Ask Me Help Desk - Broken heart

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Okay mee and this boy had known each other for 3 years, we both liked each other but the other one always had a girlfriend or a boyfriend. We finnaly were free and over our past relationships and we decided to get together, we fell in love and we were the happyiest couple, that is until we broke up. Well our relationship was good its just we kept getting in arguments over simple stuff and he decided to tell me that he still had feelings for his past girlfriend, who really didn't like him she was just using him, anyway we broke up and he got back with her, all his friends tried to tell him not to but he didn't listen, so he was back with her once again she broke his heart and he tried to come back to me but I didn't let him. So now he decides that he will start talking back to a girl that he went out with for 3 months. Even though he is talking to back to her he still flirts and messes around with me. I have no clue what to do because I really LOVE this boy but I don't want to go through hell to be with him and I keep thinking about how he broke my heart and if he did it once then he will do it again and I refuse to put myself in that situation again because I my heart was like really broken. I believe he loves me its just that he can't make up his mind. I still can't believe he did this to me, especially the way he said he felt about me, we talked about getting married, having 2 beautiful kids and where we were gone live and all of that but that's not going to ever happen if he keeps hurting me. For right now I won't get back with him, but I think that eventually I will bacause I love him so much and I can't ever let him go.

Emotions can blind even the wisest, I guess it is some kind of true. You know this guy for 3 years and from what you described about him, he somehow flirt with a gal he has been dating for 3 months and flirt with you at same time, I will be blunt saying that somehow this guy still don't know what he wants clearly, he is in confusion. Now imagine that if you were to go back in relationship with him? Will he treat you like he did to this gal he has been dating for 3 months?He can date this gal while flirt with you at same time , there is no guarantee he won't do this kind of thing to you later on when you both in relationship right?

How old are you? How long did you actually date before all this future talk of marriage and kids and such? You may have been great friends but seem to make a lousy couple, but I suspect its more about youth than anything else, and this seems like a new couple who haven't done the work of developing communications enough to talk instead of argue. Leave him alone, and get over him like you have the other guys.

Comment on LightCross's post

Thanks for you help!

Comment on talaniman's post

Im young, and we dated for a month before. And Thanks I will do so!

You should ask him whetehr he really does still love you and tell him to be more straight on instead of letting the situation hanging like this.If he doesn't want to enter relationship with you then forget about him and move on and tell him not to flirt with you and all,close your chapter with him, if he still wants to be with you then it is time to reopen new chapter with him. Because if it keeps hanging like this it would be bad for you both, for your part you will keep thinking about him and wondering whether he still want to be with you or not which stressing you out, as for his part he won't ever learn to be more straight and consistent aboout things and that is immature if I can say.

I think he just likes you enough to flirt, but not enough to be a couple. Its your own infatuation that has you hoping he feels like you do, but he does not. Its also obvious that you both are way to young to be talking about forever and marriage and kids, and you argued too much.

But you are right, if he did comeback, what would be different? I suspect the same arguing would be there, and the same thing would happen again. A break up! He likes many girls, especially his ex, and flirts and teases them all. You are but one, so know this and don't get carried away by your feelings for him, because I think he doesn't feel as you do.

Forget him, and let your heart heal, and he won't be able to stir those feelings in you so easily.

You guys may be friends but you are not couple material.
You know how he is. He is a flirt and hops back and forth between girls.
Leave him alone, get the boyfriend thing with him out of your head it is useless.

Thanks, this really helped mee a lot

Thank you so much! And I agree

Thanks for alll your help!

Threads merged

Background
Ok ME and this boy had been going out for a while, we fell in love (well i know i did idk about him, he might of been just saying but then again idk because he said it first.) anyways as time passed we slowly drifted away and began getting in arguments over crazy stuff, eventually we broke up. Now he talks to other girls but isn't dating anyone and time to time he flirts with me, kiss at me when i look at him and calls me the nickname he gave me while we were dating. This really confuses and hurts me because sometimes he does all that and then other times its like we don't know each other. I really need to know weather he still likes me or not because i freaking love this boy.
Problem
I know if a person doesn't like you then there's nothing you can do about it but I don't know what it is about this boy but I have never been stuck on a boy this long. Its like every time I'm almost over him, or have moved on he will come by me and start flirting.
Question
I don't know how to tell him how I feel. What should I do?

He isn't interested, he's essentially messing with you. You need to tell him that if he's not interested, he needs to just leave you alone.

First off I am 14, years odl and in the 8th grade I don't really know where to start but I guess I start from the beginning. Me and this boy had known each other for three years and in November of 2010 we finnaly decided to go out, we were the perfect couple, we were so happy until one day we got in a stupid argument and that was it we broke up. When we broke up I told him, that nomatter what I would always love him and always have his back, and I kept my word we broke up in December and ever since then we have never stopped talking and messing around he has been trying to get back with me but I told him I wanted to wait until high school. We have a very close relationship, I love this boy so much that I always want him to be happy even if his happiness didn't include me. Like when he would be having trouble with the other girls I would give him advice of how to fix it even though sometimes I would just want to break down and cry. Anyway after his past relationship didn't work out he just started to just settle down with me and wait until high school like I had planned, well we were alll in love and everything was great and then the other day he saidd that he was tired of waiting because he knew that I was the one and if I didn't want any drama then we could just keep it to ourself. So I gave in and we started going out again, I am so regretting that. I don't know why but somebody keeps making up stuff and going tell him I said it and he asks me about and I deny it but sometimes I think he wonders. Anyway last night I had family night and my aunts and mom always make us turn off our phone so I couldn't text him until after, so when everything was over I turned on my phone and started texting him, he seemed kindah of upset then I asked him what he was doing and he said thinking and I know every time he say he is thinking it ends up something bad so I was just like olee lord thinking about what and he said do you really want to know and I said yes then when I got the message back saying what he was doing I idmedially started crying because he said I was thinking about Jasmine, now jasmine is one of his Ex's from his last relationship. At this point I was worried so I txted back saying wow. So what does this mean. And he sent back saying he doesn't mean anything the song that remind me of her just came on. So I'm like why iis he telling me thiss so I sent back well does that mean you want to get back with her and he didn't reply so I sent it again and said be honest just tell me and he got mad and sent back I am being honest f*** if I isn't want to be with you I wouldn't. So I was like OK and why are you getting mad I just askedd because you didn't reply. So he was just llike I'm just gone talk to you later. OMG! I really don't understand why he is mad because if anybody is mad it should be me, but I'm not because I understand that he loved her and they have memories there isn't anything I can do about it so I'm not tripping. And today he was acting distant like we were still flirting and had a few hugs but he didn't kiss me today and that's strange because he gets mad when I don't kiss him. All of this is really confusing because I have never did this boy wrong and I have still been by his side after all the stuff I have been through with him, and no other girl loves him the way I do and don't put up with everything I put up with, they all left him but I'm still here looking stupid still being by his side. I honestly don't know what to do because I love this boy with alll my heart.And it just really hurts me to my heart because he knows how I feel about him but he still acts this way. I need help what should I do?

This is very BLUNT

You are sure starting drama over things that scare you and make you feel bad, because you are to young to really understand them, and he is to young to know how you are so he does dumb immature things that freak you out.

Normal for young people playing grown up games but still getting carried away by their young feelings.

Relax will you, just because he thinks of others, which is normal, he is with you. And a mature couple would have handled things differently. At 14 you guys aren't at that level yet, so you both make the normal immature mistakes. But right now you are just to immature to appreciate his honesty, he could have said "I am not thinking of anything in particular", and this would never have happened, right. But he will learn, and so will you.

Now forget this and go back to being happy and enjoy each other.