My ex and I were together for 9 years and have a 9yr old daughter. We had a long distance relationship for first 7years. We broke up a year ago and I still can't get over him. He always wanted us to be togetther but I wasn't ready to let go of my single life. We both had cheated previously: he cheated first then I for payback. But after that lost some trust and respect towards him. He continued to pressure me to marry and I wanted only because afraid to lose him but felt I wasn't ready. Then he finally broke up with me last Nov. then I found out he had someone else at least 6months before he broke it off. I to had also cheated again. His betrayal doesn't allow me to move on. Regardless of all this, I still want him back. I've always had a lot of pride but it seems nothing else matter but hoping him would come back. They are planning to marry, that was devasting news. He says its my fault. I feel guilty but shouldn't since we both contributed. Don't know what to do and it makes it worse that I have to see him all the time since we share custody. I don't know what I feel don't know if it's love or just obsessed. I can't get over the fact he going to marry the one he betrayed me with. Every time I see him I want his attention, I wished he would want to come back. I feel depressed and holiday season is getting to me. Help...

Why you want him back is the mystery to me, first you really only had a real relationship for about 2 years , not counting the long distance, and most of those 2 years if not all, he was cheating.

He jumped right from you to someone else, and is ready to marry them. **** did you and he ever marry ***

I think you more miss feeling safe and not having to worry about being lone more than a relationship, but often people stay in abusive and poor relationships for fear of moving on.

Next why do you have to "see" him, you drop him off, or he pulls up outside and calls and the child goes out.

Or even use a third party to do the transferes

This sounds mean but you should hear yourself.
Starting with 'I wasn't ready to let go of my single life' you have cheated, waffled, changed your mind, decided you can't trust him, broken up with him. I don't see where he is worse? I just don't get why you are upset or in love or want him back. You have no right to be devastated by his remarriage. Get over it and be friends for the sake of your child. I know people who have huge family get togethers with all the exes and everyone gets along fine.
Is it because he has someone new already and you don't? Statistically men find a new partner much sooner than women do. You'll find someone. Maybe that will help even things out.

No, we never married.

If this was a new girl after the fact, it would be easier to get along. But it's the one he cheated with for months. Never met her but can't stand her. Everyday I pray to forgive, let go & move on. Haven't been able to

There's really nothing you can do to get him back, but if it's any consolation, just remember that most of the time when men leave one woman for another, it never works out.

Also, keep in mind, that if he left you for her, he’ll probably leave her for someone else. The honeymoon state of mind will eventually turn into a routine. Men get bored once things turn into a routine.

I know it's tough, but you need to dust yourself off, keep moving forward and stop wasting your time looking back at where you have been. If it did not work out the first time, it will not work out the next time.

Try smiling cause it WILL get better.

You two have not really had a stable relationship. You weren't' together that much and when you were you were cheating on each other.
I don't think you love him I think he has moved on and it bothers you.
He is getting married, get over it. Does not sound like you two were a match anyway.