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-   -   Baby momma drama (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=538402)

  • Dec 28, 2010, 12:29 PM
    mari2012
    Baby momma drama
    My boyfriend has a crazy baby momma. When me and him starting talking, they weren't together. But once she found out that me and him were dating she told me that my boyfriend and her have been together since the baby was born. He completely denied it. He told me that she likes to start drama with every girl that gets involved with him. She would only let him see the baby if he wasn't talking to any girls, yet it was OK for her to see other guys... so my relationship with him had to be on the downlow in order for him to see the baby, because if she found out that we were still together, she wouldn't let him see the baby. She even sent him to jail. She has a restraining order against but she's still up his ***. Not that long ago she told me herself that I could have him and that she was moving on, but she posts stuff on her Facebook that she loves him and that they always be together. I confronted my boyfriend about all that and he said that he's kissing *** to her in order to see the baby because if he doesn't have any sort of good relationship with her, she can tell him that he can't see the baby and because of the restraining order, she can send him to jail if he gets close to her. He tells me he loves me and that he appreciates me being by side when all this drama is being caused by her. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him, but I think that he should tell her that he doesn't have feelings for her anymore, but that he wants to part of his baby's life. What do I do?
  • Dec 28, 2010, 12:45 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    He has the right to see his child, he needs to get a custody order though the court,

    It is very possible that she is telling the truth, and you are the one being seen on the side,
  • Dec 28, 2010, 12:52 PM
    mari2012
    Comment on Fr_Chuck's post
    He can only see her during holidays is what he told me... but he wants to be able to see the baby more often, but it seems like she's using the baby as a tie down for him in order for her to be with him when he doesn't want to.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 02:32 PM
    BlueFlame
    I know what you're going through. My situation is so bad, the baby mama tried to commit suicide just last night in a desperate attempt to manipulate my boyfriend into breaking up with me. When the child is still very young, unfortunately, we take the beating because the baby mama's behaviour is tolerated because they act like victims of circumstances. At the same time, I think we need to put ourselves in their shoes and ask whether we would remain sane in a situation like that. I think it must be extremely difficult to give birth to a child while still being emotionally attached to the father because I think they feel as though they are "owed" commitment. Unfortunately, it really puts a lot of strain on any relationship because insecurity can make you act crazy as well. Maria, love is like gambling: there's a 50/50 chance that things will work out for you or not. You just have to be as supportive as you can be for him for now and maintain open and honest communication at all times so that you don't bottle up your frustration. The mistake I keep making is allowing frustration to get the better of me and I always take it on him. Ultimately, you will drive him away anyway.
  • Dec 28, 2010, 05:04 PM
    talaniman

    You remain silently supportive until he gets it through is thick dumb skull to get his butt to court, and set child support, and visitations, and joint custody. Unless he does he ain't handling his business properly, and all there will be is drama, on top of drama. You can suggest that to him.
  • Dec 30, 2010, 09:04 AM
    mari2012
    Relationship
    I have a boyfriend that has a baby and a babymomma that says she's over him, but she won't leave him alone. My boyfriends ex made my boyfriends Facebook.. she knows his password and knows that I go onto his, so she posts stuff that she knows will piss me off. His most recent status says that he has realized that there are people that love him more than anything and that he was going back to how things used to be.. meaning he was going to be with his ex and their baby... she updates his status whenever she feels like it, so I don't know whether its really him saying this or if its her... how can I figure it out?
  • Dec 30, 2010, 10:19 AM
    talaniman

    Ask him. You already know how she is so figure its more of the same, and you already knows he is sloppy with handling his business, so again, more of the same.

    You obviously are caught in the middle of this, so instead of starting new questions about this baby mama drama, ask them here. Thanks in advance.

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