My husband will not give me oral sex. We have been married for 6 months and have been dating for three years. We lived together for two years. He calls himself "inexperienced" because he has only been with one other woman besides me.
Let me start by saying that I LOVE to give oral to men. It is one of my favorite things to do. I give my husband oral every time that we have sex. We have sex about two to three times a week. And sometimes, I just give him a BJ, just because I like to please him.

He will not give me oral.

He told me that he did it a COUPLE times with his ex-girlfriend, and he hated it. He said that he couldn't breathe, and the smell set him off. He says that he will try, but has NEVER made an effort. I keep myself clean… I have even tasted myself before, and I would go down on me! When I push the issue.. He gets annoyed, and says that he will try, but has NEVER done it. At times, I imagine someone going down on me when I use my vibrator, and that is the only way that I can get off. I should not have to masturbate.

How can I fix this? What is the problem?

I don't know if my advice will help but I thought I'd give it a shot.

What you don't want to do is stop giving him BJ's thinking since he's not going down on me I won't go down on him, that will make things worse.

I'm under the impression from the "couldn't breathe" that he thinks he has to bury his face in you. You could just have him start by giving you light licks on your lips and clitoris, giving him some "breathing room." He may get used to breathing and get closer, eventually burying his face in you :)

You said he never went down on you. How does he know how you taste? Maybe his ex didn't take care of herself like you do. What he could do is finger you then taste his fingers see what he thinks.

And of course, communicate with him that you enjoy what he is doing to you. I think the "inexperience" comment maybe comes from how our society wants us to think if men don't sleep with at least a dozen women they are "inexperienced." He has you to get "experienced" and that's all the experience he needs.

Some people like something's, other people don't like some things,

No one should ever be forced into various sexual positions if they don't want to,

Now sex after a good show and less body odor can help, as can other fun activities from body paints to games.

But playing I won't if you won't games is only a way to start hard feelings, he is honest why he does not like it, which is most likely hard for him to talk about. Telling him no unless, may just backfire in all sorts of way.

He may require more time to be taught but patients may pay off in the long run. Try not to be frustrated and stick with the teaching, I think he'll learn if you go slow with him.

In the right position he can place his tongue on your clitoris "which is the main part anyway" he can do this and still have plenty of room to breath. Let him ease into it, give him time and maybe you will be rewarded in the future as he is being rewarded now. And please don't stop going down on him, if you do he may take it as a punishment.

I wish I could tell you something that would really help you but I have the same problem in reverse I love doing that to my wife but in the 14 years we have been married she has only tried to please me this way 3 times. Every once in a while I'll bring it up but it only annoys her I have basically given up. I guess you could always try visual aids maybe that would work a good dvd on how to or something. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by littlebunnyfoofoo

My husband will not give me oral sex. We have been married for 6 months and have been dating for three years. We lived together for two years. He calls himself "inexperienced" because he has only been with one other woman besides me.
Let me start by saying that I LOVE to give oral to men. It is one of my favorite things to do. I give my husband oral every time that we have sex. We have sex about two to three times a week. And sometimes, I just give him a BJ, just because I like to please him.

He will not give me oral.

He told me that he did it a COUPLE times with his ex-girlfriend, and he hated it. He said that he couldn't breathe, and the smell set him off. He says that he will try, but has NEVER made an effort. I keep myself clean… I have even tasted myself before, and I would go down on me! When I push the issue.. He gets annoyed, and says that he will try, but has NEVER done it. At times, I imagine someone going down on me when I use my vibrator, and that is the only way that I can get off. I should not have to masturbate.

How can I fix this? What is the problem?

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Bunny, my little rabbit, He's a keeper! The fact that he's comfortable enough with you to tell you he's inexperienced says a lot about his love and respect for you. I can understand how he feels. I'm a little shy when it comes to that myself. Being down there and trying to please your partner makes you feel vulnerable and under pressure to pleasure. He's openned the door to talk about it by expressing his feelings. Next time you're together, maybe cuddle and just hold each other. That gives both of you comfort and a safety net to talk intimately about how he feels and maybe offer suggestions on how to take things slowly. I agree with the other members in taking time to work it out.
As for masturbation, it no longer has the stigma it did years ago. There's nothing wrong with self exploration and seeing what you like and don't like. The fact you put your husband above it says a lot about your commitment to him.
He may have had a bad experience with his exgirlfriend and unfortunately good people like you (and him too) pay the price. There are other ways for him to pleasure you until he can become comfortable with what you're asking him for. Best wishes in your new life together and have fun trying!!

Next time your giving him oral, hop around and let him look at you from behind... 69 = my FAVORITE "foreplay" position in the WORLD... See what it does for him :)


Ugh... I need a girl LOL

Good luck!

Lame... super old post...

This is two years old!

Closed!@