I am married with 2 children, ages 3 and 4. My husband was diagnosed bipolar this year. He tried medication and there was improvement in his demeanor, however the medication made him shake uncontrollably, so he has stopped taking any and has gone back to his irrational, unpredictable ways. Our relationship is very shaky, I am cussed and degraded continually, yes in front of the children. I have been pushed to the ground, kicked, and have had my hair pulled out in the past. He has a tendency to freak out, I have even called an ambulance for him out of concern, but he sent them away. Most of our arguments are only verbal and very loud. It scares my kids, naturally. He has busted door frames and put holes in the walls. I feel very stuck because he has a position of control over me, as far as money, transportation, and time, where and when I go and how long I am gone for. We are only a one vehicle family. I am cautious as not to "set him off". My Dad has relocated from Florida and lives with us, he is 76. This arrangement has really made things worse. I want to pack my stuff up and move Me, my Dad, and my kids to Florida. I know it is a big move, but I feel it is the only way to protect myself and my kids. I know from previous attempts to separate (before kids and marriage) that he will continually stalk and harrass me. I just want to make a clean break and I am not sure how I need too proceed, especially where the law is concerned. I do not want to just leave and then him be able to come after me for kidnapping or something. What steps must I take to put my plan into action?

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Originally Posted by pamiaml

I am married with 2 children, ages 3 and 4. My husband was diagnosed bipolar this year. He tried medication and there was improvement in his demeanor, however the medication made him shake uncontrollably, so he has stopped taking any and has gone back to his irrational, unpredictable ways. Our relationship is very shaky, I am cussed and degraded continually, yes in front of the children. I have been pushed to the ground, kicked, and have had my hair pulled out in the past. He has a tendancy to freak out, I have even called an ambulance for him out of concern, but he sent them away. Most of our arguments are only verbal and very loud. It scares my kids, naturally. He has busted door frames and put holes in the walls. I feel very stuck because he has a position of control over me, as far as money, transportation, and time, where and when I go and how long I am gone for. We are only a one vehicle family. I am cautious as not to "set him off". My Dad has relocated from Florida and lives with us, he is 76. This arrangement has really made things worse. I want to pack my stuff up and move Me, my Dad, and my kids to Florida. I know it is a big move, but I feel it is the only way to protect myself and my kids. I know from previous attempts to seperate (before kids and marriage) that he will continually stalk and harrass me. I just want to make a clean break and I am not sure how I need too proceed, especially where the law is concerned. I do not want to just leave and then him be able to come after me for kidnapping or something. What steps must I take to put my plan into action?

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Have you called the police when he is being physically aggressive? Are any of his violent outbursts documented? Without proof, you're going to have a hard time claiming he's violent in front of a judge; most parents will lie in Family Court to try and get their way. The next time he begins to act out, call the police.

I have also started journaling instances, I have taken photos of damage he has done to the house in his outburst as well, now I am going to start gathering all the documentations of the past, but I'm really not sure what to do after that...

Get the first comment? I haven't called police in over 5 years because he was on probation and I didn't want to make things worse for my family as he is our major source of income but there is documentation from the past and obviously he has a record...

If there's no 3rd party documentation of the physical abuse, there's no proof he is the one causing it. Your husband could allege that YOU are the one with the anger issues, not him - he could say you damage the property and then took pictures of it, trying to frame him. People lie in family court on a daily basis.

I don't care if he's on probation; if he's threatening you and/or your children, the police need to be called. You're not "helping" anyone by allowing him to do this.

If there is no proof that he is dangerous and/or harmful to the children, odds are he'll be awarded joint legal custody and some form of visitation. You can't make a "clean break" because as far as the court is concerned, these are his children too and he has rights. That's why you need to document and call the police when necessary.