I have a child support case in Nashville Tennessee with my ex-husband G***. We have a 18 year old special needs daughter who I am paying child support for in the amount of $319.00. He is also receiving $233.00 for her from SSD. I am on disability and receiving $629.00 a month. I currently have a four year old and am due to have another child in two days. I have lost my home and am now living with my parents because I cannot afford to live on my own due to the child support payments. She is in school currently and my ex-husband's thought is to keep her in school as long as he can so he can continue to receive the checks. He has three children with his current wife and both of them are working. I am receiving food stamps and on medicaid. I don't mind providing for my daughter but now my two other children are hurting because of this. What can I do?

I doubt there is much you can do, however you could apply to the court for a modification of CS. Usually, though I am not at all familiar with your jurisdictions laws, what happens after a CS order is made is usually irrelevant to the CS order. Much in the way that when I decide to have a 4th child I must have the money to support the additional child. The court figures, if you decide to have subsequent children, as you did, then that's your choice, but you must still meet your responsibilities to the previous children.

If you feel that the decisions being made are not in the best interests of your child, then you can ask for a GAL to be appt. to determine if school is the right choice.

There are usually plenty of free legal help available through the court, bar associations, or law schools to the indegent.

We did not "decide" to have the fourth child. This was a menopause baby (oh my goodness!). I am currently supporting his younger three children and our 18 year old is nothing but a nanny and a income (trust me, my husband and myself both have knowledge of how it is honestly going). He and his current wife refuse to allow me nor our 20 year old daughter to speak, see, or even write to our daughter. As for free legal help, in the state of Tennessee, there isn't anything I have found so far that would even come close to helping me. There is plenty for single fathers but I have found NOTHING for mothers. I have contacted every person, organization, government, etc that I know of and have come up with nothing. Very frustrating! This case has been going on for two years now and he has just decided to increase the child support. THAT is why we are hurting right now. Any more suggestions? By the way, what is "GAL"?

I put the comment on the answer line. Sorry. Anymore suggestions?

Let me say, by way of deciding to have another child, the court looks at it this way: 1) did you intend to have intercourse? 2) Is pregnancy the foreseeable result of intercourse? 3) therefore you intended to bear the risk of preganance and thus another child. It isn't about your actual intent. It would be the same as when a couple of 15 year olds get pregnant, maybe they didn't intend to have a child, but they intended to have sex and did and now they pay CS. Simplistic maybe, but it's the law.

As for no legal assistance available, I did a Google search for legal assistance in TN and this looks like quite a bit.

WomensLaw.org | Tennessee: Legal Assistance

Do some more research and I think you will be surprised at what's available.

I am on disability and can't afford anything but I want to see my daughter. My exhusband and his wife have her. She is special needs but 18 years old (I don't think that makes much difference due to her mental status). He will not let me talk, see, nor write her. His words to me were "This is payback for when you didn't let me have the kids". Can he really do this? I pay CS. I provide medical insurance. I need legal help from SOMEONE.

Do you have a social worker? In Northern Illinois, we have a pro bono lawyer group called Prairie State Legal Services. Area lawyers volunteer or charge very low rates in order to help people with limited means. Ask your social worker (or call the reference desk at your library) to find out if your area has such a service, or, if it doesn't, what other similar avenues do you have.

In need of legal help in Florida AND Tennessee. Any ideas?

Ad, she was menopausal. That makes it reasonable to believe that pregnancy is NOT foreseeable because of sex.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

Ad, she was menopausal. that makes it reasonable to believe that pregnancy is NOT forseeable because of sex.

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Until there has been no period for at least a full year, a woman must use birth control if she doesn't want to get pregnant.

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Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

Ad, she was menopausal. that makes it reasonable to believe that pregnancy is NOT forseeable because of sex.

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This is where law and "common sense" part company. If she were 90 and became pregnant in the eyes of the law, it would have been a foreseeable consequence of intercourse.

The reasoning is: who is less culpable the woman who has intercourse and becomes pregnant or the disabled child that was born to her 18 years previous.

"Can he really do this? I pay CS. I provide medical insurance. I need legal help from SOMEONE."

First, no he can not violate the court orders any more than you can. Second, the only person who can give you legal advice is an attorney in the jurisdiction of the action. You are talking to people all over the country who have different laws that govern their states.

I gave you a link to a list of groups in TN that provide free legal advice in TN. Also, Wondergirl made an excellent suggestion to look to your social worker and ask about pro bono services. There is help put there, you need to go get it.

Does my current pregnancy/child have anything to do with what he is doing at this moment?

Do you honestly believe that if I KNEW I was going to get pregnant right now, I never would have had my daughter 18 years ago in order for both of them to have a better life now?

The question at this moment is, what do I do with the current issue? He wanting more CS, my daughter needing clothes and such, me being able to SEE my daughter, my other children in need, and who can I go to for help?

I have been to every group, organizations, government agencys, etc I could. No one I have talked to so far offers mothers free legal help in Tennessee unless the child/you have been abused. There are no social workers in Tennessee that do that.

I have been working on this for two years. I have no where else to go. I know you are not attorneys but I know there is SOMEONE out there who is or has gone through what I am going through now and has more intelligence on the subject than I do.

Did you check at the library (reference)?

Unfortunately. Nothing. I have found all kinds of information on fathers rights but little to nothing on mothers rights.

Thanks for the web site Ad- I'm checking it out now.

I think I have a hit. Thanks Ad!

How long ago did the child support start ?

It started two years ago. He is trying to increase it right now.

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Comment on Wondergirl's post
Unfortunately. Nothing. I have found all kinds of information on fathers rights but little to nothing on mothers rights.

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Did you ask a librarian for help during your search? I'll call a TN library tomorrow.