I feel it's the right thing to do because he has been living with me for seven months and hasn't paid me any rent money. So for all this time I have made sure he had a warm place to stay, a bed to sleep in, gas in his car, and food to eat. For all of this I felt I deserved some appreciation, but he has recently made it very clear he has no respect for me and acts like he is entitled to these things. I was feeling rather neglected so I voiced my feelings to him. All he had to say to me was that I was obviously putting too much effort into the relationship because he was not going to put the same effort into it. I really care about him, but I can't have someone who talks down to me and tries to demoralize me endlessly. Still, I worry that I might be missing out on a man that could one day be very worth my time. Mostly though, I just feel lonely already.

You may feel lonely, and you may well be alone, but you did the right hing kicking this ungrateful loser to the curb and getting him out of your life.

That's the first step in making room for something better for your own happiness.

It was well worth it, and soon you will see that for yourself

Bravo, on a good move!!

He didn't appreciate what you did, told you point blank that he's not going to put any effort into your relationship. He's a user, and you're not allowing him to use you. Good for you!

I know it hurts. Even when someone is bad for us we still hurt when they're gone, especially if we loved them despite their faults.

You can't change him, and he's not willing to make the change on his own, so good riddance.

You'll find someone that deserves you, someone that will care about you the same way you care about them. Trust me, this feeling of loneliness won't last, and soon you'll realize that you did the right thing.

Until then, pamper yourself. Treat yourself to something nice, spend time with friends and family and go don't contact him. He's not worth your time.

Good luck.

You have already been lonely, you just didn't want to face it! There is lonely and then there is being alone. Him just living there mooching off you, and then had enough nerve as to advise you he wasn't going to put anymore into the relationship then what he already was which is NOTHING, wow geez how can you even live without such a LOSER, please a perfect stranger will treat you with more respect!!

Its more then time to start living like a grown up woman who not only deserves but expects respect just as she would give it. Kindness is not something that we should have to beg for nor pay for, its something given! He wouldn't even give you that, get out and find a REAL MAN. A man that knows how to WORK for lifes necessities, and would want a woman by his side, not wiping his backside with her pride!! Your doing the right thing by getting him out of your life, to make room for a REAL MAN!!

I agree with all of the above. You did the right thing. I think it's time now for you to expend that energy on doing things for yourself. Go out and have some fun. Connect with your friends. Make new friends. Spend time with your family. Be sure and make plans, keep yourself busy, and appreciate how much better life is when you aren't taking care of someone who treated you this way. Maybe take some of that money you aren't spending on him and do a little shopping. Good luck. You will find lots of encouragement here if you need it.

Yeah, he's actually packing his things and walking out the door at the moment. There is a lot I want to say, but I suppose that would defeat the whole purpose. Still I feel almost like I'm the one being dumped. Deep down I wish everything would just blow over and things would be good, but I know that he would have to be a totally different person for things to ever be OK... I just want to curl up in a blanket and stuff my face with ungodly amounts if comfort food...

So, do just that and have a good cry, and then pick yourself up and start thinking about what to do next. You might start by reading the stickies in this forum. You would also benefit by reading other people's stories. It will show you what to do, what not to do, and give you hope that things will get better.

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Originally Posted by AliceMay

Yeah, he's actually packing his things and walking out the door at the moment. There is a lot I want to say, but I suppose that would defeat the whole purpose. Still I feel almost like I'm the one being dumped. Deep down I wish everything would just blow over and things would be good, but I know that he would have to be a totally different person for things to ever be ok... I just want to curl up in a blanket and stuff my face with ungodly amounts if comfort food...

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Oh sweetie. I know it hurts. Been there, done that, moved on and found Mr. Right. We've been together 20 years now, and boy am I glad I moved on from the losers of my past.

Go grab some comfort food. It's comfort food for a reason. Like JLo said, cry it out, and then pick yourself up. Call some friends, get together, go out, or just stay home in your PJ's, put on a chick flick and vent. Or, post here. Let it all out. It's cathartic, and you have the bonus of being able to say whatever you want. We're strangers, can't see your face, and you can't see us, so you can say whatever's on your mind and not worry about it later.

I know that right now you just want to call him back because it hurts. You will hit low points, but you know you did the best thing for you.

A few days from now the pain will be a bit more dull. A few weeks from now you'll feel better. A few months from now you'll be ready to move on, and you will.

Time. That's what you need now. Time and chocolate ice cream, a new pair of shoes and a day at the spa. ;)

The whole time he was leaving he was so incredibly cold, and that's understandable. I just can't get to sleep. I want him to be here and hold me so desperately, but there's no going back. I just feel so alone and can hardly stand it. I'm sure that across town he is feeling the same way... Oh gosh how long will I feel like this?

Just put at the top of your thoughts why you asked him to leave in the first place.

It seems he was cold before this, too. You are going to feel hurt for a while. You broke up with him for good reasons. When you start to doubt yourself, read over this thread and remember the reasons you weren't happy. Even when you are the one that asked to break up you have those feelings of loss. It is hard to sleep and eat at first.

Let me share with you some of the things I did when I was going through the same thing. First, make sure you eat even when you don't feel like it. You might not eat as much as normal, but eat enough that you don't get run down or sick.

Second, find a way to sleep. That can take many forms. If you exercise, it will burn off some of your anxiety. If you have a sport or activity you really enjoy, do that - especially if it's something that makes you laugh or smile, or helps you take out some aggression. I play racquetball. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to hit that little blue ball as hard as I can or to chase down what seems like a ball that will be impossible to return. Even taking a walk is a great way to relax and feel better about the world, especially if you can go someplace beautiful - possibly a park?

I also practice a muscle relaxation technique when I'm in bed and having a hard time sleeping. Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths. Start with one foot. Slowly tense the foot, squeezing as tightly as you can to a count of ten. Relax the foot, concentrating on the tension flowing away and the feeling of relaxation in the foot. Stay in this relaxed mode for a moment, and then switch to the other foot. You continue this up your legs one at a time, first the calf muscles and then the thigh muscles. Continue the process up your body: hips, abdomen, hands, arms, chest, neck and face. Don't rush it. By the time you are done, you will be amazed at how much better you feel. For me, it almost always works to calm me enough to go to sleep. If it doesn't, I do the process a second time.

As to how long, it's hard to say but you can do a lot to make the process easier and faster for yourself. It starts with No Contact (read the stickies), taking care of yourself, keeping busy, having fun with friends and family. Just realize that it's a process and you will have good days and bad days for a while, but stay strong and positive and it will pay off.

Your in love with the man he was at the beginning.

He is no longer the same man.

He made it pretty clear that he wasn't going to make any effort towards the relationship.

So as much as it hurts right now you will see that you did the right thing. You are going to miss the "idea" of him for a little while. That's fine, just at the same time remember the "reality" of who he really was.

Keeping busy helps, like JLo said.

I find that keeping a journal always helps me get through the rough times. It's amazing to read back some of the things I've gone through and see the progress I've made every single day. It also helps you get your anger out.

Write a letter to him in the journal (one you won't send) saying everything you feel. Let it all out. The one important thing is to not only write the bad. In every journal entry include something good, something that made your day brighter. It can be as simple as having a cookie. But the good things are important to remember too.

You'll get there. It takes time. There's no set amount of time, everyone is different. You're strong, otherwise you wouldn't have had the courage to take this step and rid yourself of this dead weight. You'll get there. I have faith in you. :)

He's deleted me on Facebook, and we always shared a cell phone, so the only way to talk to him is to e-mail him. He had his downfalls, but the more I think about it, the less I feel I gave him a real chance to redeem himself. What do I do? Should I just accept my mistake and live with it? Or can I still get him back, while still sticking to my convictions?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ly-536423.html

I read your other thread, and I firmly believe you did the right thing,you made an intelligent and wise decision.

Now is time for back up,time to call your friends or family and get some support around you.

Breakups are hard no matter what the circumstances and that rising panic that you made the wrong decision is only temporary,its fear on loneiness.

You will OK, this is your time now, stick to no contact.

There is always someone online here for support and advice.

I'm going to post a link to another thread that I think you may relate to,it may take a while but keep an eye on your thread.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...qs-510423.html

Alice, it's best to keep all info about the same subject on the same thread instead of making new ones. That way all the info is there on one thread. It makes it easier for new people that are reading your posts to get the whole picture and give you better advice.

I'll ask the mods to merge this thread with your other one. Please keep all info regarding the above on that thread. Okay?

Thanks. :)