K... here goes !

I'm 28 yrs old and not very sexually experienced, 2 partners only. I'm very insecure about being the "woman on top" during sex. I know it's becoming boring for my boyfriend to constantly be doing all the work but I just don't even know what to do! I know the obvious, just go on top but I don't even really know what to do when I'm there. He is a bit on the small side so when I do attempt being on top, he slips out.

Help! Need confidence to be the woman on top! Anyone experienced out there :) ?

Try wrapping your feet under his legs just under his butt. If he is still slipping out, try using shorter motion. I think you will learn to enjoy being on top.:)

There are many positions, you need to look into various ones,

And so if they don't work at first, laugh and have fun with it. Learning is part of the fun

Never give up, because practice makes perfect, and if it ain't perfect, so what it, was fun.

From what I hear, woman ontop position is the favorite amongst women. The reason is they can control how fast, how slow, how deep and so forth. Experimentation is key. I am surprised you have not experimented in several different ways. There are so many things that you can try. Please do not say anything about his little pee pee being on the small size. To be honest, most men are average size. It is not the size that matters but how you use it.

Joe

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Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

From what I hear, woman ontop position is the favorite amongst women. The reason is they can control how fast, how slow, how deep and so forth. Experimentation is key. I am surprised you have not experimented in several different ways. There are so many things that you can try. Please do not say anything about his little pee pee being on the small size. To be honest, most men are average size. It is not the size that matters but how you use it.

Joe

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I thought we were all the same size when erect?? ;)

There are not any set rules when it come to sex. And you should never be insecure in any thing you do sexually, if you know the guy well enough to have sex with him then you don't have to worry about being insecure. If he wants you on top, get on top. Then experiment till something feel good to you, and tell him if something feel good to him for him to tell you. One way that you can try that I like is for you to straddle him with you on your knees, bent slightly forward then move your body forward and back instead of up and down, this will tend to keep him inside of you and not have any slipouts, plus it is a good way to put lots of action on your clitoris

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Originally Posted by Skell

I thought we were all the same size when erect???? ;)

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A favorite joke - why are some women so bad at estimating measurements? Because men have been lying to them about what is 6 inches their whole lives.


As for the OP topic... try not to get stressed and be willing to experiment. If I want to get my partner to climax usually oral is best. Second is her on top. Missionary (man on top facing woman) is usually a going-along-for-the-ride event for her. She likes it, but it never, ever gets her there.

One girl I dated could get off missionary with strong c1itoral stimulation. Shed tell me when and I could use my fingers to stim the area and it worked like a charm all the time. Of course my next partner HATED strong c1itoral stim with fingers so unfortunately there's no perfect answer.

Don't be afraid to stim yourself while he's inside you missionary or even you on top. The first time a girl I was with did this I was a little surprised, but it didn't stop the moment, and ended up being a turn on... knowing the girl is working to get her to that place is erotic, once you get past the hang ups.

And lastly, you need your mind in the right place. There are times when I can look at my partner, with me doing all of the things she likes, and I just know it isn't going to work. Why? If her mind is wandering and she can't lose herself in the moment its just hard to get there. So being too anxious can be a bad cycle of frustration.

Try to have fun and be excited about what you are learning about yourself.

I use to feel the same way as you but I overcame this fear. First, you have to be confident in yourself. If you're not, it'll show in how you move. Make sure you get in the mood (dress sexy, foreplay, set the mood). When he sees how much you enjoy it, he'll enjoy it too. There's a fun book you should get called "Positions of the day." No one can show you how to move, it's got to come naturally. Watch some adult porn, that might help.

I would say your overthinking it... How comfotable with your body are you?
Ignore the trying to get pleasure out of it at first... jusst begin to get comfortable... then ease the fun stuff in after you get your motion and position right...
And Even when you don't know how to do it... I would say think of a porn and pertend you do know... the more you get into it and release the more you will get out of it...
Tell your partner to let you feel it out first and you might switch back to your normal until you get it right!