My boyfriend can be very selfish at times, like if he has a problem I'm there for him straight away, if he needs to go somewhere (he has social anxiety)and he's afraid of going alone I will go with him every time and if I don't want to go I feel incredibly guity for saying no and I usually end up going anyway because I feel so bad, but he has no problems telling me no, if I ask for him to accompany me somewhere he'll tell me no straight out with no feeling of guilt, then I get upset and threaten to end our relationship because he's never emotionally there for me, if there's nothing in it for him then he doesn't want to do it, he won't just do something because its me... or just out of the good of his heart, why? Other than that he's lovely, he's really affectionate and loving and I love him and he loves me, but he's a bit immature and I'm his first real girlfriend, (im 23 and he's 24) which gives me a lot of fears because I feel like he doesn't know what real love is and I'm just a test trial for when "she" does come along, where together just over a year now. His friends don't like me because I'm a "nag" none of them know what its like to be with someone with social anxiety (when he sees his friends he will drink first), its really hard, we can't make plans because he might get a fear of going, so no buying tickets for gigs or concerts and I've really learned to get a lot of patience being with him. But I want the same emotional needs he get from me. I'm not even sure what my question is, I guess I've got a few problems there that I needed to say.

It doesn't sound like this relationship makes you feel secure, and that comes out in a lot of different behaviors. His anxiety issues and need to drink before social events are something that only he can address. Remember that you can both be wonderful people, but in a bad match. Wouldn't it be more pleasant to be with someone and feel like you bring out the best in each other?

Everyone needs someone and if you are a lifetime caretaker for everyone around you and spend your live NOT being able to say "NO" when you need to, it will create a WHOLE lot of other issues. Trust me. Been there, done that... and not done yet. I am still in seeking counseling because of it. Everything from controlling drug addict alcoholic family members and friends to people who want advice on every step in their life. You end up realizing there was no one you could or did count on for support and an actual relationship. DO NOT get yourself to this point. It is VERY good at this age you are questioning this situation. I am not a Dr. so I am sure the experts will respond. I am merely sharing the result of experiences as one very positive happy human to another. I cannot blame anyone for the result. I had to change the way I think. I am not there yet. But I will be. I wish you the best in doing the same.

Belgia is right, not being able to stand up for yourself is an issue beyond this relationship, and is likely to be carrying through into other relationships, workplaces, friendships, family. Being assertive is a skill, you can learn it, you can change the thinking behind why you are so uncomfortable to say no to this man and possibly anyone else..

This is a great article on assertiveness:
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=240&np=298&id=2077

One thing that is a bit confusing here, is when you say he isn't emotionally there for you. I daresay he has just as little an idea of what that means too. What exactly are you after? Maybe if you can be more specific for him?