I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 monthhs. I recently moved about 6 months ago. I met him and we instantly fell in love. We both have had boyfriends and girlfriends in the past, but they weren't anything like this. All our old relationships never lasted long. My boyfriend makes me EXTREMELY happy. We can talk about anything and everything.
But some times he gets really jealous. I don't have many friends here. Except his. Which are all dudes. He says I'm flirting with them if I sit next to them or hug them. And another REALLY good friends of mine is also a guy. He is really shy and doesn't really talk to anyone. I went roller skating with him today. And my boyfriend knew. He said that he was extremely jealous. My parents like my boyfriend a lot. But he doesn't think that. My mom jokes around a lot. And he takes it seriously.
I do a lot to keep him happy. But when he goes to parties and does a lot of things, and says that it was fun. But I'm not allowed to do it. One day I asked him why. He said because some one has to control me. I said "yeah. that person is me" and he said "well you are doing a bad job and making mistakes. You are unorganized, you don't say hi to my mom first,you laugh when your mom jokes around about me. You hang out with other guys. "and I just said whatever and apologized for my so called mistakes.
He says he likes how I'm not preppy as the other girls. I am anything but preppy. I skateboard, sing, love screamo music, and I have pink in my hair. He says he loves me for me.. but yet he wants to try to change me. Especially my paranoia. I get scared of getting in trouble easy. And he tells me to get over it. Pulls me into the back to make out. He gets frustrated when I tell him no.
Besides from the controlling and jealousy, he's an amazing boyfriend. He turns down events for me, buys me things, gets along with my brother, makes me feel special, celebrates our monthaversary even if he thinks its childish. But sometimes he controls me. And I want to make him happy. I just don't want him controlling my life.
Help?

Have fun for now, because I have a feeling when you are not so starry eyed in love you will not allow him to control you, nor will you be so willing to kiss his butt to keep him. He has an advantage now because, you haven't made a lot of friends yet, but you will, and as you start to do your own thing without him, I doubt he will be such an amazing boyfriend, its just now, your choices are limited, and you have very little to compare the time with him to.

You have put up with his crap so far, but I doubt you will do so for much longer. You sound to confident, and self assured to let anyone control you for long.

I'm speaking from the heart, "control" this bothers me, I personally believe this is something one should
Not let others be in charge of. You my dear should decide what it is you want, and figure out how to get it.
Look deeper and decide,"I know it's hard right now" is this what I really want for the rest of my life?

Let him know that you are not to be controlled and if he continues you will leave him. DO NOT GET WEAK! Because he'll try to make you feel bad for saying it... but if you don't back down then he'll work harder to gain your trust and care back... if not then he isn't the guy for you.

I am in exactly the same situation. My boyfriend gets jealous and tries to conrol me. Im not even aloud talking or txting other guys. I have hardly any friends.
He gets angry over very small things and tries breaking up with me but we always fix it. I love him so much and I wouldn't be able to live without him.

I am in constant fear that I am going to do something that will make him push me away.
They way I deal with it is constantly remind him that we are living to lives not one. When he tells me he's going to a party I say I'm going to a party, and if he doesn't like it he has to stay at home. Lately it had got better because I enforced this on him as soon as he makes me feel uncomfortable. Jealousy is something a lot of guys go through, I'm not saying that taking it is good, tell him that stuff he does makes you feel jealous so he knows how it feels to treat you like that. I know it sounds abit harsh but it seems to have worked for me. Hopefully this helps.

Well cupcake, from what you have said so far, now don't take this wrong,I was young once too."be your
own person" try to look at your situation from the outside and see that you need to take charge.
I don't want to talk negatively about anyone, but possibly you are giving way more than you are receiving.
If you are afraid of losing him,maybe you want him more than he wants you. Back off on the giving part
And see what happens. I know it sounds old school but sometimes it works.

If he is the "best thing" you have no idea what good is. In a real caring and loving relationship, there is no control, there is not hate and more.

Wow, this sounds exactly like my sister's last relationship. He was totally cute, nice and gave me presents like flowers and balloon, but he got jealous of EVERYTHING I did. Apparently, I wasn't allowed to hang out with ANY of my friends (even girls)!! Every night he called me and got all upset and jealous about me hanging out with her and him. And we fought. He'd hang up on me, but I would call him back and apologize because I thought I wouldn't be able to live without him. I thought I loved him, but I was finally able to open my eyes and notice how much of an *** he was!! So dump him, he's way too controlling... but be careful, because guys like him can become really clingy and stalkerish... yeah, so good luck!!

It seems to me like this guy doesn't understand the good things he has. My boyfriend of nine months is the same way, and I've been doing everything I can to change it from the beginning. It never changes, never gets better, only gets worse unless you give him an ultimatum.

My boyfriend is exactly like this! We've been going out for three months today and he is just so controlling and gets jealous at every single little thing! I've been considering breaking up with him so much recently because I just can't take him questioning me any time I even just speak too or see any other boy! But then, when I go to do it he acts all nice and apologetic and I remember why I liked him in the first place! Maybe you should just take some time just to stop and think about the relationship! Distance yourself from him for a while, don't talk as much for a bit. Then you'll be able to realize what you had and if you miss it when it's gone. Then you'll know if it's worth staying with him or not. This is what I think I'm going to do, hope it helps!

I think you need your own life away from this guy. I had a similar problem and he got jealous so quickly this guy I was with and he would do terrible things when he was jealous... threatened me before and acted out of control in the street. He would ignore me for months on end and then if I spoke about another guy I had been dating he would go mad literally like a loney. You just don't need this! I spoke to friends about this and realised he was really crazy.