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Me and my boyfriend had a long story.In the beginning of our relationship he was really mean and cruel to me and I kept hoping that he'd change.I tried to break up with him many times and even found someone new but I kept me coming every time,until I definetely broke up with him.I was decided to definetely let him go but then one day before Christmas's eve I agreed to see him and we went out and decided to give it a try again,he said he wanted to be the man I needed and wanted to make me happy,then a couple hours later he texted me saying he wants me to be happy and he can't make me happy so it's best I find someone else but I could tell he was lying because he was never selfless in the past plus,he told me he had met an interesting girl days earlier,so I knew he wanted to give the other girl a try.I forced him to say he'd keep his decision forever and he couldn't so I made the choice for him.

I no longer miss him,and I don't like him,but I can't get away from all the hurt he brought me.And I feel so jealous.I was genuinely a nice girlfriend to him for a year,until I got fed up.I remember everything about him,I tried my best to take care of him and give him the things he liked,he always got his way,and then when I broke up with him I had two committed guys hitting on me while he found someone.And he doesn't deserve it.In the beginning he never said I was pretty and kept comenting on one of his friend's girlfriend because she looked really good and he never took me out with his friends,I never had good self esteem and now I have even less.I feel so empty.I can't believe I spent a year living for him and now he doesn't realise my value in his life.This isn't fair.I feel ugly and I don't know what more to do because he brought me so much pain,out of selfishness I want him to miss me and hurt and miss what he has lost.I don't know what to do about myself because life seems tasteless.

I feel your pain I went through a similar thing being w my boyfriend for 3 years on && off but time will be your best friend, at first you will feel this emptyness this feeling where nothing matters but with time you will feel better. You will start smiling and living of course you will have times where you are feeling down but that will pass by and you will start loving life.

If he started mean and cruel, and you were the one trying the most, and putting out all the effort to accommodate him, and he (obvioulsy) didn't reciprocate, you can be sure that he hasn't changed his spots.

The next girlfriend will find herself in the same spot you are in now. And the next, and the next after that.

A relationship, no matter how bad, that comes to an end, is still a loss. It takes time to realize that it is over for all the right reasons. Using this time to evaluate yourself, and why you settled for so little in return for giving so much, will be well worth the effort.

Obviously you can give love, but have a problem accepting love in return; perhaps that is why you ended up with him in the first place. He was not the type of man to treat you, the way you were able to treat him.

You ARE deserving of being treated well, and with respect, and yourself esteem will grow, when you allow yourself to realize that you are worth loving. List your qualities, even in reference to how you tried with this last relationship, and then list the qualities you want in a mate. Hopefully you will see that what you give, is also what you want in return.

Set the bar higher for yourself. Expect a better quality man in your life, and don't settle for someone who uses you. When your needs are not being met, be a little quicker to recognize signs that you are giving (again), far more than you are receiving.

And, be happy that you aren't left with 2 toddlers, a mortgage and maxed out credit cards.

You will be surprised what good things happen when u move on. You can let him go and the emptyness does not last. TRUST ME! There are support groups and social services in your area that can help u with the financial crisis areas. Meantime, counseling is a good source to get YOU back. I wish you well.

The pain isn't going away but like you said I think I need to wait and it'll eventually get better... And we never lived together so I depend on him for money or anything.And he sent me a message on New Year's eve asking if I wanted to be with him and spend New Year's eve with him.I didn't answer,but it just goes to prove that he didn't leave me for my own happiness.

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I never had a good self image but now myself esteem seems to be at its lowest point.I usually compare myself a lot to other girls and I never feel pretty.I try to look good by watching how pretty girls dress and trying to dress the same but in the end of the day I'm just a regular girl and I don't feel beautiful.And I don't even have a good sense of fashion and have a hard time pulling something stylish out of my wardrobe.My last boyfriend made me feel compared to another girl when we were together,the problem isn't about him now but his comments really made me feel down and now I just think trying to look pretty it's pointless because I never will.And now I have someone to compare myself to and obviously I know I can't look good like her because I'm just a regular girl with no good lucks.And when I buy new clothes and try them on it's still bad because I don't look pretty in them.This is a terrible feeling,but I can't pull outside beauty from within me.I think I really need someone from the outside to tell me I'm beautiful and to make me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world because I can't get the same approval for myself.

OK... but there's a Catch 22 here. You won't find anyone to see you as the most beautiful woman in the world as long as you feel so down on your looks. Do you really want a guy who says that? I'm not sure I'd believe anything he said if he told me that. 'I love you more than anyone in the world,' now that's a heck of a lot more important, no?
When you fall in love the object of your affections morphs right before your eyes and you aren't even aware of it. When it happens, you WILL be beautiful. Stop putting the cart before the horse.
I worried about every little bump as a teen, and all my friends grew breasts and I didn't. I suppose it's impossible to tell a young woman all the self esteem stuff and inner beauty and all that.
Now, 50 years later, people look at pictures of me as a teen and say 'wow was that you?' Try to appreciate your lack of wrinkles and frizzy hair and sagging boobs and butt and chin while you can.
As for clothes... why not be different? Try something no one has worn before. If someone makes a catty remark, say 'just wait, you'll see.'
Look into yourself - how does your mother see herself? And you? My mother wasn't much help with any self esteem, so it took years and years. You may have to rely on one really close friend.

Makes sense... but how am I going to reel someone in when I don't look pretty?That's my problem here... Of course the man who loves me is going to think I'm the most beautiful woman alive.. and that's what I want.But no one will love if they're not atracted.. and atraction starts from the outside.And also I always think there are so many beautiful people and here I am and I'm just regular.What if I find someone and he wants someone pretty?
And yes,I'm 19... and it's hard to understand all that self esteem stuff because it doesn't ring true when you keep comparing (and being compared to others).And I have small breasts too by the way lol.

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My ex boyfriend and I had a really long story,just to sum it up,he was never a good boyfriend and lied a lot and never wanted me to meet his parents or go out with his friends and wanted to have sex at all times.I put with it for one year because I really loved him,then I got fed up and started treating him bad and then broke up with him.Then one day again we went out and he said he would try to be better for me etc and we agreed on being together again.Then when I got home a couple hours later he texted me saying he doesn't want to make me unhappy and it's best I find someone new,but I knew he was lying because he was always selfish and he had told he had met a new girl that same week.I'd say he needed to make the choice of not being with me forever and he started backing away so I made the decision for him.Then a week later on new year's eve he texted me asking if I wanted to be with him for new year's but I didn't answer.
The thing is,I tried to shut him off from my life.But now he's the one shutting me off.He said in his personal page he had the best new year's eve ever and then I deleted one of my comments from his page and then he made his page personal.A couple days I thought I had seen him on the train and texted him asking if it was him and he replied saying he wasn't and then no more talking.I did these small things to see if I could get a reaction from him,but I'm not getting anything.And I want him to miss me so bad.. for a whole year I tried to be the best girlfriend I could,despite all the things he did to me he always got what he wanted,he never gave me anything back,now he sends me away just because he wants to fool around,and this is so unfair.I know I need to ignore him but I just want to get a reaction from him,it's not about getting him back into my life because I don't want that,it's about him owing me for all the things I did to him.I feel so bad my stomach hurts and I fint it hard to eat and I can't focus on my studies,I used to have guys chasing me and I sent everyone away to be him and now I'm alone while he's probably dating around.I just want him to miss me,I did everything to make him happy,how can he just forget about everything?

Forget it! I literally mean forget what he owes you, forget what you have done for him, forget all of that stuff, because it only prolongs the misery and pain that you are suffering.

Very hard to rebuild yourself when yo cannot let go, and still wanting things from him. Just forget it, because you are only distracting yourself from a long needed proper healing.

Sure it sucks, we have all been there before, and this is never about the ex, or the break up, but about how hard it is to accept the rejection (most times that of an idiot), and rebuild a life without them.

New friends, or old, family, and activities we have neglected will make you stop feelings of a hard bitter break up (all break ups suck, even the mutual ones, and the ones where you both still like, and respect each other, doesn't matter) so you can be happy without them. Most times these break ups are a blessing in disguise because they actually clear the rubbish, and clutter of your life, and gives you a fresh chance at something better. You will see as you accept this breakup, let go of it and heal, you WILL be doing better than you were before, and that's a plus, and opportunity, to find the right guy that appreciates and DESERVES you.

So do something good for yourself, and forget him. Let the love for yourself shine from within. because you are happy with yourself, and your life, and that will attract someone who wants to share it with you.

The problem here,is that I'm not happy with myself... I gave him my all and in the end I'm the one who can't eat and cries everyday and spends all day obsessing over him and using about four different websites to vent my sadness because I can no longer talk to my friends because they don't pitty me any longer,they just think I'm dumb,all this while I should be studying.

And I know what I'm doing wrong.. I know everything I'm doing wrong,but I feel I can't do anything about it,and sometimes I just need someone to shine a light so that I can feel better for a couple minutes.

And people tell me to get over hi,and I understand that's what I need to do,but this feels like an unfinished business.Because I gave him so much and he never gave it back to me.Would you let it go if someone owed you money-a big sum of money,like a thousand dollars?I opened my heart to him and he never opened his.Maybe the problem is that I don't lend money,I give money for free?

I'm not happy with myself,and I see interesting people everyday,but they never approach me.I used to have guys after me and I was never the one who intitated anything,now no one comes near me,plus I'm living with my grandma who doesn't let me go out clubbing and that's what most of my friends do.My real close friends just gather around in small groups and have dinner and it's always us and no one new.And I have never neglected anything,because he never made me a part of his life,so I didn't need to change much about mine to fit in his.

I really want to find the right guy,and I know that this way,I'm not leaving him any room for him to enter,sadly...

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,I keep nothing but bad memories of him.We broke up about 4 months ago and we have spoken a bit here and there and he has said it hurts to think about me, I ask him if he's with someone because I don't want him to get over me, he texts when he's a bit down and wants some comfort,but I think we both know it's impossible. He says it's impossible because when relationships are broken they're never the same again(though we have broken up once and I have given him second chances), I say it's impossible because I really don't like who he is.

Today I started texting him and we talked a bit about our lives.He says he's changed,and part of me wants to believe him, but I think he's lying because I think he still smokes pot and lies to his parents and I have heard him say he'll change many many times before.

And talking with him hurts because it reminds me of all the things he made me feel, especially regarding his friends, he didn't want me to meet them and I have always thought it's because I'm not pretty and he was ashamed of me, especially because one of his friends ex girlfriend is really pretty and he always said she dressed well and everyone stared at her and I'm not like her.

Also,it doesn't seem like he's very interested in talking to me or at least not as much as I wish he was. So,I don't like who he is as a person. He reminds me of all the things I wished I had but can't,like being pretty and atractive. But I can't let him forget about me because for a long time he was my priority and he didn't even pay attention to me when I talked. I want to make things even, but it's impossible,I can't erase him but I can't keep him either, I though talking with him would make me feel better but it only made me cry-and I haven't cried in a while.

What can I do?

Stop contacting him and stop responding to him when he tries to contact you.

You have nothing but bad memories of him... you really don't like who he is... you know he is a liar... he doesn't seem interested in talking to you... talking with him hurts... talking with him makes you cry.

Why would you want to continue to put yourself through all of that?

It is time to put this relationship in the past and learn from it. It causes you pain, it is not fun, it does not make you happy, it is not good for you.

Think of the things that you don't like about him, and how you don't like feeling with him and what you would rather be feeling. Then you will have a better idea of what to look for when the opportunity for a new guy comes into your life.