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-   -   Ex wants to rekindle things. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=53695)

  • Jan 10, 2007, 01:08 PM
    jamies
    Ex wants to rekindle things.
    If your ex says that he has wanted to rekindle things after school and it has been two years since you broke up but he keeps pursuing it and kept in contact all along and you both have had your lives and now it is close to him being done and now he tells you he might have a job offer in SF in a law firm so it will be an hour away from me and he doesn't have to move there he could commute.. Do you think if he was serious about really having me in his life and rekindling things again he would move that far away when he doesn't have to.. we would hardly see each other.. tons of people commute from where I live to there.. I am just wondering what I should do if he decides to move away.. I am leaning on cutting all ties and forget the whole thing.. any advice?
  • Jan 10, 2007, 02:06 PM
    JChev06
    I would say to go with it for a while and see how it works out. Once I graduated, I moved over 2 hours away from girlfriend. I loved her, but this was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. We would email back and forth during the day and talk on the phone at night. We would both make trips back and forth to see each other. After a while see found a job around where I live and we're engaged. It was hard at first. You will know if it's worth the hassle.
  • Jan 11, 2007, 07:06 AM
    talaniman
    You really don't sound that enthsiastic with this situaton so maybe think about it some more. He has to go where the oppurtunity is for his job. You have a right to be happy, so decide is he worth it or not?
  • Jan 11, 2007, 11:59 AM
    MISSIBAYBE
    How was your break up? Do you think you had enough time to change and make things work the second time around? With you or without you, he's going to leave to SF and you shouldn't stop him. Long distance relationships don't work if you're a needy person. I would just stay friends and have an open relationship. That way no feelings will get hurt if it doesn't work out.
  • Jan 11, 2007, 12:13 PM
    varaprasad
    Take it slow don't hurry and end up making babies with an uncommited person
  • Jan 11, 2007, 12:14 PM
    jamies
    The break up was hard.. he broke up and never stopped saying he loved and missed me but he had to finish school.. and he has been doing this for two years now.. its the most draining process ever.. I have no idea what to do.. apart of me just wished I would have cut him out of my life the day he ended things.. apart of me still loves him and wants to believe in what he says.. and apart of me doesn't know if I am just a back up plan.. and now its coming close to him being done and now he might move to SF after all of this.. I am just so torn.. I wouldn't ask him to stay that will be his choice to move.. but if he decides to move there then I guess I was never in his plan because he could have commuted to work there.. from here.. one of the main reasons he wants to move there is because some of his friends live there.. anyway I just have no idea what to do at this point..
  • Jan 11, 2007, 12:18 PM
    MISSIBAYBE
    It's another chapter of your life. If it's meant to be, it will work out for you. But know that if he moves to SF and is out with his friends partying, you can't get upset about it. You're going to have to tackle some other obstacles. Is it going to be worth it? You should take this time and date around yourself. See what else there is out there.
  • Jan 11, 2007, 12:41 PM
    momincali
    There's no use in thinking about what you should have done 2 years ago, you can't change it, but you can change things from this moment on. He's stringing you along it seems, move on. Love isn't enough to keep you two together, there needs to be commitment, respect and trustworthiness to name few. I don't know if you were a back up plan, if your intuition tells you that, then you should trust it. I know these are things you'd rather not think about but this pebble is going to be in your shoe until you remove it.

    Don't wait for him to drop the final ax when he decides to move on to SF. You may want to initiate the conversation. Missi is right, this is another chapter in your life. So, let him know that you've waited long enough and you're ready to move on. And then do it.

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