My daughter was a result of a rape. No one knows the person who raped me a little over 4 years ago. I'm engaged now and we are preparing for our wedding next year. My fiancé is the only father my child has ever known. She calls him da-da. He wants to be her legal custodian in case something were to happen to me before we get married and after we are married, he wants to adopt her. I do not have any objection to him being the legal custodian of my daughter in that case and do not wish my daughter to go to any of my family members due to a nasty situation. They do not want contact with her anyhow because she is biracial. I do not want her to go to his kids or family for the same reason. If something does happen to us both, I want her to go to her Godmother. How can I go about doing all of the above-getting him legal guardianship over my daughter without giving up my parental rights, the adoption process, and making sure she goes to her Godmother if something does happen to both of us besides a will?

Why do you say "besides a will?" A will is exactly what you need. You should specify in your will who you want the guardian of your child to be in case you die, and a contingent guardian in case the first guardian is unable or unwilling to do it. While you're at it - once you're married draw up living will and power of attorney documents, so that your husband can take care of affairs in case you are incapacitated.

Keep in mind that if you do not have a will, if you die prior to getting married your assets and responsibility for the child will fall to your relatives.

Yes you need a will.

And who is the "his kids or family" is that your boyfriends family ?

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Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

who is the "his kids or family" is that your boyfriends family ?

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That's how I read it.

Was a police report filed for the rape? If so, there there should be no problem in your husband getting an adoption. You would not be giving up any rights in that case.

Also since children are not an item like furniture they can not be passed along in a will. The due course of law will have to be followed. In the case of godparents they do have some legal standing in courts but it doesn't hold as much water as it used to. The reason being that godparents are religious based. Courts hate dealing with that. You are free to mention it in a will and to express your wants but they may or may not be followed through. Please be aware of that. The law will come first.

No police report or medical report on file and yes you have read it correctly.