I am a 17 year old high school student, who is... gay.. I love theatrical art with a passion. I was in the fall production of our school and there was this really cute guy in the play. He is two years younger than me. I sort of liked him when I first met him, but nothing too serious. We then became very good friends and we would have lunch together pretty much everyday. One day during rehearsal, he put his hands on my face and started to stroke my cheeks. I did the same to him, thinking he was just messing around, no big deal. But then he did a lot of other intimate things to me during the following weeks. Like, one day we were just chilling backstage in the dark where no one could see us, and he asked me to sit beside him and he rested his head on my shoulder. We also occasionally held hands, with fingers interlocked. When we stand beside each other he would always lean toward me. We would always stare at each other even if we stood far apart. One day at a party we both had some beverages and he was really drunk. He hugged me and told everyone that we were gay for each other. I sort of ignored it because I have no idea if he was serious, but I was soooo happy! And also I heard alcohol makes it easy to say something you don't have the courage to say, right?
I found myself madly in love with him and didn't know what to do. I was so sure that he felt the same way for me as well. I wrote him a love letter the week after the play was done. He texted me and told me that he "loved me as a friend, and always will". I was really depressed afterwards. I told myself I should fade out of his life, because a normal straight male would totally be creeped out if another guy confesses to him, right? But he reacted differently. We still text and talk to each other. We were in this other show together and I still find him looking at me all the time. He even grabbed my hand the other day, (after I confessed to him). All this made me really confused. If he were truly straight, wouldn't he try to avoid me, like any other straight guy would do, so he doesn't give me the false impression? My friends told me that he's just really confused about himself, because his parents are really strict and apparently he's been bullied a lot in junior high, people called him "fag". So maybe he's just feeling confused and insecure? Or maybe, like he said, he doesn't like me more than just a friend, he's just being nice? I am really confused and depressed right now. What should I do about this whole situation? Should I wait for him to come around?
