Well I have exhausted all options that I know of. My whole life I've wanted to kill myself, I can't join the military because they won't accept me because I need a medical waiver, I can't hold down a job and a lot of places won't hire me because of medication I've been taking. I finally got of zoloft after a year and I have taken prozac and sanorex before that. None of them do anything at all I feel the same way all the time. I have seen at least 4 different psychiatrists and 6 different psychologist. I have heard everything from it's your fault, to going to sessions about how to make a good resume. The only thing I have heard from everybody is that I am depressed. Three years of therapy and I am back where I started, and I still think about killing myself nearly all the time. The thought of letting everything go and slipping away into nothingness appeals to me so much, I just don't see the point in wasting effort bettering myself. The biggest thing is I know that if I do succeed and get into a spot where I can do damage to someone else's lively hood or life I know the worst thing will happen, it has always happened before.