive, mentally and verbally. And once in a great while physically. My mom nvr cared about anything but reading the bible (which was a mockery, since she was not a true christian!) or yelling because I was in her way or something fell in the kitchen. SURE they're we some good times... but I nvr had a family like the ones on TV.. lol. Where you have a game night or a time to tell stories and love each other. That's what depressed me so. I wanted a NORMAL family.

Aside from family issues, my friends were jerks. I only had 2 good friends in high school, but in like 10th grade one's boi didn't like me so he told her if she saw me he'd break up with her. Of course... she ditched me an did. Then the other one, liked my boi at the time, and when I heard they did stuff together I was mad as heck. So I had zero friends then.. . only friends were the random people I talked to in school. But none of them were true friends. Not friends like I thought my 2 bff's were.

SOO.. countless days went by. And every night I would walk around town after dinner and listen to my emo music. Wishing someone would shoot me in the head or take me away from my hell. Not wanted in school, at home... or anywhere. I was at the worst of the worst. I tried killing myself. I thought no one cared. I saw a phyc in school about my probs... didnt help any.

When I was in 12th grade, 2 or so yrs later.. we had moved a block to a new house. Sure I had some good times with the neighbor boi an girl. But it was all a cover up I think. I still had no one. When I started talking to a gilr at school she let me go with her to a holloween dance, and that's where I meant my fiancé. He was a co-worker of hers and was driving her to the dance. -I thought he was hott of ocurse.. lol an then when they started dancing I thought they were together. But once I found out they weren't he got my num and after a week of talking on the phone until dawn ( my folks didn't like that!) we got together. And we started dating after only really talking and seeing each other for 2 weeks.. since then 3 yrs ago since Nov 7 we have had downs and ups. This is the reason for my change into a MUCH better person. B4 I was mean, selfish, shy, vindictive, and everything you name it.

So I no longer want to die. I'm happy for the most part. Sometimes I get upset and sometimes I get grouchy. But so does everyone. I still feel that my parents owe me.. soo much. But I cannot do anything to change the past, just the future. When I have kids I am going to show them I love them EVERYDAY.. or at least I hope so. I now see my dad once a week. It's hard because he doesn't think he did anywhere as bad as I think he did. He has 2 diff types of cancer and could die from 1-5 yrs. My mom I see her once a month (its too hard to see her) and she cannot have a decent covo. She soon wolnt know who I am. And her life span with Pick's is from 1-5yrs. Maybe 10 if she is blessed. But she's not going to get better. AND to top it off Thanksgiving is coming up and this is going to be hard.

About a yr now 2 I guess... but my grandpa died in March or something. But his problems started on Thanksgiving. He was sick the whole day after my mom and him had a fight and she through a knife in the sink unsafe like and could have hurt grandpa. So the day after we had to take him to the hospital and one thing lead to another and he died 3-4 months later. This is a hard time of yr because I really miss him. When he saw me last he didn't even know who I was. And from that whole thing my family on my mom's side acted very unkindly and inhuman. So I broke ties with them... havent seen or heard from them since. You can read my blog about that from checking out my profile.

Well this has been a long story and I hope it answers your question. Take care.

Picks is no fun. Have a Parent that has been on that road for... who knows... 11-13 years or no now. Can not tell when the first signs truly started... 1998 - 2000. Some parts of the mind are there, some just gone or just not 100%. Many trips to the hospital over those years... sometimes for months at a time. 2010 was 1-2 visits to their apartment each week just to take care of all chores, and to make sure food and medication had been taken. Also saw a series of falls, including one very serious one which led to a month plus of rehab followed by Assisted Living as the only viable plan for discharge. 2011 has been all Assisted Living. Helps, but has also wiped her out. Not knowing how long this will play out or where the road will lead next is the hardest part. There is so little help. She is only 66 now.