Hi all, I was dumped about a month ago, started trying no contact and failed. We talked about 3 times a week or so for the first two weeks. I then managed to go one week without contacting her. After this, we talked maybe twice this past week and now I am just totally going crazy. The last time we talked she told me something along the lines of "i just dont want to talk to you ever, i just dont want you in my life" since the beginning she has been steadfast on repeating that "we are never getting back together"

I just would like to point out that she broke up with me via phone call/text message after dating for almost a year and a half (long story) and texts me every now and then on the weekends when she is drunk saying she misses me but we have to move on/we are not right for each other... can anyone out there decipher what is going on in her head?
Also any guys out there available to offer advice as far as not contacting her, avoiding the urges to contact her etc...

Sidenote: it was a pretty serious relationship and then due to financial reasons she had to transfer to a college back in her home state. She picked the closest one and was only about an hour away for since September, we broke up in late November.

Getting dumped over a text message after a year sucks! But, not much you can do now other than accept it.

She told you straight up a number of times that it's over. As for the confusing texts well, she is just going through all her mixed up emotions. Those texts change nothing and all they do is set off your emotions.

Start all over with NO Contact! This time block her number, block her off any social networking sites... basically get rid of anything that will remind you of her. Read the stickies at the top of the relationship page on this forum... tons of great advice there. It's very simple... the more you commit to No Contact the sooner you will heal. I'm not saying it is easy but, you can't expect to get over someone when you keep in contact with them. Focus on yourself and your well being. Go work out at the gym, surround yourself with your friends, plan out your future... keep your mind engaged on what ever you like to do. Just takes time... you will come out of this better in the end.

I can deal with not talking to her, because after getting that awesome little text message, I just think she is a straight up ***** (not to be mean, but let's be for real.)

The part I am having trouble with is that it seemingly came out of nowhere. One week before the break up she texted me and said "Come visit right now!," I told her I couldn't because the little money I had I needed for gas to drive home to see my family for thanksgiving. She texted me that whole weekend, and we talked on the phone every night, always ending the phone call with "goodnight i love you." Thanksgiving we just texted each other because we were both with family and I didn't want to be rude. The next day we were talking on the phone, she said something along the lines of "i gotta go, im hanging out with my friends tonight" then I got the text that said "why do you even talk to me? i dont want to talk to you anymore"

and that was how I was dumped.

It came, at least for me, out of nowhere and I am honestly starting to question whether there is someone else at the new school, and many many other things. But obviously my first thought is someone else, and even if it is not, why the hell was it so abrupt and random?

To sum it up in a quote my friend found for me: "The hardest goodbyes are the ones you never got to say and the ones that can't be explained."

^that is what gets me, we can move on, it happens, people break up. But at least have the decency to tell me to my face, maybe have a handshake or hug, say goodbye and we go our own ways. This way I can have no more questions, I have my closure. How can I ever truly, fully heal without having any closure?

Many people on this forum( myself included) totally understand how you feel. While it may seem like your ex all of a sudden just dumped you it was not like that. Truth is she probably spent a long time thinking about breaking up... I'm sure there was signs... there always is, we just miss them.

You can speculate about another guy, what you did wrong, etc, until you drive yourself crazy. Sometimes the reason for a breakup is very obvious other times there isn't... one person simply fell out of love and once it is gone, it's gone( she probably doesn't understand it all herself either). I will agree with you that getting dumped over the phone or text is pretty disrespectful. But, Hey!. happens to many people. Sucks but, this is the card that you were delt.

While it's good to reflect back on the relationship(helps with healing) it shouldn't be your main focus right now. Trust me you will gain some perspective and get some closure on this... it just takes time. Like all crappy events in life the key question is "what am I going to do now?". You can let this event take over your life or you can take control and decide your direction. Learn from this and let it go. Time is the most precious commodity in life... why waste it speculating on the past about someone that doesn't care anymore?