Ask Me Help Desk - Why don't I enjoy sex

I am a 25 yr old female. When I had my first son 3 yrs ago I was diagnosed with a heart condition. I had 2 other kids after that lost one and had my last one over a yr ago. Since then my sex drive has been completely thrown off. I don't want to have sex at all. I have to make myself do it but I'm just not not it like I would like to be. It is causing most of the problems in my relationship. I take depression meds, I added abilfiy to it because all I want to do is sleep. I was on depo since I had my last child which was June of 2009. I stopped taking it December of 2010, I had my tubes tied but nothing is seeming to work. I want to make my relationship work. My boyfriend is older than me and is very energetic but I just feel like I am tired and don't feel like doing anything. The kids keep me going but half the time Im not even botherd by them so why do I feel this way Can someone *** help me!

Depo is infamous for killing Libidos as well as depression meds, depending of course. All this medication will have different effects on you depending on your own personal body and hormonal chemistry.

You also have the stress of looking after two kids and a heart condition. This is a lot of stress and the stress of it all can also kill libido. Tell me, besides the recognition that sex isn't on your mind all that often, do you think about it all that much? Read romance novels or find yourself wanting at all?

You have a series of problems that tend to kill it all. What can we do about it.
First off you are going tot need to wait for a while to get the depo out of your system. That might take months. You might want to talk to your doctor, or whoever prescribed you the anti-depressants about their effect on your libido. Yes, you're going to need to be as straight forward with your doctor as your have been with us.

Your heart condition, do you require medication for it. What is the condition. Again check out the side effects and drug interactions if you do.

As for the mental aspects here, specifically stress, you might need to figure a way to de-stress. It might be worth it to talk to your counsellor about this. Having a heart condition tends to make you concerned about life, dying early, and what will happen once your gone. Even if it isn't all that major. It is hard to think about with that hanging over your head.

I hope you figure this out.

Honestly, I see your answer as somewhat simple:

1. You probably have not taken the time to grieve the loss of your child.
2. You have two children under 3 years of age! That's EXHAUSTING!
3. You have depression--and the medication that goes with it.
4. You have a boyfriend, not a husband. What's with that? He's okay enough to have kids with, but not commit to for the rest of your life?
5. You're stressed about sex. Nothing like thinking about it with any negative emotion to make it that more elusive.

Talk to your DOCTOR about this. I'm betting there is something he/she can do to help you.

You need to swith your dep meds. They lower your sex drive. Ask your doctor for a new prescription. Also, watch porn to get you "started". You and your boyfriend could also talk about adding another woman, that will definitely spice things up!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sffeathers

you need to swith your dep meds. They lower your sex drive. ask your doctor for a new prescription. Also, watch porn to get you "started". You and your bf could also talk about adding another woman, that will definetly spice things up!

Are you KIDDING me? You must be a young male, because you don't get how the female mind works at ALL.

Porn does nothing for many women. Most of us are just not as visual as men are.

And talking about adding another woman to the mix---why not talk about adding another MAN to the mix? Wouldn't that turn most MEN on?

Get real. You're talking about things that turn most MEN on, not things that turn most WOMEN on---and for some women, porn and talking about adding another woman are deal-breakers.

I left your post ONLY because you were smart enough to suggest she go to the doctor for her medications.