Hi I just recently got married and my husband has a 3 year old son, He calls me mom and I do all the motherly things with him. His mother has not tried to see him since his first birthday. She has seen him uptown with me or my husband and stuff like that but she has not tried to make any effort on coming and seeing him or asking how he is doing. I was just wondering how long we have to wait before we can file for child abandoment. We both want me to adbot his son but we want her out of the picture.

Basically you can't. You could only file like that if you had no idea where she was, which is obviously not the case. What you CAN do is request that she relinquish her rights so you can adopt.

You can file a motion with the court for you to adopt him. The mother would have to give her consent.