Ask Me Help Desk - How do I win her back?

How do I win her back?

I was with this girl for about 3 years and it was great. She had liked me for about 6 months before we even started seeing each other. Towards the end a lot of things started going wrong in my family so I stopped giving her as much attention as I use to. We eventually split up and now she's seeing someone new. Its been 10 months now and I'm still not over her and we have kissed several times. So what I want to know is there a chance of us getting back together and if so how do I do it?:confused:

AH unfortunately as we have all gathered by now there is no secret formula to get someone back.

The best thing for you now is No contact, she obviously has no idea what she wants.

Let her see you are not there as a backup option.

Spike, get the idea out of your head that a girl is a prize to be won back. As good as your relationship was for those three years, and despite the kisses you share, it apparently isn't important enough for her to want you back as badly as you do her. You can stand on your head out in the rain and all your work and effort won't get her back right now.

Like Rol said, you need to keep your distance, have no contact, and allow her to come back to you, if that is what she decides. I'm not saying you sit around, twiddle your thumb and be at her mercy. Get on with your life. If things are still unsettled with your family, continue to be there for them. Get busy in sports or school or work (depending on your age).

It will be difficult but not impossible. You'll find many others in this site shared your problem many times over and will find that the advice given above seems to be the key. You can do anything you like with our advice, but it would be most beneficial to you to take it.

I forgot 2 say that we live not even 100 yards apart an we shair the same friends

No such thing as winning someone back.

As Joe and Mom have said you don't win someone back. No ones loves is one. It is earned. And sadly for you, you have lost this girls love. Nothing you do can win it back.

It is time for you move on with your life and forget about trying to get her back.

Cut contact with her and concentrate on other things in your life. It is hard I know but if the sooner you move on and stop worrying about her the better!

Good luck!

Let her do her thing while you do what necessary to get over her and get a life without her that makes you happy. Leave her alone period, just be friendly, as you are neighbors. Tough on the heat but would you rather mope around like a sad sack or be enjoying your youth and having fun. The sooner you realise there is a big world to explore and leave the past in the past, the sooner you will find better things to do.

It might be just me, but I think if this girl couldn't be understanding enough to see that you were having family issues and was that selfish and impatient to not hang around and give you support, then I'd say she wasn't a keeper anyway.
No hard feelings I hope - just my blunt opinion.
Kae

I agree with everyone above! She's not worth it and no woman is. You will find someone who sticks with you not matter what is going on in your life. Good luck :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by spike549

i was with this girl for about 3 years and it was great.

Was it? I mean it may very well have had it's moments but after we go through a break up we tend to only think about the good times or use the good times as reasons we can't move on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spike549

she had liked me for about 6 months before we even started seeing each other. towards the end a lot of things started going wrong in my family so i stopped giving her as much attention as i use to.

So after 3 years she didn't love, respect, or appreciate you enough to give you time to work out your family situation. She doesn't sound as great as you made her out to be already.

Secondly, I bet that was the reason she told you she was breaking up with you, right? I'd bet the real reason was she was interested in some one else but that became her cop out excuse to put all the blame on you and take all the blame off her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spike549

we eventually split up n now shes seeing someone new.

Oh look at that. Just like I thought.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spike549

its been 10 months now and im still not over her and we have kissed several times.

So, this woman who has a boyfriend, she sees your not over her and strings you alone by kissing you every now and then. Always keeping you on the back burner just in case her boyfriend, that she supposedly is committed to, dumps her. I'm sorry but kissing is cheating and she's a cheater. She cheated on you, she's cheating on him, and if he ever dumps her and she comes back to you she will cheat on you... again.

Quote:

Originally Posted by spike549

so what i want to know is there a chance of us getting back together and if so how do i do it?:confused:

Yes. If her boyfriend finds out that she's cheating on him and dumps her. Then she'll come running back to you, and you will be with her until she repeats this pattern.

You've already wasted 10 months in dragging this on. It's time to cut all contact and move on.

Wow Chuff, can I have your autograph? Tried to rep but had to spread it instead...

Quote:

Originally Posted by momincali

Wow Chuff, can I have your autograph?! Tried to rep but had to spread it instead...

To momincail,

Best wishes and warm thoughts,

Chuff <-----electronic signature.

Yaaaaay, I'll never wash my computer screen or defrag my my hard drive ever again!

Never mind all that. If you are in love with someone and circumstantial problems end the relationship, half the time the breakup is just a fluke. You can win a person back. Take some time to leave the person alone. Focus on your life, better yourself. But keep the lines of communications open, and eventually you will be around when they have their guard down. If you can't survive a measely break-up and win them back, you were never in love with them.

All this time wasted on her and just think of those that you may have overlooked! Stop concentrating on her and open your eyes as to what's around you... You may end up happier in the long run.

I don't get this, "We kissed several times since" how does THAT happen? Have you been dating or did you just trip and kiss her?! She must be a playah! RUN FOREST RUN!! ;)