I'm 18 and a virgin ( had no sex with man or woman at all )
I thought that I'm a lesbian cause I'd a few girlfriends in my secondary school.
I don't know how does it feel like when having sex with a man or a woman. So, I'm clueless. I cannot imagine myself having sex with anyone. But, I always feel like, I'll try to satisfy him/her if I can really find the one whom I really love with true love?? (I don't even know about love very well. My bad). But, then I cannot continue with the thought about having sex with man anymore. Cause I don't want to. I am not mentally interested in male. I don't find them attractive at all. I don't even think about kissing a man. And I always dream about having a sweet and long last relationship with a girlfriend who does really love me.
Anyway, I sometimes do masturbate and at those times, I think about man. I cannot satisfy with the imagination with lesbian sex. Especially oral sex, I find it so dirty. I've never imagined about myself licking a ***** or sucking a ****. I feel so guilty and dirty when I think about it. So, I just fantasized about myself being penetrated by a man. ( at this point I've a clue. I watch porn sometimes, so I know how it is and I was turned on when I saw the heterosexual porn. But when I see lesbian porn, I can't stand it and roll my eyeballs away from it as I found it disgusting ) But, when I watch the Lworld or some lesbian movies by chance, I like it, really enjoy them. I was really turned on by those movies and then start to masturbate and end up with thinking about porn with guys. ( I think porn and sex in the movies are really different and can give different feelings to the audiences ) But, if anyone ask me to marry a guy and have children, NO WAY. I don't want a real sex with Men.
So, what am I?
I love girls (mentally attracted to them)
I want to marry a girl (serious about being in a lesbian relationship and attracted by girls)
I hate (real) oral sex and having sex with men.
I like the way men can satisfy the women and I'm worry that what if I'm not satisfied by girls?
I think it's time to know my body well and my sexual orientation because I know that it can effect my relationships and friendships.
I lives like a tomboy but exactly like a man. ( tomboys are not lesbians as people know )
I know that I'm not bisexual, my belief is "I'm a lesbian".
What should I do with it. I want to stop watching porn also. I hate myself for that :(
I just want to be who I am. I still have a lot of time to figure out, I know but, there's a girl who's currently waiting for me, but I don't love her and I've to let her know what I really am.
I fell like, it's time to have an exact answer.
Hope, if you have the same feeling as me, you'll share your experiences. Please, Everybody, I'm waiting for the advices :)
I do appreciate you all. So, no hate comments, please. Thank you so much!

Why would anyone send you a hate comment. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to hate about you <3.

Sounds to me like you are confused and need to explore your sexuality a little. Meaning that when you are ready to have sex you might want to try it with both sexes (not at the same time LOL, that's not what I mean. Unless you want that as well... ).

You have your WHOLE life ahead of you to figure out who you are, there is NO RUSH even if there is a girl waiting on you to find out if you want her or not... TOO BAD FOR HER. Please don't get pressured. You need to have your first loyalty to YOURSELF. You'll get around to what she need MAYBE and IF you've deal with yourself FIRST.

You are your FIRST best friend. It's really important to do that for yourself. Be there for YOU first, k? Everyone else comes after...

(Can I ask you this question without you getting offended.. ) Is it possible that your religion/beliefs (or the way your parents raised you... ) contributes to the negative way that you see lesbian sex? (Please don't take that question as a judgement). It seems to me that you are open minded in your heart to having relations/relationships to both sexes but your MIND is censoring you.

Also, there is NOTHING wrong with watching porn... unless you're obsessing in it and unable to stop, like it's taking over your life. Masterbating to porn is perfectly healthy... BOTH sexes find pleasure in that. Maybe you've been told differently? I hope not.

"Life is a journey..." and with that comes exploration. The best advice anyone can give you is to not judge your own feelings about who you might or might not be. With an open mind and open heart try and accept yourself and explore your options. It takes time. This is not something you will discover over night. Be honest with yourself. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD so as to be around positive energy and acceptance. You are PERFECT just as you are. You really are!

(I'm a heterosexual married mom in her 40's and have an almost 18 year old daughter and everything I'm telling you I would tell to her).

Enjoy your exploration... you might as well it's not like you can make this go away... so go WITH IT. Xoxoxo I wish you well. Xoxoox <3 :)

It sounds like you are completely confused. No worries, you are probably young and that's how you are supposed to be, so your normal! Do not confuse your tastes in porn with your orientation. I have straight friends who love gay porn and gay friends who love straight porn, one has nothing to do with the other.

If you feel you are a lesbian, then go out and explore relationships with girls, be honest and let them know you are not sure you are comfortable with x, y, or z. but you like a, b, and c. whatever those might be.

I have one female friend who is a lesbian but she does not perform oral sex on her gf's because (her words) "vaginas look weird and smell funny."

Whatever is right for you, is right for you!

Thank you xoo much for such an encouraging answer. It means a lot to me. I hope I can be who I am and go out form the closet one day. At this moment, my society and current situation doesn't allow me to :(
Thank you Adthern, thank you

Oh, I wish my mom will understand me as much as you could when I come out with my sexual interest. (I can see that You really are a Good Mom) Your daughter is also very lucky. I wish all the best to you and your family ! :)

:-) anytime and be safe and find what makes you happy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by skioice

I'm 18 and a virgin.....
I hate (real) oral sex and having sex with men.

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Hello s:

The answer is SIMPLE.. You're YOUNG and a bit confused, which is what being young is all about... Things'll shape up. I understand totally. When I was your age, I could NEVER imagine that I would enjoy oral sex... How wrong I was...

excon

Thank you for your compliment, I appreciate it. Xo <3 <3 <3

It's easy for me to see how lovely you are because you simply are. You have to be able to accept that you are. Or LEARN that you are. You have the right to be who you are even if your parents have an issue with it.

The moment you're born you are who you are even if you've been raised to believe that you should be someone else. You are also born to be independent of your parents... (hopefully they get that and raise you accordingly... ) so you can take care of yourself and ownership of your journey in this life. Hopefully your family can be accepting of what you learn to be the truth about who you are... as you learn and grow. You wouldn't be the first girl to have parents that can't accept them... (and I hope that it doesn't go that way for you), but if it does you might have to recreat a new family with close friends who do accept you.

You get to be happy in this life. BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE IT. <3xo

Lolx really man... :D
Anyway, thanks a lot excon :)

Ok,auntie, I'll go for it. (you'r like my aunt). I am the only child and my grandparents from the both sides have only three (total) grandchildren. And I'm the oldest one. So, the whole bunch of the family members care me like... jail in heaven.

Thank you so much and I really feel so warm cause of you.
Please, may I call you auntie?

Don't go by the lesbian porn. Seriously... A LOT of lesbian couples do NOT have sex the way they do. I am a lesbian and have NEVER used any type of "toy." Some don't even do oral much. Different girls like different things. Some liked oral. Some like rubbing there bodies together and it's pretty much like hetero sex minus penetration. Some use there hands. It's not as common as you'd think to do it in the porn type of way... That is more directed towards the men who like watching lesbian porn and bi girls who are into both with the toys and all that. In real life with real lesbians it is generally less dirty than what you see in movies.