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-   -   What can we do? My mom is always drunk, picking fights and hitting us. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=538419)

  • Dec 28, 2010, 01:10 PM
    Johann_Thor
    What can we do? My mom is always drunk, picking fights and hitting us.
    I'm 17, and my mom wasn't always like this until I was in 7th grade. She picked me up from school one time when she was completely drunk. She was arrested and sent to jail. She has been to rehab about 5-6 times. Every time she get's out, she's drinking within 24 hours. This year is my junior year, and things are worse than they've ever been. My mom is always drunk, she picking fights with me, my dad and my sisters. My dad is a lovable dad, he works two jobs so we can stay on top of things. My mom is always yelling at me, and everyone else about stupid things. When she's not yelling or fighting, she passes out in bed and sleeps all day. She even started hitting me about two days ago. I can“t stand this life anymore, I'm miserable and so is everyone else in my family.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 02:14 PM
    joypulv
    Your lovable dad is the one who has to handle this, with suggestions from you. He can start by not giving her a dime even for groceries, and letting you kids do the shopping. He can insist that she get help, at the very least AA several times a week, or else - and mean it. He can cut back on work to spend more time at home protecting his children, even if it means no one gets much in the way of clothes or shoes or books for a while, and no eating out or going to the movies. Work out a budget with him. You are old enough to have a big part in this but your dad is the one who has to take control.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 02:22 PM
    Enigma1999

    What does your Dad say or even do about this?
  • Dec 28, 2010, 02:48 PM
    answerme_tender

    Its time to have a talk with Dad! You need to tell him that your Mom has started hitting you. See what he has to advise. Tell him that you wanted to come to him about this situation before contacting your school counselor about the entire situation. Explain to him that you also know that he is having hard time, but he is the PARENT here and needs to step up.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 02:58 PM
    Hausfrau
    http://www.12stepforums.net/teens.html

    I grew up with a abusive alcoholic father. There were not as many resources then as there are now. I suggest you talk to your guidance counselor at school if you feel comfortable. Or find a online support group like the one for teens of alcoholics I listed above.
    Just be strong. Remember these are her choices which have absolutely nothing to do with your worth as a child. It sucks to be robbed of a happy childhood, The only thing worse would be to let her rob you of a future happy life.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 05:16 PM
    talaniman

    Al Anon Family Groups

    Another good source of support and advice.
  • Dec 29, 2010, 07:29 PM
    Hausfrau
    One more thing I would suggest. Find some normal families to hang with. Without a good example of what a healthy family-marriage looks like, you may unwittingly gravitate to what seems familiar.
    And in your, (and mine) case, familiar is not good. I wish I had had this piece of advice at your age. I am 50 and on my second divorce. I just never learned what a healthy relationship looked like.
  • Jan 1, 2011, 08:37 AM
    belgia
    Teen AL ALNON or ALANONTEEN is a good resource for you. You will find other teens in your situation and may open up communication for your father down the line also. Check in your area. The meetings are usually held at churches or social services buildings. Better sooner than later so the outlashing does not linger into adulthood. I wish you the best.

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