Today seems like the worst day of my life. And I have to be totally honest - I feel as though I did it to myself.

My ex-fiance told me to move out a week and a half ago.

Here's what happened. I constantly needed his attention and love. Our relationship started and continued with us hanging out all the time - we were also best friends. My constant want for him around was what the relationship had always been. Dealing with the change of us not hanging out all the time was for some reason weird to me - because I expected... hey he wants to marry me, we should be wanting to hang out!

On Monday night of last week - he wasn't paying attention to me at all and didn't say hi when he walked in the door after taking his friend home. I got upset and started with an attitude and he reacted with one. The situation escalated and escalated until I snapped his cell phone in half and hit him. SCARY and not normal behavior for me. I never can walk away from a fight, but it always calms down. We bickered a lot before this - he's italian, I'm irish. Both loud, both came from loud families.

Here is where the problem comes in. After this fight - he obviously left and went with his friend. I stayed at my mothers, knowing that I had taken it too far. Knowing that I had lost my best friend and lover. The next day, he told me "stay away for the next two days and maybe then we can talk about moving forward." ---The thing is.. I couldn't stay away, I kept going back... I woke up in the middle of the night, missed him and went over to the house! Hoping for some type of "baby I missed you too - were good now!"

Obviously this didn't happen - he was pissed and it just led to another fight. The day after that... I went over, he said "alright, whatever, you're back lets just make dinner. We also had sex. Things seemed to be getting better, unless we brought up the fight. He couldn't actually forgive me. This indecision led to more crying from me, and saying that id do anything for him.

I've kept going back and kept going back to the house, sometimes when he knows and sometimes out of nowhere. I keep going from being pissed off at him, to being pissed off at myself, to being so in love with him that I have to see him so I can maybe get the "baby I missed you too its all going to be OK".

I literally have begged, pleaded, cried, been mean and nasty and then begged again. 5 minutes ago i literally send him a message saying "just love me, trust me, let me come home." - He called and sayed "don't send messages like that, it makes me feel bad, and I can't forgive you... my will won't let me. I love you, I have forgiven you, but I can't let you come home. I don't want you here."

So - the question is - how the hell do I get my dignity back after so many emotional episodes like that? How do I move on from this.

You need to find out why you are so dang clingy!! No offense, but it is time to get some counseling, you obviously have issues that you need to correct!!

Your lucky that your boyfriend didn't call the police and have you arrested for domestic abuse!! Not only would you be emotionally upset but have a record.

You have been asked by the man that you LOVE, to give him some space after you PHYSICALLY ASSAULTED HIM, and what do you do, why you do the mature thing and keep Harassing HIM!!

Wanting to have someone with at all times is NOT A HEALTHY ADULT relationship. You are individuals, with different needs,hopes,wants --as a couple you should want to enhance those qualities, to encourage personel growth.

I know I need to find those things out. Here's what I've figured out so far: 1.My family is all up in each others business and we all know everything about each other. 2. He cheated on me early in the relationship, so I felt the need to be around.

But we did enhance the good qualities in each other. That's a big part of why it worked so long and I still believe it could work. Because this was an isolated incident. I can be not clingy - I just want him to see it through and give me that chance.

You are STALKING him.

Get a life WITHOUT him.

He's not going to miss you if you NEVER GO AWAY!

How about having a normal, healthy life that doesn't involve NEEDING someone else?

I highly suggest counseling. You are not in a healthy state of mind to be in a relationship.

Stop being so impulsive and carried away by your own feelings. You are out of control, and overwhelming. Leave him alone while you get yourself under control. Then you can get your dignity back. And stop acting like a crazy whack job.

You will be frustrating him as well as annoying him by being all over him. He needs to breathe and feel less suffocated by you. Time will tell if you will be able to move on from this incident. Personally I doubt it, once physical violence is involved, even if it is only the once, that kind of breaks down all of foundations that being in the relationship has built up and then trying to reestablish that might be tricky. Note not impossible. But less of him more of you, you def need to do things for you, get a life without him, and you may even find that you don't want him...

Phycho is what my friend called me I was allover him, he despised me for it. Two suggestions, grow up and get a life woman... he isn't ua property