I got drunk 5 days ago with my best friend's boyfriend and ended up doing things with him I feel absolutely horrible cause not only is she my best friend but so is her boyfriend. I had to tell her cause I literally tell her everything she's like my sister and I knew if she found out later she would kill me even more... so I told her and I apologized so many times all in one sentence but she said she needed time away from me and him. I don't know what to do either cause I'm around this girl 24/7 I go to sleep crying and wake up crying I'm even having thoughts of suicide I know this sounds crazy but I don't know what to do I NEED her to forgive me. I know I screwed up and people make mistakes I just wish she knew how I felt.

What the heck is wrong with you? Where is your self-respect? You really should be ashamed of yourself.

Don't be surprised if she choses NOT to forgive you, because you have hurt her in the worst possible way! Even if she were to forgive you, she'd never be able to trust you again.

Was it worth losing your best friend over?

She does know how you feel, but you need to know how she feels as well. You as her best friend did not respect her boyfriend boundaries, and her boyfriend cheated on her with you. This is one of the most untrustworthy things you can possibly do to a person, and sometimes there's no going back. She is most likely feeling the same way about her boyfriend too, and at this point it might be weeks or months before things can be normal again. It will be a long road back to recovery -if- she forgives you. It takes years and years to rebuild trust, especially after something like that.